


Lace and Leather

by mugglecastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Blackmail, Castiel is a Tease, College Student Castiel, Drinking, Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Homophobic Slurs, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Parental Issues, Rape/Non-con Elements, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Smoking, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Stripping, Suicide mention, Swearing, dean is kind of like a sugar daddy at times, dependency???, i dont know what else to tag, i mean cmon there is swearing it's a strip club and more, i'll update it over time, occasional smut, stripper!Cas, stripper!fic, typical kind of heartbreak, working man!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-08 01:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3190448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglecastiel/pseuds/mugglecastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak is a stripper and is one of the most desired workers at the gay strip club "The Dirty Angels." It's his way of paying his way through college.<br/>Dean Winchester is the CEO of an up-and-coming company. His steady income is slowly growing, as is the company.<br/>Dean wanders into the strip club one day in search of a good time and meets Angel. They immediately hit it off and things progress from there, but what happens when they get more serious?<br/>What would happen if Dean's secret stripper beau is exposed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, okay. This is my first time writing anything like this, and frankly, I'm proud of it so far. I'm not so good at the sex scenes, I'll admit that, but I'm hoping this helps with that. If they just get worse, I'll take them out.  
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this! It's going to be quite the trip.  
> \--title from the Britney Spears song of the same name--

Lime and peppermint... That's what Green Eyes smelled like to  Castiel . He knew it was probably some kind of cheap cologne, the kind that all of the guys that came in here wore, but for some reason it was alluring with this guy.

Castiel  smirked and adjusted himself in Green  Eyes's  lap, licking his lips and watching him speak carefully. 

"So, what's your name, anyway?" Green Eyes was getting a little friendly.  Castiel  could work with that.

"I told you, I have to keep anonymous," he mumbled, leaning close to the guy's ear so that he could be heard over the music. "Just call me Angel."

"Angel. Okay. I guess I'll stick with that." The guy's hand smoothed  Castiel's  hair and he grinned.  Castiel  toyed with the collar of the guy's shirt. The same calloused hand pressed against the back of  Castiel's  neck, spreading warmth down the rest of  Castiel's  back. "You can call me Dean."

"Will do, Green Eyes,"  Castiel  replied. He grinned when Dean laughed. "Come on, why don't we go do a little bit more? The private rooms are right back there..."  Castiel  let his eyes shift to the back and he saw Dean's eyes scoping him out when he looked back. 

Cas  knew he was irresistible, but this was ridiculous. Dean had checked him out so many times, including when he was dancing a few hours before (when more guys were in), and had done nothing. It was pushing  Castiel's  buttons, and that was not the way he wanted to be pushed. 

"Maybe," Dean whispered. Not even a second later,  Castiel  felt breath ghost against his neck, a welcome warm puff of air compared to the drafty club. He tilted his head a little and tugged on Dean's collar. Wet lips pressed against his neck and he felt a soft moan building up in his chest. It was all instinct- this was  Castiel's  job. Please the guys, get the money, give part of it to the cash register, pocket the rest. Routine.

As Dean kissed at his neck,  Castiel  opened his eyes and looked around the club. There weren't too many on the floor today, nor were there many patrons.  Cas \- Angel- and Gadreel- King (The worst name for a stripper ever, in  Castiel's  opinion.)- were the only workers on the floor tonight, and Gadreel had already gotten his guy back in the private rooms.  Castiel  was still working on Dean, and it was totally unfair. Usually, he had his men back there and naked in five minutes. 

Gadreel walked out from the back with a grin on his face and a wad of cash in his hands, and as soon as he got to the cash register, the bell on the door rang to announce the entrance of another patron. Gadreel caught  Castiel's  eye from across the floor and laughed, leaning over the counter to welcome the guy.  Castiel  knew exactly what he was saying. 

Castiel  smiled and tightened his grip on Dean's collar, tugging on it again. "Come on, baby, let's go back there. Get away from this."

Finally Dean agreed. He smiled against  Castiel's  neck and shifted slightly to stand up.  Castiel  slid off of his lap slowly, taking his hand and grinning. Finally. 

Dean's hand was warm in  Castiel's  as they started their trek to the back,  Castiel  glancing over his shoulder every few seconds. He could feel Dean's eyes on his lace covered ass and smirked again, licking his lips. A rush of adrenaline pushed through his bloodstream when Dean's free hand reached out and snapped the elastic band of the lace. He grinned and tugged a little harder on Dean's hand when they reached the entrance of the hallway. Doors peppered the walls around them and  Castiel  let his hand wander over Dean's body a little, kissing at his jaw. "Come on, baby. Choose a room," he breathed in Dean's ear. "It doesn't matter which one." 

Then  Cas  heard a shout from the floor and a short clatter. He frowned and whispered "Be right back. Choose a room and leave the door open," then left Dean with a kiss on the neck and lingering touch. 

"You can't go back there without one of us!" Gadreel shouted at the guy who had walked in a few seconds earlier. "Excuse me, dude-"

"Dean!" The guy shouted. "Hurry your ass up and get out here." 

Castiel  frowned and sized up the guy. He was at least a few inches past six feet, thin frame covered in muscles. His hair hung down to his shoulders.  

"Hey, you,"  Castiel  barked, getting the guys attention. He crossed his arms over his bare chest when Tall Guy looked at him. "What do you want?"

"My fucking brother. He came in here and he's been in here for like three hours. He told me twenty minutes at most- he wanted a drink and to see what was happening." The guy turned when Dean stepped out from the hallway. 

Castiel  sighed. All of that work to have it go to waste. 

"Whatever, Sammy, we'll leave if you want to." Dean raised his hands by his shoulders. His eyes flickered over to  Castiel , who was looking at him sadly. 

"Good. Let's go." The guy- Sammy,  Castiel  guessed- hook his thumb over his shoulder. He turned around without another glance at  Castiel  or Gadreel and started for the door. 

Dean hurried over to  Castiel  and smiled, his hand lifting to his cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow. I promise, and I don't break my promises." He winked and let his other hand move down again, gripping  Castiel's  ass. 

Sammy cleared his throat, standing by the door.  Castiel  smiled back at Dean and let his hand brush up his thigh slowly. "Just a little glimpse of what you'll get tomorrow, Green Eyes. I'll be waiting." 

At that, Dean squinted slightly at  Castiel  and shook his head. He then turned around to leave. 

Castiel  ended up watching him walk away. Man, Green Eyes had a nice ass. 

Once the door was closed, Gadreel looked at him with a small smirk and rolled his eyes. 

Castiel  sighed and shook his head. "Leave it. I'm not even on the floor tomorrow, so he should have some fun trying to figure out how to get me in the back. I guess he's not meant for a quick fuck."  Castiel  shrugged, then smiled and lifted his chin a little. "Though he would have been a nice one. Hot as hell. He seemed to really like me, too."  Castiel  snickered, walking backstage with Gadreel. "Maybe I can make him jump through a few hoops." 

Gadreel laughed. "Man, it's fun being us," he sighed happily, holding the door open for  Castiel . 

Cas  laughed as well, reaching up as he spun into the room, taking Gadreel's crown and setting it on his own head when he stopped. "Hell yeah, it is." He grinned. "I mean, come on. Look at the cash."  Castiel  picked up the stack he'd collected during his dances early in the night, then the bit he'd gotten from guys in the back and waved it around a bit. The stack in his left hand- the one from his dances- was larger than the one in his right. He grinned and stuffed both of them into his messenger bag. Gadreel smiled and leaned against the door frame. 

"You came straight from school?" He asked. 

Castiel  looked up from where he was crouching. "Yeah. I had an early class."

"What time did you get off last night?"

Shrugging,  Castiel  closed the flap of his bag. "Three a.m., maybe?" 

"Leaving you with how much sleep?" 

A sigh left  Castiel's  lips. He didn't want to lie, but he knew that Gadreel would be mad at him if he told him that he'd gotten 45 minutes of sleep... He'd been busy working, though, both at the club and on his research paper. "A few hours." 

Gadreel scoffed. "Liar."

Castiel  sighed. "Fine, I got about 45 minutes." 

Gadreel shook his head. Ever since  Castiel  had come to the club a year ago, Gadreel had acted as his guardian of sorts. He'd shown him the ropes, introduced him to customers when he couldn't get any, even let  Castiel  stay with him in his house for a while after  Castiel  was kicked out of his parents' house for being gay and for being a stripper and selling sex. He'd been there for  Castiel  since the beginning- hell, he'd even really landed  Castiel  this job, and he was grateful as hell. "You need to take care of yourself,  Cas ."

"Hey, dude,"  Castiel  smirked slightly as he stood up. He gestured to the lace underwear he was wearing, then to the ones Gadreel was wear. "We're at work. It's not  Cas ."

Gadreel let out a long breath and smiled a little.  Castiel  considered it a victory. "Whatever, Angel. Just get your ass back out on the floor before I have to deal with another smoker."

Castiel  laughed and sauntered past Gadreel, placing the crown on his head again. "I'm off in an hour, King. You're going to have your hands full at that point."

***

It was around five o'clock the next day when  Castiel  was called from backstage to the front room. He groaned and rushed getting ready, tugging on the light blue panties and the stupid white lace robe that the owner of the club had decided his best workers would wear when on the floor at night. It tickled the back of his knees when  he walked and got in the way too often. Plus the drunker men would tug on it and pull him back to them when he tried to get up and walk away. 

When he got to the front, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Green Eyes," he greeted, hands on his hips. "You're back."

"I promised," Dean smiled, hands in his pockets. "I can wait, though. I just wanted to see you. Know that you were actually here, you know?"

Castiel  laughed, head tilting. This guy was adorable. "I get it. Come on, let's get you seated. I've got a dance in twenty minutes, but I can entertain you for a few minutes."  Castiel  held his hand out and Dean took it gingerly. 

Adam Lambert started playing over the speakers and  Castiel  rolled his eyes. When Gadreel walked onto stage, he shouted, "Kill 'em, King!" as loud as he could. Their eyes met and Gadreel smiled, eyes flicking to Dean before going back to  Castiel . 

Castiel  led Dean to a seat with a good view of the stage, feeling like he should treat him a little. He lowered himself into Dean's lap, smiling when Dean lifted his hand and gently hooked a finger under the lace of his robe. "This is a little new," Dean mused. 

"Little annoying too,"  Castiel  mumbled, but caught Dean's eyes. He batted his eyelashes. "You like it?"

Dean's hand smoothed over the fabric. "I'm not sure." His eyes lifted to  Castiel's . "It doesn't really go with your type well. I- uh- I mean it looks good on you, but..."

Castiel  laughed at Dean's stammering and played with his hair. "I get it," he whispered. 

Dean was blushing and it made  Castiel  grin even more. When Dean blamed it on the hot lights,  Castiel  did what he was trained to do- he asked if Dean wanted a drink. 

A minute later, he was back with Dean, leaning over the back of his seat and watching King finish his dance.  Castiel  smiled and winked at him as he walked off stage. "I've got to go," he whispered against Dean's ear. "I'll dance, make a round on the floor, then be right back over here. Be ready to continue what we started last night."

Dean smiled and nodded up at him.  Castiel  looked Dean over quickly before turning around and walking away, returning backstage. 

"What's my song?"  Castiel  asked Gadreel as he walked by him. 

"Britney. Leather and Lace." 

"You mean Lace and Leather?"  Castiel  asked, leaning down to look in the mirror. 

"Whatever the hell it is, it's Britney. Are you doing make up?"

"Thinking about it. Wonder what Green Eyes out there would think."

"Ah, who cares what he thinks," Balthazar commented from the seat beside  Castiel's  bag. "Do it if you feel like it."

"Maybe a little lipstick. I mean, it's Britney. I can't just let that slide."

Gadreel laughed and tossed him a tube of red lipstick. "Good luck, Angel. Want me to keep Green Eyes occupied?"

"Nah, I'll have him looking that way soon enough,"  Castiel  replied, voice softer as he pulled on the button up he usually wore when he stripped. "Just talk to him for a few minutes, then when you hear the song start, walk away, but keep tabs on his reaction."  Castiel  smiled and draped the tie loosely around his neck. "I want to know every detail."

Gadreel grinned at him. "Will do. Dazzle 'em, Britney."

Castiel  laughed and tugged on his black pants, tucking one shirt tail in and zipping them up, leaving the button undone. He smirked at himself in the mirror as he checked the outfit, then glanced over at Balthazar. 

"Lipstick too much?" he questioned.

Balthazar nodded, taking the tube from him. He raised his finger for  Castiel  to wait and smeared it on his lips in the mirror, then unbuttoned the lower buttons of  Castiel's  shirt. He let his lips drag a little against the skin on  Castiel's  stomach before kissing above his panty-line,  rebuttoning  the shirt. He then leaned forward and pressed his lips against the collar of  Castiel's  shirt, then his neck, jaw, and cheek. Finally, he smeared a little bit on the tip of his finger and slid it across  Castiel's  lower lip. After that, he pulled back and tilted his head as he assessed his work. 

"Much better," said the brit. "Go ahead and dazzle the bloody shit out of them."

Castiel  laughed and thanked Balthazar as he slid out of the dressing room, running for the curtain. He was a little late already. As soon as he got there, he allowed himself a moment to try and catch his breath before giving the cue that said he was ready to walk out.

As he walked out on stage,  Castiel  let his eyes wander over the crowd. Winks were directed at a few men, and when Britney Spears started to sing,  Castiel  reached up and tugged at his collar slightly. His hips swayed with the music. He crouched down in front of one guy, tapping his chin to make him look up, and grinned, rolling back up as he started to unbutton his shirt. Smirk plastered on his face, he continued through his dance. 

The chorus hit and he pulled off his shirt, tossing it off to the side, knowing exactly who he threw it to. 

The song slowed down a little again, and he let his hands slide against the skin on his hips. When the song said 'makes a boy want to bite his lip,' he bit his lip and caught some guy's eyes, smirking when he saw the trance the guy was in. He rolled his hips and grinned, letting the zipper fall down. The pants dropped to his ankles and he kicked them off behind him as the chorus hit again. 

Castiel  ended the dance near the back of the stage, thumbs hooked in his waistband and gently tugging down as he walked. He stooped and picked up the pants after collecting the money guys wanted to give him, letting them do the typical thing and stuff it in his waistband. A few of them reached a little too close to the front and he slid the money out of their hands, winking at them and telling them they'd have to pay extra for more than what they'd just seen. Once that was over, he tossed his pants back in the dressing room, sliding the cash that he would receive into his bag and handing the rest over to the helper the owner had sent backstage. As he counted it,  Castiel  walked away and slid his robe on again, shivering at the tickle of the lace. 

He made his way around the floor, teasing guys and getting them drinks as he did, doing double his job but enjoying it. After all, the guys gave him tips when he did do double. They slid the money into his waistband. A grin remained on his face the entire time. 

Finally, he made it back to Dean. 

Dean smiled at him and held up the white shirt.  Castiel  laughed and grabbed the shirt, tugging it on and grabbing Dean's hand. "Come on, come on! Before any other asshole tries to grab my ass."  Castiel  pulled Dean out of his seat and rushed him into the back, choosing the first empty room. 

Once they were in the room,  Castiel  closed the door and leaned against it, palms flat against the door. "You want to take my clothes off or do you want me to do it, Green Eyes?"

Those same green eyes looked him over before Dean stepped forward, peeling  Castiel's  hands off of the door and pulling him closer.  Castiel  smiled and kissed Dean's neck as the lipstick stained shirt and lace robe were peeled off of his torso, leaving him bare aside from the blue lace covering a small amount of skin. Dean's hands wandered around  Castiel's  body, his fingers sliding into  Castiel's  underwear from behind. 

When Dean tried to press his lips to  Castiel's ,  Castiel  avoided it and whispered against Dean's cheek. "I've got a policy, big guy. No kissing on the lips. Everywhere else is fine, but lips are a hell no. Just a little too romantic. This is fucking, and only fucking. You got that?"

"Got it," Dean rasped in reply, squeezing  Castiel's  ass. 

Castiel  bit his lip and let his own hands wander Dean's body, pushing the suit jacket off of his shoulders as Dean's lips teased at his neck. A moan dropped off of his lips as he pushed Dean back toward the bed, smiling slightly. Dean's fingernails gently dragged around  Castiel's  sides as he dropped to sit on the edge of the bed. 

Castiel  smirked and straddled Dean's lap, eyes narrowed. His lips lowered to Dean's neck again, testing the waters as he unbuttoned his shirt slowly and deliberately, letting his teeth dig into Dean's skin. When Green Eyes gasped and groaned long and low,  Castiel  knew he'd hit the spot. His lips wandered lower as he unbuttoned more of Dean's shirt, exposing new, unseen smooth skin.  Castiel  smiled and pushed his shirt off of his shoulders, grinding against his customer slowly and gently. Dean's head tilted back, lips parted, so  Castiel  continued. 

"Fuck-" Dean hissed.  Castiel  had let his hands drift down to undo Dean's slacks and let Dean's cock free as soon as possible. 

Castiel  laughed softly and shut Dean up with a finger to his lips. "Come on, baby. Hold out on me. Don't get too hard yet." 

"Kind of hard to do when I've got you-" Dean moaned as  Castiel  dipped two fingers into his waistline. "-doing that." 

Another laugh.  Castiel  kissed down Dean's chest as he pushed Dean back onto the bed fully, letting his own erection pin against Dean's. A shuddering gasp shook  Castiel's  body when Dean lifted his hips and they pushed together roughly. 

That's when  Castiel  turned into the slut he really was. He pushed against Dean's pants, kissing further down on Dean's body. His lips met Dean's waistband and  Castiel  licked his lips, only letting his breath brush against the thin material of Dean's boxers. "Fuck, Green Eyes..."  Castiel  hissed when a strong hand tangled in  Castiel's  hair. 

Castiel  made his way back up Dean's abdomen only after dragging his boxers off of him and discarding them on the floor. He let his lips crash against Dean's collarbone and moaned when Dean's hand pushed through into his own lace panties, finger teasing his hole gently. 

"Take them off," Dean demanded in a guttural groan. "Make a show of it. Give me a private one, baby." 

Castiel  smirked slightly, breathing his words against Dean's ear. "You want me to please you, baby? Give you a little private show, let you see the whole thing? If you want that you'll have to stop fingering me." 

Dean grinned and pulled his hands off of  Castiel  after a second, letting  Castiel  up on his knees. Dean dragged himself out from under  Castiel , leaning back against the wall to enjoy the view. 

Castiel  licked his lips and hooked his thumbs in his waistband, making eye contact with Dean as he did. The lust in Dean's eyes made him lose his breath and made his heart start pounding faster than before. His thumbs pushed down slowly, hips rotating slightly.  Castiel  blinked slowly, biting his lip when the panties were down far enough to let his cock free. He heard Dean moan and smirked. 

"Save that for me, Green Eyes,"  Castiel  breathed, opening his eyes to see Dean's hand wrapped around himself. "That is why I'm here, isn't it?" 

Dean licked his lips and breathed his next words. They were words that  Cas  never thought would affect him like they did. "Get the fucking condom and get over here, Angel. Before I come untouched." 

Castiel  blinked and swallowed thickly, standing up and kicking off his panties as he did. He opened the drawer in the  bedstand  next to Dean, gesturing for Dean to grab the size he needed. 

Dean did as he needed, ripping the package open with his teeth and almost giving  Castiel  a heart attack as he did. 

After that was done and protection was in place,  Castiel  slowly crawled over Dean and smiled. "Treat me nice and good, baby." He lowered slowly, lips parting and eyes closing as he did. After a second, he nodded and Dean started moving, slow and long at first. 

Within seconds it was rough. True fucking.  Castiel  gasped every few seconds, not only for breath but because- fuck- Dean knew the spots well. He practically split  Castiel  in two, driving himself in with unadulterated force. His cock hit the spot and pleasure racked through  Castiel's  body, pleasure and exhilaration in his veins. A wordless shout came from his lips as he came, Dean following not long after. 

"Holy shit,"  Castiel  gasped, unable to come up with any other words. 

That had been... amazing. Even after a few minutes of recuperation, he was still having trouble breathing and his legs were numb. 

"I don't think I'll ever walk again," he teased Dean, leaning back from his shoulder. Dean was leaning back against the wall, head tipped back, trying to catch his own breath. He breathed a laugh at  Castiel's  antics and lifted on hand to run it through his hair.  Castiel  slid off of his lap and let himself lay down, legs around Dean's waist still, on the single bed, his head close to the foot of it. "I should get with you more often."

Dean's hands curved around  Castiel's  thighs, warm compared to the cool air of the room. The gesture made  Castiel's  eyes open and he could see Dean was still in the same position as before, just with his thumbs massaging circles into  Castiel's  thighs. It made  Castiel  smile a little. He loved when the guys tried to take care of him afterward.  Castiel  closed his eyes again, letting Dean massage the feeling back into his legs. 

Once that was done, he sat up and kissed Dean's cheek. His batted his eyelashes and held Dean's chin in his hand, silently enjoying the stubble that scratched against his thumb and forefinger. "Thank you for the good time, Green Eyes." 

"No problem," Dean whispered, studying  Castiel's  face, "Angel." Then he scoffed. "Ironic name?"

"You got that right,"  Castiel  grinned. "I feel bad for doing this, but you  gotta  pay up. House fee is a hundred."

"Hundred? Shit, man, that's a lot."

"The finest for the finest,"  Castiel  whispered, gently swatting Dean's cheek. "You'd better have it ready for when I'm done getting dressed." He slid off the bed, pausing for a second as he let himself adjust to standing again. He picked up his underwear and slid them back on, then his shirt and robe. He then picked up the money that had been in his waistband. Once he turned around, he saw Dean standing there in all his glory, boxer-briefs only, holding a few bills for  Castiel . 

Castiel  took the money and counted it- ten twenties. 

"Keep the extra," Dean told him.  Castiel  just grinned and thanked him. "I'll definitely be coming back."

Castiel  left the room first, a grin on his face, cheeks flushed. He deposited the required hundred into the cash register up front, and then headed into the back again to put the rest away. As he was walking by, Gadreel looped his arm through  Castiel's  and walked with him. 

"You had some fun, didn't you?"

Castiel  smirked. "A slut doesn't kiss and tell."

"Yes, they do. That's why they're called sluts." Gadreel followed  Castiel  into the 'dressing room' type area. 

Castiel  laughed. "Whatever, King. Yeah, I had some fun."

"I already knew that. Jesus Christ, you're a loud one." 

A blush covered  Castiel's  face. "I know I am. But, fuck, King, if you'd seen that guy and if you knew what he could do!"

"Oh, I've got an idea."

"Dude,"  Castiel  stood again, waving the few bills in the air. "He paid me- me- two hundred. Hundred for the house, hundred for me. That's more than anyone's ever paid me! He was a good fuck too." 

Gadreel laughed again. "I bet. You've got something in for you, though."

"Whatever," Castiel grinned, standing up again. "Let's get back out there and show these guys what they can have if they pay enough." 


	2. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful!!! I didn't expect to get so many hits or Kudos in the first day of posting that first chapter. Here's the second one, and I'll definitely hurry up with writing the next few! Thank you for reading! :-)

Sunshine. Castiel hated it. He hated it with a passion that went over his average hatred for things like assholes at the club, cheating men and women, and bitter tasting things.   
So, in the morning when it was pouring through the window of his small apartment, he groaned and rolled over to cover his head with his pillow. Then his alarm clock started going off and he cursed, rolling out of bed and stumbling to the bathroom with his eyes closed. He went through his morning routine: showering under the stream of steaming water, washing his face clean of whatever make up had been left over last night, drying off and surveying his body for any marks of the men from last night, and finally actually getting ready for the day. When he reached step three, he found a reddish mark on his neck that he presumed was from Dean. It made him smile a little.   
He put gel in his hair in an attempt to tame it, but it didn't work as usual. It was a mop either way, but looked more deliberate when Castiel put gel in it. He then brushed his teeth, downed an ibuprofen, and dressed in a button down plaid, t-shirt, and jeans. Smiling at himself in the mirror, he slid his bag over his shoulder and rushed out the door.   
Castiel stopped at the kiosk on the college campus as he made his way to class, actually early for once. He paid the guy with wadded up dollars from the previous night, money that he'd luckily forgotten to remove from his bag. As he walked to class, Castiel sipped the coffee and smiled at people, nodding hello.   
To everyone on campus, he was just some guy who went to the same school as them. He wasn't a slut or a faggot- he was Castiel. It felt nice to have a bit of refuge sometimes.   
At least, it was refuge until he saw Dean. When he caught a glimpse of the guy, he cursed under his breath and ducked his head, praying Dean hadn't seen him. "Please," he whispered, "please, God, don't let him see me. This is supposed to be my day off!"   
A hand grabbed Castiel's arm. He cursed again.   
"Hey! Angel." Dean smirked down at him. "I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on."   
God dammit. "Hey," Castiel smiled and lied. "Yeah, it's not Angel here. I'm not at work and I'm going to be late for class if I don't hurry. Sorry. I wish I could stay and chat."   
"Oh..." Dean seemed a little let down. Castiel sighed. "Okay. Good luck in class."   
"Thanks. Maybe next time we meet we can make some plans."   
"Sounds good," Dean smiled again, leaning against the wall. "I'll see you around."   
"See you," Castiel smiled and walked away, sipping his coffee as he went. Fucking hell, that was unexpected. He tossed his empty cup into the trash can after he was far enough away from Dean.   
A few hours later, he was finished with his classes for the day and headed home, using the rest of his day to work on his research paper for his Psychobiology class. When the clock hit two p.m., seven hours after he woke up, Castiel finished the last sentence of his paper. He then spent the next hour revising and editing the paper, then took a nap. He woke up and started on his reading for Psych 350, finishing that around six p.m..   
As usual, his day off had been full of classwork.   
Castiel sighed and settled back into bed after ordering food from the Chinese place he lived next to, an old romantic comedy playing on the television at the foot of hid bed, keeping him company.   
***   
The next morning, Castiel hurried to class after a long morning of rereading and then took a bus to the club. He rushed in the back door, unbuttoning his shirt as he did, kicking it closed behind him. It was around seven p.m..   
"I'm back, assholes," he greeted, taking Gadreel's crown as he walked into the dressing room. "Did you miss me?"   
"Oh, of course," Balthazar rolled his eyes. "We missed your constant taunting."   
"I know you did," Castiel laughed and straddled a chair. The club wasn't opening until eight tonight because they were having a 'special' night. "What's tonight's theme?"   
"Crossdressing," Gadreel replied, shoving a dress bag into Castiel's arms. "Have fun trying to get that thing on."   
Castiel rolled his eyes. "Come on, King, you know I'm the best with dresses." Gadreel took his crown back, placing it on his mirror and smirking.   
"But you're not good with make up," Balthazar interjected, "so that's where I come in. I'm going to paint your faces tonight, and you're going to bloody love it."   
Both Castiel and Gadreel groaned.   
"Oh, shut the hell up. I'll be able to stick with your names, asshats."   
Castiel grinned and stood up, peeling his shirt off and draping it over the back of the chair. "Let me guess, my make up is all light and glittery. King's is dark reds and golds."   
"How'd you know?"   
"Psychology major, motherfuckers. You said it's related to our names. It's simple." Castiel spoke as he stripped off his jeans and underwear, then tugged on his lace underwear that he wore for work. When he opened up the dress bag, he cursed. "There is no way I am wearing this."   
"Requirements," Gadreel chirped as he tried to zip up the dark red dress he was being forced to wear. "It's- fuck- our job. You can't just opt out."   
"I very well can!" Castiel protested. "I am not wearing this garish, glittery, gross dress!"   
"You very bloody well are," Balthazar hissed, pointing a finger at him. If I have to wear this hot pink monstrosity, you're wearing that gold one."   
"Cas, come on," Gadreel sighed, trying to adjust the strapless dress. "It's got blue lace on the top, if that sweetens the deal. Makes your baby blues pop. We all know that you use those eyes to lure guys in."   
Castiel sighed angrily and ripped the dress out of the bag. "Outrage," he muttered, stepping into the dress and pulling it up. He slid the sleeves up his arms and cursed again as he zipped the back up. The skirt of the dress was gold and glittery tulle, similar to a tutu, and went down around his knees. The gold extended into the torso of the dress, only in a different, more solid fabric, and ended in a sweetheart type cut. Powder blue lace extended up Castiel's chest to his collarbone, where it cut off and fanned out to his shoulders, then cut off before reaching his arms. "I look like a fucking ten year old girl."   
"Oh, shut the fuck up. Switch with me if you don't like it that much," Balthazar grumbled. "I'd rather have that, anyway. This hot pink cotton tube is killing me."   
"Oh, fuck no," Castiel raised his hands, avoiding Balthazar. "There is no way I would ever be caught dead in that dress. Just do my fucking make up."   
Balthazar grinned and nodded, forcing Castiel to sit down in his chair. Then he went to town. When Castiel finally got to see his newly painted face, he barely looked like himself. White and light pink eyeshadow covered both of his eyelids, with white eyeliner surrounding his eyes. Mascara covered his eyelashes, defining them and giving them length and volume. Lip gloss covered his lips, painting them a soft, shimmering pink.   
"Damn," he mumbled. "Thanks, Balthazar. Now I look my part as a whore."   
"Isn't that the point?" Gadreel asked, sitting down in the chair after Castiel stood up. "He paints our faces."   
"That is true. Since I'm the first one done, do you want me to fix up the rooms?"   
"Go ahead. Make sure they're all in order- signs on the doors, all that stuff."   
After Castiel did that, it was time to open. He was assigned to the floor all night tonight, so he spent his time on guys' laps, flirting, getting paid, and getting them drinks.   
At one point in the night, when Castiel had almost snagged a guy, King came over and smirked at Castiel. "You've got a request," was all he told him.   
"Can it wait? This cutie here and I were about to go in the back." Castiel smiled at the guy, shifting in his lap. It practically made the guy beg for release.   
"I suppose I could keep him occupied, but I don't think he likes me much. He's asking for you, Angel."   
"Keep him occupied, King," Castiel grinned, sliding off of Blue Hair's lap and taking hold of his tie. "I won't be long."   
Blue Hair stood with him, following him into the back. He paid after five minutes, and Castiel left him with a lip gloss kiss on the cheek, counting the money he'd been given. One hundred and twenty dollars. Hundred for the house, twenty for Cas. He quickly deposited the requirement into the register, then put the rest in his bag in the back, adding a bit to his lipgloss and using his finger to add more powder to his eyes.   
He got back out there and found King, asking him where the request was. All King did was mutter something about how he'd seated him and then been blown off. He mentioned something about green as he pointed to the corner and Castiel sighed.   
"Of course it's him. I swear, he's stalking me." Castiel shook his head and put his best smile on, sauntering over to Dean and, of course, taking a seat in his lap as he greeted him. "Hey, Green Eyes. You're back."   
"Yeah, I am," Dean grinned, his hand lifting into Castiel's hair. "You're looking good tonight."   
"Liar," Castiel smirked. "I look like a little girl."   
Dean laughed after that. "Yeah, you kind of do. I was just saying it to be polite, but now that you've said it..."   
Castiel laughed as well, swinging his feet off of the side of the chair. "Thanks for the confidence boost."   
"Hey, at least your eyes look good," Dean suggested, smiling. "Your eyelashes are beautiful."   
"Yeah, they definitely out-do the gold tulle," Castiel smiled. "All I need are wings and a halo and I'm literally an angel."   
Dean grinned and played with his hair. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you've got the looks and you've got the personality."   
Castiel toyed with Dean's collar. "Thank you."   
"No problem," Dean mumbled, letting his nose brush against Castiel's neck. "What do you say we head to the back?"   
Castiel smirked and leaned toward Dean. "You know the fee's still the same, right?"   
"Yeah," Dean mumbled. "I've got more than enough."   
Castiel raised an eyebrow and slid off of Dean's lap, snatching up his hand as he did. They made their way into the back and Castiel let Dean choose the room. He chose the same one they'd been in before.   
"I've got a proposition," Dean said as soon as Castiel closed the door.   
"Extra is extra," Castiel sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.   
"It's not much," Dean smiled, taking a seat on the bed. "I just want to talk to you instead of fucking."   
Castiel frowned. "You want to pay one hundred dollars to talk to a whore, huh? That's fucking insane."   
"You blow me off every other time," Dean shrugged. "Look, I'll put the money on the table and you can get it when we're done. Is that okay? That way you can end the conversation whenever you'd like."   
All Castiel could do was agree and sit down on the bed with Dean. After all, it was his job to please the guys, and this would obviously please Dean. "Just don't ask what my real name is."   
Dean smiled at him. "I won't. I understand that it's confidential. It's just chatting. Harmless." He looked at the corners of the room. "Are there cameras in here?"   
"No," Castiel sighed. "I keep trying to convince them to put them in, but they refuse. I've even used good points."   
"Like...?"   
"Murder. Someone could be murdered back here and they wouldn't know."   
Dean laughed. "You know, you're an interesting guy, Angel. You definitely have some different ideas."   
"They're really kind of regular," Castiel smiled, crossing his legs to be a little more comfortable. He saw Dean glance down at his crotch and smirked a little. "See anything you like?"   
"Nothing I haven't seen before," Dean teased, looking back up. A smile was plastered on his face. "You're in college."   
"Well, you did happen to cross paths with me as I was going to my class the other day." Castiel raised an eyebrow. The dress rubbed against his chest, making it a little uncomfortable. He squirmed slightly. "Can you- uh- pass me that pillow?" he asked.   
After he gestured to the pillow behind Dean, Dean passed it to him and asked him another question. "What's your major?"   
"Psychology," Castiel sighed, putting the pillow in his lap and adjusting it so it covered his lap.   
"Analyze me."   
Laughing, Castiel picked at the edge of the pillow. It was falling apart from the friction placed against it in the amount of time it had been used. "It's not quite that simple, Green Eyes. You're playing me up."   
"Am I? Why isn't it simple? Can you not ask me a few questions and make a guess at my personality?"   
Castiel scoffed. "You're in a fucking strip club, Green Eyes. All I know about you is that you're a horny guy who can't find someone to sleep with him without paying them. Maybe you're a mite lonely."   
Dean smirked and looked down. "Maybe it's both. Mind if I smoke?"   
"Only if I can bum one."   
Laughing, Dean reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a pack of Camels. "You smoke?"   
"Once in a blue moon," Castiel accepted the cigarette Dean shook out of the pack and held out to him. "Light?"   
Dean placed one between his lips and pulled a silver, engraved lighter out of his pocket, flicking the top so the fire ignited. He held it out to Castiel first, who leaned forward with the cigarette between his lips. Dean cupped his hand around the edge and held the lighter until the paper lit. He then did the same with his, looking down as he did.   
Castiel took a drag of his and coughed slightly, eyes closed. He wasn't used to it yet. When he opened his eyes again, Dean was smiling at him fondly. "You definitely don't do it often."   
"Maybe a few times a year, once a month. It's if I'm in the mood," Castiel coughed, then tried taking another breath of smoke. "It's not healthy, you know."   
"Oh, I know. My baby bro harps on me all the time for it," Dean said as he exhaled smoke. "There anywhere I can tap this out?"   
Castiel gestured to the ash tray on the table beside the bed. "Lots of guys like to smoke in here. Craving a cigarette after sex, you know? Pick it up and set it between us." Dean did as Castiel said and tapped his own out at the same time. With the next drag, he coughed again. Dean gave him the same fond smile. "Stop looking at me like that," Castiel smiled.   
"Like what?" Dean raised his eyebrow. "I'm not looking at you any differently than normal."   
"You're staring at me with this fond look," Castiel chuckled. "Stop it, you ass."   
Dean grinned and looked down as he tapped out his cigarette. "You're the ass," Dean laughed, lifting the cigarette and setting it in the corner of his mouth again. "I've got another question."   
"Shoot," Castiel smirked, licking his lips and setting the cigarette on them again, inhaling slowly. He held the smoke for a second before exhaling.   
"You got a boyfriend, pretty boy?" Dean mumbled, the cigarette stuck in the corner of his mouth. Castiel could barely tear his eyes from the wobbling stick. "He must be jealous of all these guys that get a piece of you."   
Castiel shook his head. "No, no boyfriend in the picture," he looked down. "Never really has been." Examining the cigarette in detail, he smiled a little. "Lonely all my life."   
"All your life, huh?" Dean sighed, and Castiel felt the smoke washing over him. "Sorry. I know how you feel, though, Angel."   
"Please, don't say that. It only makes it worse."   
"Sorry," Dean whispered now, leaning forward and letting his hand rest on Castiel's knee, just beside the pillow. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Sometimes knowing that someone else feels that way makes it a little more bearable, but I get it. Let's move on to a lighter topic."   
Castiel looked up and smiled a little, batting his eyelashes. "You're different, Green Eyes."   
"So are you, Angel." Dean tapped out the rest of his cigarette. "You know, I haven't put the money on the table over there, yet."   
"I know," Cas admitted, still smiling. "Hey, Green Eyes?"   
"Yeah?"   
"Can we fuck?"   
"Angel-"   
"Let's make it like last time. Let's make it better than last time." Castiel leaned forward. "I think I deserve a little compensation for wearing this skimpy little dress."   
Dean laughed and met him halfway, their noses rubbing together lightly. "Compensation?"   
"Hell yeah," Castiel whispered, letting his lips drag against Dean's soft, pliant ones. Not a kiss, but something like it. It didn't break the policy that Castiel carried. "Come on- fuck me. Nice and deep. Hard and fast. Just fucking tear me apart, Dean," he breathed, biting Dean's lip. He let go after a second. "Leave me a mess. Make me scream."   
Dean smirked and pushed his cigarette into the ashes, putting it out. He then took Castiel's and smashed it, moved the ash tray, and grabbed Castiel's hips. He pulled him onto his lap and Castiel started leaving a trail of shimmering kisses down Dean's neck, forgetting his worries from before.


	3. The Date

Castiel woke screaming, back arched off of the bed, clutching the sheets in his fists. When he realized what he was doing, he dropped back down onto his back and grunted, hand wandering under the sheets.  
"Fuck," he whispered, hand curling around his aching hardness. "Fucking Green eyes. Fucking haunting me. Fucking- me-" His teeth were clenched together and he felt himself reaching the end. "Fuck- Green Eyes-"  
With the thought of Dean moving inside of him, hot breath against his neck, fingers leaving bruises on his hips, green eyes looking into his own, Castiel came.  
Violently lurching off of the bed, Castiel called out Dean's name and gasped for breath, practically convulsing. He was surprised he wasn't having a heart attack. "Fuck," he repeated over and over, finishing. He ended up laying in bed on his back, staring at the ceiling in a daze.  
Castiel had never had a dream about a customer. He'd never just sat down and talked with one before, either.  
Dean was different. Dean was something. He actually seemed to care about what Castiel had to say and seemed to care about his happiness. Of course, that could have been because if he didn't he wouldn't get laid, but still. It was the thought that counted. But, other than that, he was decent. He asked about Castiel's life, teased him, seemed to actually like him as a person.  
Yeah, Castiel still saw him as a little bit of a stalker, but that was fine. Just as long as he didn't suddenly show up at his apartment, looking for a nice quick fuck without paying, Castiel was fine. He could like Dean as much as he wanted and could play with him as much as he wanted.  
Speaking of playing... Castiel smiled to himself. "I've got a date."  
Friday night could not come any faster.  
***  
Dean showed up at the club on Thursday night, smiling and requesting Castiel. "Just a quick chat," he'd said, according to Balthazar.  
"He can have a bloody quick chat with me any day," Balthazar muttered as he followed Castiel up front.  
Unsure of what else he could do, Castiel just laughed. When he reached Dean, he smiled up at him. "What's the word, Green Eyes?"  
"I just wanted to clear things with you," Dean admitted. "Not to mention wanting to see you back in your normal work attire..."  
Castiel laughed. "Take a nice, long look. It's going to look different tomorrow."  
"Oh, it will, will it?" Dean grinned. "Okay. Seven o'clock."  
"On the dot. That's when I get off."  
"Diner down the street?"  
"Perfect."  
"And then we will...?"  
"See where it goes from the diner," Castiel nodded. His head tilted a little and he bent his leg, leaning to the right. "Are you sure you don't want to stick around tonight? The guys out here are such dicks. I wouldn't object to seeing you get in a fight with one for touching me wrong."  
Laughing, Dean leaned forward and whispered into Castiel's ear. "Let's save that for after I become your boyfriend, Angel."  
"I'm going to have to tell you my real name tomorrow, won't I?"  
Dean's lips ghosted against his earlobe. "No, you don't have to. I think I like the mystery."  
"You think you like it?"  
"Yeah," Dean grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow, Angel. Seven o'clock."  
"Seven o'clock," Castiel repeated, chewing on the inside of his lip. "I'll be waiting outside." Then he turned around and walked away, knowing Dean's eyes were on his ass.  
***  
Friday night and Castiel was standing outside of the club, dressed in a simple blue button down tucked into his best jeans.  
It was seven o'clock on the dot and Dean wasn't there yet. Castiel could put up with being a few minutes late, that was fine, but if Dean was more than half an hour late... Castiel leaned against the telephone pole and adjusted the strap of his bag, pulling it further up on his shoulder.  
A low rumble got Castiel's attention and he looked up at the road. A black car was racing down the road toward the club, toward Castiel. It finally stopped in front of Castiel and Dean leaned out of the window.  
"Get in, Angel. I'm driving." Dean grinned up at him. His smile was a welcome familiarity.  
Castiel smiled and walked around the car quickly, sliding into the passenger seat beside Dean. "Hey," he greeted, lifting his bag off of his shoulder and setting it on the floor between his feet.  
"Hey," Dean grinned, reaching over to toy with Castiel's hair. For some reason, he did that every time they saw each other, and Castiel knew it. He wondered if Dean knew it too. "How are you?"  
"A little sore, but content," Castiel admitted, leaning his head into Dean's hand slightly. "How are you?"  
"Happy and nervous." Dean looked at him out of the corner of his eye as he pulled into a parking space in front of the diner. "More happy than nervous, though."  
"Good," Castiel smiled and lifted his hand to take Dean's in his own, "you should be happy."  
Dean just laughed and shook his head as he cut the engine, leaning toward Castiel in the evening light, just to kiss his cheek.  
Somehow, Castiel was a little disappointed.  
The disappointment evaporated when Dean opened his door for him and held out his hand to help him out of the car. Castiel took his hand and felt something wash over him. It was something he'd never felt before, something he'd never thought he'd feel. Happiness and warmth washed through his body in an instant, making his hand tighten on Dean's as he slid off of the seat and onto his feet. Due to an unknown reason, Castiel's legs wobbled and he felt himself trip on the first step he took.  
Dean caught him, arm flying up to wrap under Castiel's armpits and help him back onto his feet fully. "You okay, Angel?" Dean whispered, still holding Castiel a little closer than necessary. Not that Castiel was complaining, of course. Dean was warm and tall.  
"Yeah," Castiel whispered back, glancing around them. No one was looking. His eyes moved back to Dean's. His young green eyes were so hopeful and happy. "I'm okay, Green Eyes. Let's go inside."  
They didn't move, though. Castiel couldn't look away from Dean, and Dean couldn't look away from Castiel. After a second, Castiel caught himself leaning toward Dean, about halfway to kissing Dean, and pulled back with a small cough.  
"Y-yeah," Dean smiled slightly. "Yeah. Let's go inside." He let his arms fall from under Castiel's, hand curving around Castiel's slowly.  
Once they were inside, Dean let Castiel choose where they sat. They ended up at a seat overlooking the street so that Castiel could look out the window and see the passing people. Dean had laughed at the choice, calling it a little cute, and sat across from Castiel on the cracked red plastic of the booth's seats. His forearms rested on the table, hands toying with the menu, distracting Castiel. Finally he smiled and glanced down, chewing on his lip.  
A waitress came over and took their orders a few minutes later. A beer for Dean, coffee for Castiel, and two orders of burgers and fries. Both men made eye contact and laughed once the waitress left. Castiel's foot brushed against Dean's gently as he shifted and he caught the twitch of Dean's lips.  
The waitress came back and gave them their drinks, telling them their food would be right out and winking at Dean. Castiel felt a small amount of jealousy swell in his stomach and bit his lip.  
Well, that was new.  
"So, Angel," Dean started, lifting his beer to his lips, "how did you end up in the business of selling?" He looked up and met Castiel's eyes.  
"I'm not sure I should tell you my deep, dark past on our first date." Castiel looked down as he stirred his coffee with his spoon slowly. Past matters shouldn't be brought up on the first date; Castiel had learned that the hard way. "It's better to wait and see if you like the future plans before wading into that pool."  
Laughter came from across the table. "Come on, Angel, it's not like its the first time we're meeting and talking or anything. We've known each other for few weeks." Dean leaned forward a little, fingers gently curving around Castiel's as he set his spoon down. Through his eyelashes, Castiel could see Dean's green eyes trained on his, ready to do that thing where they get what they want with one look.  
"Fine," Castiel breathed, adjusting his hand in Dean's. "My parents found out I was gay and kicked me out of the house. I lived on the streets for a while, then came across the club and applied for a job. I obviously got the job, and when Ga- King, I mean, found out that I was on the streets, he took me in. Gave me a place to stay, showed me the ropes, and sent me on my merry way. I finished my first year of college with money from the club, and now I'm in my third year and still going strong. That's the whole pretty picture."  
"Doesn't seem so pretty," Dean said and smiled at Castiel. "I've got a general understanding of how that could be, though, my friend."  
Castiel smiled and took a sip of his coffee. "So, what's your secret? Why're you wandering into strip joints and hooking up with the guys?"  
"Just not able to find a guy." Dean shrugged, leaning forward. "That first day I wandered in there, though, I had a lucky feeling in my gut. It ended up being right."  
Castiel felt his cheeks heat up. "Shut it, Green Eyes," he laughed, bringing his mug to his lips again as the waitress came back, bearing their food.  
"You know," Dean started after the waitress walked away, popping a fry in his mouth. He spoke around it. "My name is Dean."  
"I know." Castiel grinned, picking up his burger. "I just like using a nickname."  
"Whatever, Angel," Dean laughed. "You're just unable to remember it."  
"Oh? You think so?"  
"Yeah. You probably get so many names and numbers every day that you got mine lost in the rumble."  
"Dean Winchester," Castiel replied, looking down at his burger as he did. "1-866-907-3235."  
When he looked up again, Dean was staring at him in awe. "Damn-"  
"I know, I'm amazing. Shut up and eat, Green Eyes." He grinned, kicking Dean's shin under the table.  
"Yet all I know about you is that your stage name is Angel and you're a psychology major at Kansas State..." Dean trailed off, shaking his head. "Fucking insane."  
Around half an hour later, both men were finished and Dean paid (He had refused to let Castiel pay, no matter how much he wanted to.) They left the diner holding hands, acting like idiots as they walked back to the car, telling each other the worst jokes they could think of and laughing hysterically.  
They reached the car and Dean grinned down at Castiel. "Want to make this last a little longer?" He stepped in closer to Castiel, almost pinning him against the car. Castiel looked up into his eyes, grinning back.  
"What did you have in mind?" His voice was soft as he leaned back against the car, hands lifting to Dean's shirt collar. Dean was dressed nicely, despite this being a stupid little casual date. He was wearing a collared shirt tucked into his slacks and a green tie. "Tell me." Castiel tilted his head a little to the side.  
"Just heading out of town, maybe. Sitting in the grass in the country on the side of the road, or maybe at the park," Dean whispered, still smiling, "watching the stars."  
Castiel let his hands run down Dean's chest. Fingers toying with his tie, Castiel looked back up into Dean's eyes.  
"Or maybe we can go to my place," Dean tried, leaning forward. He was towering over Castiel. "That may be a little more... fun."  
Castiel narrowed his eyes at Dean and raised an eyebrow. "Your place sounds fun," he admitted, hand brushing against Dean's. "Let's do that."  
Ten minutes later, they were pulling into the driveway of a two-story white house. Castiel looked out the window with a smile.  
"Living nice, huh?" Castiel asked, looking back at Dean. All Dean did was laugh. When Castiel spotted a balcony on the second floor, he chuckled. "Maybe we can watch the stars after all."  
Both men got out of the car once Dean parked it, Castiel jumping on Dean as they walked toward the house. Dean laughed and lifted him up, giving him a piggy-back ride up to the front door. Once there, he dropped him back onto his feet and unlocked the door, ushering Castiel into the dark and empty house first.  
Lights flickered to life and Castiel was almost instantly impressed. Everything was a little new-age, all geometric and vibrant. The furniture was simple, black and chrome, but the decorations of the house were vibrant reds, blues, greens, and yellows. It all complimented the surrounding pieces. The walls were simple and white, too. Pictures decorated them, seeming haphazardly placed, yet organized. The stairs were to Castiel's right, a stack of wooden steps.  
Dean took his bag and hung it on a hook next to the door, then draped an arm over Castiel's shoulders. "Would you like a drink, or should we head upstairs?" Breath brushed against Castiel's ear and he shivered. "I could go for either."  
Castiel smiled and closed his eyes, licking his lips. "I could go for both," he whispered. "Why don't we get a drink, and then head upstairs and see where that takes us?"  
Dean smiled against Castiel's ear and pulled back, leaving his arm over Castiel's shoulders as he steered him into the kitchen. "Is whiskey okay? I mean, I have other alcohol, but-"  
"Whiskey is perfect," Castiel interrupted, leaning against the white tile counter. "Okay, I can't hold back anymore. What do you do for a living, Dean? How do you afford this and pay me so much every time you come to the club?"  
Dean licked his lips as he poured whiskey into two tumblers. "I'm the CEO of a company," Dean admitted. "No, I won't tell you what company right now. Secrets are kind of fun." He turned around, holding a glass out to Castiel.  
"How in hell don't you have men falling at your feet, begging you to be their fucking sugar daddy?" Castiel shook his head, taking the glass. "Jesus Christ. You're hot as fuck, loaded, and nice. I don't understand."  
Laughter met Castiel's ears. "Who the hell knows?" Dean was grinning at him. "I've got women worshipping the very ground I walk on, but I don't prefer women."  
Castiel laughed and held one hand out to Dean. "Let's go upstairs, Mr. CEO." A warm hand curled around his and led him upstairs and down the hallway, straight into a huge bedroom. Castiel let his eyes wander again, taking in the blue and white bedroom.  
"I like the colors," Castiel mumbled, being completely honest. The cyan and royal blue somehow complimented each other, and contrasted perfectly with the white. It looked even better when Castiel spotted the French doors leading out onto the small balcony.  
"Thank you." Dean's lips brushed against Castiel's neck. "Go ahead and take a drink, Angel. I didn't do anything to it. Scout's honor."  
A smile spread on Castiel's lips. "I didn't think you did," he remarked, lifting the glass to his lips. The dark drink burned a trail down his throat. He set the drink down on the nightstand after another sip and tilted his head at Dean in the moonlight lit room. "Come on, Green Eyes."  
Dean took a few steps toward him after a second and smirked, dropping his glass on the table beside Castiel's. Hands settled on Castiel's hips and tugged him a little closer. "Eager, are we, Angel?" he whispered, leaning close. Their lips almost touched.  
"Hell yeah," Castiel whispered. "I'm sick of those other guys getting a taste of me. I want you." Lips dragging against Dean's neck, Castiel raised his hands to Dean's shoulders. "I want you to make me scream again, Dean. Make me scream like you do every time."  
Dean exhaled against Castiel's neck and it made the hair on the back of Castiel's neck stand on end. "I want to kiss you," Dean breathed, letting his lips brush against Castiel's skin as he pulled back to look into Castiel's eyes.  
"This isn't work, Dean," Castiel replied, hands moving to Dean's tie and tugging on it to loosen it. His eyes stayed on Dean's. "You can do whatever you'd like."  
Dean smiled and leaned in close, letting his nose brush against Castiel's. Their lips barely touched, yet it was intoxicating. The feeling was nothing like when their lips brushed in the middle of fucking. It was more intimate and sent a chill through Castiel's body.  
He wanted more.  
Inhaling through parted lips, Castiel tugged on Dean's tie to pull him closer. "Just kiss me, Green Eyes." His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back. He was growing impatient. "Kiss me and never stop."  
Lips crashed against Castiel's. Crashing was the only way it could be described. They crashed together angrily, then tore each other apart like they were shreds of tissue paper. Teeth hit together and clamped onto lips. Noses smashed against each other, making it difficult to inhale other than between every crash. Hands wandered, pushing clothes off of bodies and touching places that would have been forbidden to anyone else. Gasping for air, both men fell onto the bed, unable to let go of each other and unable to stop.  
***  
Ten minutes later, Castiel was still trying to catch his breath and grinning. He was laying next to Dean on the bed, over the covers, eyes closed. "I'm never going to get used to that," he breathed, eyes opening again.  
They were laying in the dark, spread out on the width of the bed instead of the length. Side by side, shoulder against shoulder, Dean and Castiel were panting for breath and still trying to touch each other in some way. This time, their feet were tangled together.  
"Never? I don't think I'll ever get sick of your moaning," Dean breathed in response. Castiel could hear the hint of a smile and attempted to playfully hit him. It turned into a weak hit on his chest, then Castiel's hand taking up home there. "Exhausted?"  
"Maybe a little," Castiel admitted, exhaling. "We're both messes."  
Dean smiled up at the ceiling, and this time Castiel knew it. He was looking at him. "I wasn't really expecting to do that tonight, you know? I wasn't expecting it until we got out into the parking lot after dinner and reached the car. Fuck, Angel, you looked hot leaning against my Baby and playing with my shirt. I wanted to kiss you right there."  
"Whoa there, Green Eyes," Castiel mumbled, sitting up slowly. Dealing with soreness was still not Castiel's forte, even if he dealt with it every day. "Don't go all sappy on me now."  
Dean simply laughed. "Let's get a little cleaner," he smiled, sitting up with Castiel. Next thing Cas knew, his stomach was being wiped with a towel and his boxer-briefs were being placed in his hands. With a smile on his lips, he slid them on and accepted the drink from Dean's hand again. His free had was then snatched up and he was dragged out onto the balcony.  
Castiel actually enjoyed the cold night air that rushed against his skin when Dean opened the doors. His eyes closed and he kept pace with Dean as they walked to the edge of the wooden boards. He set his drink down on the railing and leaned forward, elbows on the edge, eyes closed against the fall breeze.  
"You know..." Castiel exhaled, eyes opening again. "This is the best date I've ever been on, Dean."  
"This is the best date I've ever had as well, Angel." Dean's hand was a welcome warmth on Castiel's lower back. He stood up and leaned into it a little. "Thank you."  
"Thank you, Dean. Really." Castiel looked up at him. Damn, the moonlight played with Dean's features well. "Thank you."  
Dean smiled slowly, lifting his hand and resting it against Castiel's cheek as he leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.  
Once the long, drawn out kiss was over, Castiel whispered against Dean's lips.  
"It's Castiel to you, Green Eyes."  
Smiling, Castiel pulled back and turned away, snatching his drink up again and taking a sip. When he looked back at Dean, those green eyes were staring at him fondly again.  
"I thought I said not to tell me," Dean whispered, blinking slowly. "I liked the secret."  
"Yeah, well," Castiel trailed off, smiling still. He looked down at his drink. "I was getting sick of hearing you call me Angel when we're not at the club."  
"Castiel," Dean tested.  
Somehow, the name sounded like Heaven when it fell from Dean's lips.  
"Do you mind if I shorten it a little?"  
"Not at all," Castiel smiled. He leaned again Dean's side and closed his eyes, breathing in the mixture of the night air and lime and peppermint. Intoxicating must have been Dean's middle name.  
"Okay. Mind if I call you Cas?"  
"Not at all," he repeated, feeling his mind lulling a little. "I don't mind-" Yawn. "-at all."  
Dean's hand lifted to his hair and played with the short strands on the back on Castiel's head. "Okay," Dean mumbled. "Cas. I like the sound of that... It fits you."  
Castiel laughed softly. "It fits me, huh? How?"  
Dean shrugged, jostling Castiel's head. "It just... does. I can't see you with any other name."  
Another laugh fell from Castiel's lips and he tried to stand up straight. With another drink, it was more possible. "You know that you're a dork, right?" He asked, looking straight at Dean.  
"Yeah, I know," Dean laughed. "I think you've mentioned it once or twice."  
Castiel smiled and leaned toward Dean, breathing his words. "Kiss me."  
Once Dean did kiss him, it was hard to stop. They couldn't pull apart and ended up putting their glasses on the railing again. Castiel's hand wandered up into Dean's hair while his other hand's fingers curled into Dean's shoulder. Dean's arms slid around his waist, the tips of his fingers curling just under the lower hem of Castiel's underwear. Happiness was swelling in Castiel's chest. No one had ever kissed him so sweetly before. It had always been shredding lips and destroying. This was soft and smooth, repairing and soothing. It felt better than anything ever had.  
It was hard to stop, but eventually they did. When they pulled apart, Castiel refused to let go of Dean and held him close, worrying at his lip as he did. God, he felt like he could cry. That had been so sweet, so nice... It wasn't until Dean's hand lifted to his cheek that Castiel realized he was shaking.  
"Let's go inside. It's cold out here," Dean whispered against his temple, and Castiel felt himself starting to shake more. Why was Dean being so nice to him? He didn't deserve this; he was just a slut who sold sex for money to pay his way through college and for shelter. "Come on, Cas. Let's get you inside."  
Castiel had no choice but to follow Dean into the bedroom again on shaky legs. Dean was carrying both glasses in one hand, pinched between his fingers, his other arm around Castiel's shoulders to help hold him up. It was too much.  
"No," Castiel grumbled, trying to get away from Dean. "You don't have to help me. I'm fine." His attempts were wasted, though, because Dean only held on tighter. "Let go, Dean. I'm fine."  
"Cas, you're shaking like crazy. Stop trying to push me away."  
"We're inside now, Dean, let go of me." Castiel pushed his hand off and licked his lips, looking at the floor. "Where are my clothes?"  
"They're on the other side of the bed," Dean whispered. Castiel turned around and started to the other side of the bed. The sound of glasses clinking together accompanied him. Castiel picked his clothing out of the pile and slid his jeans on first, tugging the sleeves of the shirt over his arms before buttoning it up and tucking it in.  
He stumbled slightly over his own feet as he searched for his socks. Once he found them, he slid them on and slid into his shoes.  
The initial shock of being treated so nicely had passed, but Castiel still didn't want to stick around and feel worse. So he kissed Dean goodnight softly, thanked him for the amazing evening, and walked back downstairs. He grabbed his bag from the hook by the door, slid it over his shoulders, and walked out the door.  
Castiel found the nearest bus stop and travelled home. Once he got inside, he dropped his bag by the door and slid his shoes off, got in the shower, then fell asleep in bed in only a towel, hair wet.


	4. The Promise

A few weeks later, Castiel was stressed out from his classes as they grew deeper into the courses. He started picking up later shifts at the club so that he could go home after class and do homework, sleep for a few minutes, then go to work. 

In doing that, he avoided Dean. Castiel was kind of glad about that. He didn't know how to speak to Dean after his little freak out at the end of their date. He also knew that he wouldn't be able to just take his money and fuck after that...

"Cas!" A familiar voice shouted. 

Castiel cursed and slowed down. There would be no escaping it now. 

"Cas! Hey, hold up!" When Castiel turned around, Dean was running at him from across the walkway on campus. Castiel licked his lips and stopped, swirling the coffee in his cup slowly. "Hey, dude," Dean greeted as he reached him. "It's been a while." 

"I know," Castiel smiled slightly. Fuck, he was tired. "It's been hectic." 

"Fancy words, Mr. Psych." Dean smiled. "Do you have to get to class? I can walk if you need it-"

"No, it's fine. I was just leaving campus. Class just got through. I just-" Castiel yawned, lifting a hand to cover his mouth. "Fuck, sorry. I just have a lot of homework and it's kind of hard to keep up." 

"I understand that feeling," Dean smiled, rocking back on his heels. "I should let you go get to work, shouldn't I?"

"It would be appreciated," Castiel admitted. He yawned again. 

"Shit, Cas, you seem exhausted. Can I buy you a coffee or something?" 

Castiel smiled again and lifted his cup. "I've got some." 

"Let me refill it, then," Dean leaned forward slightly, smiling at Castiel. "Come on. It's just coffee. I need to talk to you anyway." 

That was when Castiel shied away. "I just got this filled up," Castiel lied. Nervous laughter fell from his lips. "Maybe next time, Green Eyes. That sound good?" 

"I guess." Dean seemed dejected. "Good luck with work and school, Cas. I'll see you next time, and I will buy you coffee." 

"Sounds like a plan. Next time." 

"'Til next time," Dean mumbled. Castiel barely heard it as he walked away with a dry mouth and sad feeling in his chest. 

***

One month later, Castiel was on break from school. It was Christmas time, so snow was covering the sidewalks and he had broken out the winter coat and gloves a few days ago when the snow fell. Even a month layer, Castiel hadn't seen Dean again. He'd avoided him at every cost. 

It wasn't like he didn't want to see Dean, he just knew that if he did it was going to end bad. He was going to actually fall for the guy and it was going to end bad. It always ended horribly. Life wasn't a romance movie. There were no happy endings for strippers that went to college and dated someone they met on the job. There just weren't. It didn't happen... ever. 

At least, that's what Castiel's thought until his doorbell rang. 

He groaned and covered his head with the pillow again. He was tired, he didn't want to answer any door. 

The doorbell rang five times before Castiel grumbled and slid out from under his two blankets to answer it and tell whoever it was to go the fuck away. When the dark wood door opened to green eyes, Castiel swallowed his words and looked to the side. A frown slid over his face. 

"How did you get my address?" 

"I had the school tell me. The power of persuasion, my friend. Do you mind if I come in?"

"Yes, I mind!" Castiel exclaimed, meeting Dean's eyes. "You're like some- some- some rash that I can't get rid of! Why can't you understand that I don't want to-" 

Lips pressing to his cut his words off like a knife. He gasped into the kiss, feeling a little smothered by Dean's lips. Despite that, his hands raised into Dean's hair and pulled him into the apartment. Adrenaline was rushing through his body, making him act on impulse and not thought. "Fuck," Castiel gasped, breaking away from the kiss as Dean kicked the door shut. "Fuck! How the fuck-"

"Fool proof," Dean exhaled, laughing softly. "Everyone falls for that." 

"Everyone fa-" Castiel frowned, then shook his head. "I don't care. Get out, Dean." 

"Cas, it's been almost two months. When the fuck are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Never. Now get out of my fucking apartment before I call the fucking cops." Castiel hissed, shoving on Dean's shoulder. The guy barely moved. "Get out!" 

"Not until you talk." Dean looked down at Castiel. 

Their eyes met and Castiel felt his eyebrows twitch together. "Then I guess you're not leaving. Bathroom is down the hall, your bed is the couch, kitchen in right there. Have fun, Dean-o. I'm going to sleep. I expect you to fucking be gone by the time I wake up." 

"I'm not leaving!" Dean shouted after him. 

Castiel slammed the door to his bedroom and buried himself under his blankets again, glad to have his feet off of the freezing floor. Not even ten minutes later, he was asleep again with some cheesy romantic comedy playing on the television. 

***

Two hours later, Castiel woke up with no recollection of what had happened previously. He stumbled out of his bedroom in search of water and found Dean laying on the couch, feet propped up on the arm closest to the door, breathing heavily as if he was sleeping as well. Without a second thought, Castiel took his blanket off of his shoulders and draped it over Dean's sleeping form, smiling as he did so. He yawned and blinked sleepily, looking down at Dean fondly before heading into the kitchen for a drink of water. 

Afterward, Castiel was still half asleep and used the wall as a support to walk back into the living room. Eyelids like lead and causing his eyes to close, Cas stumbled into the living room and fell onto the couch next to Dean, curling toward the warmth. He tugged the blanket out from under himself and buried himself under it, arm falling over Dean's side. 

Somehow, he did all of that without thinking about what he was doing and what would happen. 

When he woke up again half an hour later, coherent this time, he freaked out and tried to get away from Dean's arm. The grip only tightened, though, forcing him to stay. "It's not that easy," Dean's voice rumbled in his ear.

"Let me go, Dean." 

"No way, Angel." 

"Let me go." Castiel spoke through clenched teeth. "Before I scream." 

"Wouldn't be the first time," Dean replied, pulling Castiel even closer. "Tell me why you've been avoiding me." 

"Not until you let me go!"

"I'm not letting go until you tell me, so I guess we're fucking stuck, Angel. Tell me." Dean's breath hissed against Castiel's ear. "Fucking tell me." 

"I freaked out, okay?! You were so sweet and nice that I freaked out and couldn't believe anyone would treat me that way! Fucking let me go, Winchester!" Castiel was shouting. He sunk his teeth into Dean's arm and heard him yelp and felt the weight lift, internally and externally. Castiel jumped off of the couch, practically running across the room. 

Once he stopped, he slumped against the wall and covered his face. 

Did he really just say that? 

"Cas-"

"If you're going to say you're sorry, don't." 

"Cas-" Dean's voice was a little more urgent.

"I know I'm fucked up. Jesus Christ, man, I'm a psychology major with major issues. I know I've got something wrong with my brain." 

"Cas! I wasn't going to say any-"

"Just-"

"Dammit, Cas, listen to me. I wasn't going to say anything bad about you! I was just going to ask why you flipped out. Has no one treated you kindly before?" 

Castiel coughed slightly, unnecessarily, and looked down at the floor. That was apparently all Dean needed. He stood and made his way across the room, stepping over the coffee table instead of around it. Castiel couldn't take his eyes off of him. 

"Cas, I want to treat you nicely. You deserve it. You work hard and deserve a break sometimes. You deserve to be pampered. You deserve to be spoiled. I want to pamper you and spoil you, Castiel. I want to shower you with gifts and parties and nights in and kisses and laughs and everything you can imagine. God knows I'll be able to. Please, Castiel, let me do that. Let me treat you nice. Let me make you feel worthy of everything. Let me worship you." Dean's hands framed Castiel's face. He kissed his forehead and nose. "Let me treat you like the angel you are." 

Castiel didn't know what to say. It was all he could do to breathe at that moment. He stared at Dean, licking his lips, before looking off to the side and looking back. Dean was still there. He was still staring at Castiel, expecting an answer. 

"I- Dean-" Castiel choked on his words. "Okay." He whispered the word, then bit his lip. 

"Okay," Dean smiled at him, leaning in to kiss Castiel. 

Melting into the kiss, Castiel closed his eyes and lifted his hands to Dean's upper arms. His hands closed around muscle and he smiled slightly. He had actually missed this, despite having only kissed Dean a few times. Intimacy wasn't his forte, but with Dean it was as easy as breathing. It came as naturally as breathing did, too. 

Five minutes later, they were sitting side by side on Castiel's couch, the blanket draped over their legs as they spoke softly about nothing in particular. The chatted idly about what they'd done over the past month, and when Dean said that he'd asked King about Castiel and his shifts, King had told him that he barely saw him anymore either, and that made Castiel's chest ache. He'd been neglecting his friends as well. 

"I'll have to tell him I'm sorry," Castiel smiled slightly and adjusted his grip on Dean's hand. His eyes darted down to look at their intertwined fingers. "I need to apologize to you, too, Dean." 

"Cas-" Dean sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"No, I know I need to. I treated you poorly, Dean. I- uh- I purposefully avoided you and ignored you. That was rude."

"I understand it now," Dean mumbled, lifting his free hand to Castiel's cheek. "I understand that you were scared and confused, Cas. Don't apologize for that; I probably would have been too, if I was in your position."

Castiel scoffed and leaned into Dean's touch without meaning to. He didn't know what to say. A sigh left Dean's lips and ruffled Castiel's hair, making him smile. Castiel curled his fingers around Dean's and moved Dean's hand to his lips and pressed his lips against Dean's knuckles. His eyes closed as he did, so all he heard was Dean's soft intake of breath. 

Dean's fingers slid from Castiel's and curved around his jaw again, his thumb tracing Castiel's lip softly. Shy smiles were on both of their faces. Castiel looked down and grunted softly as he moved closer to Dean with difficulty on the cheap couch, dropping his head onto Dean's shoulder. 

"You know," Dean whispered, lips landing in Castiel's mess of hair, "you're a lot different than you are at the club right now." 

"It's because I'm tired again and not in the hype," Castiel mumbled, eyes closed. "I usually take time off during the break from school and sleep half of the time. It makes up for the lack of sleep I get during the rest of the year."

"So if I hadn't gotten your address, I wouldn't have seen you?" Dean inquired. 

"Not unless you showed up on Christmas Day," Castiel chuckled. "But you've got your brother, so you don't have to worry about that." 

Dean shook his head slightly, smiling. "Sammy and I barely ever celebrate anything but birthdays."

"Christmas is Jesus's birthday," Castiel teased, laughing softly. Dean laughed a little louder than Cas, and somehow it made Castiel feel a little more awake. "Therefore-"

"Therefore I should celebrate it," Dean interrupted, ducking down to kiss Castiel. "I think I'll celebrate it admiring one of God's finest creations." 

"Man? The stage? Music?" Mumbling as he smiled, Castiel lifted on hand to Dean's cheek and brushed their lips together. 

"Man," Dean whispered, heated breath spilling over Castiel's wet lips. "Specifically one man."

"I knew you were cheating on me," Cas deadpanned, but his smile betrayed him. 

"You caught me," Dean breathed, leaning down over Castiel. Cas shifted sideways as they slowly lowered onto the couch, Castiel on his back beneath Dean. Dean's lips slid against Castiel's jaw, his teeth nipping at the edge after he got Cas flat on his back. 

"And you've caught me," Cas murmured, eyes closing again. His head tilted slowly to the side. Lips dragged against Castiel's cheek. Rough stubble brushed against Castiel's cheek and jaw, scratching his relatively smooth skin. The feeling made Castiel moan softly, licking his lips. "Green Eyes-" 

"Cas," Dean replied, lips pressing to Castiel's with soft brevity. Castiel pouted when Dean pulled away and grabbed at his tie, tugging him down into another kiss. Dean responded with vigor, happily taking Castiel's lips with his own. "Cas-" 

A groan was Castiel's only repsonse.  

"Cas, I- Jesus Christ- my phone-" Dean breathed, using both hands to gather up Castiel's hands. He pushed them against the arm of the couch, holding them there with one hand. Castiel pushed himself up a little to try nipping at Dean's neck, but Dean stopped him from doing so by sitting up. Struggling against Dean's death-grip occupied Castiel while Dean pulled his phone from his pocket and answered it, smirking down at Cas.  

"Winchester," Dean greeted, then cursed. "You're kidding. I didn't have a meeting today, Lisa. I checked the plans... Fuck." A sigh interrupted his words. He pinned the phone between his shoulder and his ear. "Seriously? You're not fucking with me?" Dean's free hand gently trailed his forefinger down the inside of Castiel's upper arm. "I fucking hate surprises. Tell them I'll be there in-" Dean looked around for a clock, which Castiel would have pointed out to him if he were able.  

"It's three p.m." Castiel piped in, chuckling when Dean rolled his eyes.  

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. I promise. Time me, Lis." Dean laughed at whatever this Lisa told him, and hung up after a second.  

"Let's make this quick," Dean whispered, keeping Castiel's hands pinned above his head while he kissed him again, deeper. "No time for foreplay."  

*** 

Castiel laughed and looped his arm through Dean's, sipping his coffee as he did. Their second date was just a quick coffee break while Dean had time. It was a simple one: walking to the coffee shop from wherever the fuck Dean had stopped at, ordering coffee, then walking back while drinking coffee.  

Castiel grinned down at the salt crunching under his feet on the sidewalk, pushing one hand into his coat pocket. Next to Cas was Dean, walking at the same pace, black dress shoes the exact opposite of Castiel's ratty old converse. Dean's slacks were the opposite of Castiel's worn out jeans, just like his white shirt, tie, and sweater contrasted with Castiel's t-shirt and sweatshirt. Dean's coat was even nicer than Castiel's, which had made him laugh a little. The warm cardboard bottom of Dean's coffee cup hit Castiel's shoulder to steal his attention away and make him looked up at Dean questioningly.  

Dean grinned back at Castiel's confused expression and took a swig of coffee, tugging Castiel closer by the arm. "He's actually alive! What a joy," Dean joked, sarcasm lacing his voice.  

Castiel laughed and shook his head. "Not quite alive," he replied, bumping his shoulder against Dean's. "Just surviving."  

"Surviving, huh? That's a little depressing, isn't it?"  

"Maybe a little, but it's pretty fucking good for me." Castiel chuckled. "No obligations." 

"Not until Christmas Day," Dean mumbled almost absently, looking in the windows of the shops they passed.  

Castiel continued walking in silence, humming to himself as he looked at the other people walking by them, making faces at the little kids to make them laugh and turn to look at him again as they passed by. Suddenly, Dean stopped, bringing Castiel to a lurching pause. Castiel frowned slightly and looked over at Dean, wondering why he'd stopped.  

"Come on," Dean mumbled, tugging on Castiel's arm again.  

"Green Eyes-" Castiel tried to protest, but Dean was already tugging him inside by the hand. "Dean! What are we-" 

"I want to buy you something! Just come on." Dean grinned over his shoulder at Castiel, expertly avoiding the jewelry counter.  

Castiel frowned more and followed behind Dean anyway. "Dean, you don't have to-" 

"I want to!" Dean exclaimed, turning around and scooping Castiel into his arms. He pressed his lips to Castiel's and pulled away quickly after, smiling. "Seriously, Cas, I want to. I promised to treat you nice and this is a part of treating you nice." Dean whispered this time, a nice contrast to his earlier half-shout. His eyes sparkled with excitement, making Castiel smile.  

"Fine," Castiel whispered, lifting his hand to card his fingers through Dean's hair. "Whatever you say."  

Dean chuckled, leaning down to nose at Castiel's cheek. "Live a little. Don't just survive, Angel."  

"Shut up, Green Eyes," Castiel laughed, smacking his arm. "Hurry up, too, so that you don't get a call from Lisa demanding you to come back to work. As you told me earlier, you-" Castiel poked a finger against Dean's chest, pulling himself out of Dean's arms. "-have a meeting this afternoon."  

Rolling his eyes, Dean snatched up Castiel's hand again and tugged him further back into the store.


	5. The Purchase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm approaching the chapter I'm currently writing, so I'm going to be posting a little slower than normal. Thank you for the hits, kudos, comments, and bookmarks! So far, this fic is the highlight of my account. It's enjoyable to write and even enjoyable to post! The next chapter will have a... problem in it. If you're sensitive to any of the last few tags, just comment and I will try to summarize the chapter and leave that part out if you would like. :-) I don't want to make any of you uncomfortable or unhappy!   
> Again, thank you! Enjoy the chapter.

"Dean, stop-"    
"Just fucking put it on, Angel!"     
Castiel  frowned and crossed his arms. Eyes meeting Dean's, he tiled his head and challenged Dean with a "Why should I?"    
Dean merely stood up and put his hands on  Castiel's  biceps with a smile. "Because I think you'll look amazing in it, baby. Please try it on? You may even find out that you like it."    
Castiel  pursed his lips before sighing and rolling his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. You have to help me, though. I don't know what to do with this."     
Dean laughed and nodded. "Will do. Just go put the rest of it on and I'll wait out here."    
Castiel  smiled slightly and snuck a kiss from Dean before turning around and walking into the dressing room. Once in the room, he smiled and shed his sweatshirt and t-shirt, quietly toeing off his tennis shoes as he did. His jeans came off next, until he was standing in only his white boxer-briefs and socks in the small dressing room. Surveying himself in the mirror, he smiled.     
Cas  had really never had a problem with his body. He was perfectly happy with it. It was lithe and his skin was smooth and free of blemishes, aside from the few rare freckles and moles. His skin tone was even pleasing to him, even if he wished he was just a tad bit tanner. Strength was no worry either. He was perfectly happy with his runner's body and with having a majority of his strength in his legs. It was what got him through high school half-happy, really. He'd been on the track team and had gained friends through that and through dance classes, but those were a tad bit more secretive.     
Sigh escaping his lips,  Castiel  lifted the pants off of the rack and pulled them on, followed by the rest of the suit. He tilted his head and fixed the color of the shirt and the tucked in area of the shirt, pursing his lips. Honestly,  Castiel  had never worn a suit outside of work, and even then it wasn't a real suit. It was a button up shirt and a pair of unbuttoned slacks. That wasn't a suit.     
This, however, was a suit. It was complete with a white button up shirt, suit jacket, slacks, and dress shoes. All it needed was the tie, and Dean had that outside...    
Castiel  smiled and shook his head slightly. He should probably hurry... Dean had a meeting soon. He didn't want to make him late again.     
Still smiling,  Castiel  walked out of the dressing room and lifted his arms, turning once he reached Dean, who was sitting on the couch waiting for  Castiel . Dean grinned up at him and nodded in approval as he stood.     
"It fits perfectly. You look just like I said you would, Angel."     
"Shut up and put the tie on me, Green Eyes."  Castiel  winked, grinning as he did. "Preferably before you ravish me."    
Dean laughed again and slid the light blue silky fabric around  Castiel's  neck after turning the collar up.  Castiel  watched Dean as he tied the tie, interested in the way Dean's tongue stuck out between his teeth and parted lips as he focused on doing it correctly. 

"I can feel your eyes on me," Dean commented, eyes flicking up to look at  Castiel  through his eyelashes.  Castiel  smiled innocently and played the puppy eyes card, pouting his lips a little. "Puppy eyes... My weakness. How did you know?" 

"You just seem like the type to melt at doe eyes,"  Castiel  shrugged, rolling his neck when Dean flipped his collar back down. "How do I look?" Smiling again,  Castiel  took a step backwards. "Be honest." 

Dean whistled, a faint smile on his lips. His eyes wandered up and down slowly. It took another moment for him to finally whisper a soft "Astounding." 

Castiel  felt his face flush. "Really?" he asked, blinking. "You think it's-"

"Astounding, beautiful, charming, dazzling, exquisite, fabulous, gorgeous, and every word in-between A and Z,  Cas ." Dean shook his head as he spoke, still looking  Castiel  over. His eyes met  Castiel's  again and  Cas  felt a smile forming on his lips after his shocked expression. 

"I think my favorite in that range of words is pulchritudinous," mumbled  Castiel  timidly.

Dean laughed and stepped forward again, snatching up  Castiel's  hands and kissing him. "Pulchritudinous is perfect. Go change back so we can buy this for you. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect, Dean, but I don't want you buying it for me. It's expensive."

"I want to buy it for you,  Cas . Like you said-"

"It makes me look pulchritudinous. I know."  Castiel  sighed, squeezing Dean's hands. "You're treating me a little too good." 

"It's my job. Now go change before I'm late for my meeting." 

"Untie the tie for me?"  Castiel  pleaded, giving Dean the pouty-lipped doe eyes again.

With a sigh, Dean reached out and swiftly untied the silk. He waved it in the air at  Castiel  in a gesture that told him to go change already. 

Castiel  laughed and went back into the dressing room, changing back into his normal clothes. He walked back out with a smile, suit draped over his arm. Dean picked up  Castiel's  coat and draped it over his own shoulder, snatching up  Castiel's  hand and lacing their fingers together. 

Dean paid for the suit, handing it to  Castiel  with a grin after helping  Castiel  put on his coat. They walked back outside into the biting chill of the winter, ready to go their separate ways. Dean's phone was buzzing in his pocket. 

"I'll see you later, okay? You can come to my house if you'd like,  Cas ."

"Maybe,"  Castiel  replied, smiling. "I'll call you as soon as the clock hits six." 

"Sounds perfect." Dean snuck a quick, brief kiss before shoving  Castiel  jokingly and winking. "I'll talk to you later, Angel."

"See you, Green Eyes."

***

Three hours later, at six p.m.,  Castiel  called Dean's cell as he flipped through channels on his television absently. 

"Winchester," Dean's voice greeted with an underlying tone that suggested anger or irritation.

"It's me. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Dean sighed. "Sorry if I seem snappy. I'm just a little annoyed with people today." 

"You want to  raincheck  tonight, Green Eyes?"

"Hell no,  Cas ." His voice was incredulous. "You're the only one who hasn't fought with me today over something significant to this stupid company." 

Castiel  huffed a laugh. "That doesn't mean you don't deserve a little alone time, babe." Hands picking at the blanket draped over his legs,  Castiel  smiled and looked down at Dean's next words. 

"Alone time is time that could be spent getting to know you,  Cas . There's no way I'd pass up being able to see my guy." Dean was quiet as he spoke, giving  Castiel  the illusion of complete privacy and intimacy in the words. "Do you want me to pick you up? I'm going to leave in the next hour or so. We could go somewhere for dinner and then head back to my house." 

"That sounds really nice,"  Castiel  sighed, eyes closed. "I have one requirement, though." 

"What is it?" Dean's voice was dropping as they spoke, and it made  Castiel  think of how he sounded when he was inside of  Cas . That was quite the sound, too... 

"You have to let me pay this time."  Castiel  smiled at Dean's laugh. "You bought me a suit today, Dean. The least I can do is pay for dinner." 

" Cas -"

"Either I pay and we go out and then go back to your house and do a little getting-to-know-each-other, or we don't go at all, Green Eyes. Your call." 

A sigh came from over the line and  Castiel  smirked. Resignation was written all over that sigh. 

"Fine. I hope you know that this means you're choosing the place too."

"I know just the place. Just call me when you're outside. I'll let you get back to work."

"Will do, Angel. I'll see you soon." 

At that, Dean hung up the phone. 

"Time to get ready,"  Castiel  mumbled as he slid off of the couch. 

Getting ready consisted of showering (since  Castiel  honestly hadn't done that in the morning), putting gel in his hair again, and trying to decide on what the hell to wear. Finally, just before his phone went off,  Castiel  decided on a white button up shirt, blue sweater, and jeans. He grabbed his phone just before the last ring, hitting answer and pinning it between his shoulder and cheek as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Give me one second and I'll meet you down there. I'm still getting dressed." 

Laughter came through the line. "Okay," Dean chuckled. "I'll be waiting." 

Castiel  hung up and sighed, finishing his task and tucking the shirt in. He slid a belt into his jeans, slid his sweater on, and put his wallet- full of bills- and keys into his pocket. His phone stayed in hand as he draped his coat over his shoulders, knowing there wasn't long to walk. 

He hurried downstairs and found the impala easily, walking carefully over to it and leaning in the window once Dean rolled it down. "Come on,"  Castiel  grinned, pulling his coat tight around his shoulders. "We're walking again." 

Dean groaned good-naturedly, sliding out of the car and walking around the car to  Castiel  with caution.  Castiel  grinned and took his hand, but Dean shook his head and slid his arm around  Castiel's  waist instead. "So, Angel, where are we going?"

After quickly leaning up and kissing Dean,  Castiel  shrugged. "My favorite restaurant," he answered, still holding his coat over his shoulders. 

"Your favorite? I'll try not to  diss  it, then." Dean's arm tightened around  Castiel's  waist, making  Castiel  laugh. 

Castiel  held the door to the tiny Chinese restaurant open for Dean. "Hey, guys," he greeted the waiters, who all grinned at him and welcomed him to the restaurant. 

"Who's this? He's new," one of them- Russell- asked, leaning over the counter to look Dean over. "You got a new conquest, Cassie?"

"It's  Cas , Russ,"  Castiel  replied with a casual gesture that included lifting merely one finger. "It's empty in here today. Some kind of holiday?"

"Nah," Russell replied, waving his hand as if he were swatting away the comment. "Just a slow day. Sit anywhere."

"Thanks. I'll let you know when we're ready."  Castiel  grinned, taking Dean's hand and leading him the  the  back table. 

The lighting in the restaurant was dim, a few paper lanterns hanging down and casting a soft glow through the room. They sat at the furthest table ( Castiel's  favorite), underneath a red lantern and next to a paper fan pinned to the wall. 

"It seems like you come here a lot," Dean pointed out, leaning on the edge of the table.

"Every chance I get,"  Castiel  smiled. "Russell's the only high school friend I have left. We were both kind of popular outcasts." 

"Popular outcasts, huh? Don't those words kind of contradict themselves?" 

"Maybe a little, but it's true. Those are the only words to describe our relationships with other people in school." 

"I've got a question," Dean stated, tilting his head to the side slightly.  Castiel  raised his eyebrows, urging him to continue. "If Russell was still your friend after high school, why did you move in with King? Why didn't you move in with Russell?"

"His parents are kind of... conservative."  Castiel  shrugged. "They found out that I was gay from my parents and didn't want me in their house. They thought I would corrupt Russell." 

"That's ridiculous."

"I know, but you can't put it against them. They grew up being told that being gay was a sin."  Castiel  smiled up at Dean. "Don't worry about it, Green Eyes. Let's make this relaxing. You had a long day."

Dean sighed and pursed his lips. "Yeah, this is supposed to be relaxing," Dean mumbled under his breath, closing his eyes for a second. 

"We can dive into the deep dark past later, after dinner,"  Castiel  teased, reaching across the table to grab Dean's hand. He squeezed it gently. "Now pick up your menu and choose what sounds good." 

Laughing and obeying  Castiel's  demand, Dean squeezed  Castiel's  hand back. For some reason, it made  Castiel's  chest swell with happiness. 

But that was probably just the laugh.

After dinner,  Cas  and Dean stumbled out into the night happy and full. Russell shouted after them, but  Castiel  couldn't make sense of the call. 

"Yeah, you too, Russ!"  Castiel  shouted back as the door closed. 

Dean laughed so hard he almost fell over. Confused,  Castiel  grinned and helped Dean across the icy sidewalk and to his car. "What the hell are you laughing about?" he laughed, high off of the sound of Dean's hysterics. "Breathe, Dean!"

Laughter subsiding for a moment once they were seated in the car, Dean took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "Do you even know what he said,  Cas ?"

All  Castiel  did was shake his head. 

"He told us to, and I quote, "use a motherfucking condom tonight" in Chinese." Dean laughed again. "And you told him to use one too."

Castiel  burst into laughter as well, head tilted back and hands covering his face. After a second he chuckled and mumbled "Whoops." 

***

It was past midnight now. The sheets were rustled, covered in sweat and God knows what else, there were clothes strewn across the floor, and the lights were off. The sound of soft snoring filled the room as  Castiel  wiggled out from under Dean's arm. 

As he stood, he winced slightly. Soreness was soreness, no matter how much you dealt with it.  Castiel  slid into his underwear again, quietly rifling through Dean's drawers to try and find a pair of pajama pants. Once he found sweatpants, he slid them on and smiled at the low slung material, padding his way across the room to his bag that he'd brought with him. 

Sadly, he'd forgotten to bring extra clothes, but he'd remembered to grab his school bag. With a small smile on his face, he slid the bag over his shoulder and stooped to grab his sweater as he walked toward the doors to the balcony. 

He dropped his bag onto the cold wood of the balcony and slid his sweater over his head, smirking at the lack of snow. It was like Dean cleared off this part of the house only. He dropped down to sit on the wood off to the side, not in the way of the doors in case Dean woke up and walked out, and opened his bag. 

Five minutes later,  Castiel  had his laptop sitting on his crossed legs and was writing and rewriting his psych essay. He was so deep in the work that he didn't notice the doors behind him opening until a blanket dropped over his shoulders. Startled, he looked up to find Dean smiling at him, leaning over his shoulder and sitting behind him. 

"Hey, busy bee," Dean mumbled, lips pressing to the mark on  Castiel's  neck that he had left earlier. "You okay? Are you going to run away from me this time too?" 

Castiel  smiled and leaned back against Dean slightly. "No. I'm just writing my essay a little in advance. It's not due until after we get back, but I figured I'd get a  headstart ."  Castiel  hit the period and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Dean. "Do you want to read it?"

"Maybe in the morning," Dean sighed, catching  Castiel's  eye. "I'm half asleep still."

"Sometimes psychology makes more sense when you're half asleep than it does fully awake, Green Eyes."  Castiel  mumbled, reaching behind his back to grab Dean's hand. His knuckles brushed bare skin and he laughed softly. "Are you still naked?"

"Too tired for clothes," Dean groaned.

"Dean,"  Castiel  chastised with a short laugh, "You need to get dressed. It's cold out here. There's snow on the ground."

"We're not on the ground. If we were on the ground, we would be freezing our asses off, you would not have your laptop out, and you wouldn't be out here in the first place." Dean listed, ticking each item off on a finger. Laughter bubbled out of  Castiel . "Am I not right?"

"No, no. You're right,"  Castiel  laughed. "You should still be dressed, though. You're going to get frostbite or something."

"It's waking me up. The frozen wood against my-"

"Okay, okay,"  Castiel  chuckled, sliding his laptop into his bag again. He stood up, dragging Dean with him. "Get up. We're going back inside." 

"I've already gotten my required four hours."

"You definitely have not,"  Castiel  protested. "Get up. You've gotten maybe an hour of sleep, you dork." 

"I think I'm frozen to the balcony." 

"That's because you walked out here with only a blanket on."

Amusement in his eyes, Dean grinned up at  Castiel . "And you took the time to get dressed."

Castiel  rolled his eyes. "Just get up, Green Eyes." 

Dean grunted and let  Castiel  help him up, playfully throwing his hand down afterward. "I didn't need your help," he teased, shoving  Castiel  into the bedroom.  Castiel  laughed and dropped his bag on the floor again, turning around quickly and coming face to face with Dean. A soft, sweet kiss was dropped onto his lips. "You know I'm kidding, right?"

"Would I laugh otherwise?"  Castiel  whispered, letting his arms lift to curl around Dean's neck. 

"I don't know. You may find pain funny."

"I don't,"  Castiel  answered, brushing his lips against Dean's gently. "I think pain is bad in every form."

"I'll keep that in mind," Dean whispered, the tip of his nose ghosting against  Castiel's  cheek as he lowered a soft, succinct kiss to the corner of his mouth.  Castiel  smiled slowly, one of his hands smoothing down the hair on the back of Dean's head. "Pain is bad."

"Very bad,"  Castiel  mumbled, eyes on Dean's closed ones. Smiling, he took in everything he could before Dean opened his eyes, committing it to memory. Dark gold eyelashes brushed against freckled cheekbones, carved from marble because of the smile that was plastered on Dean's full lips. Then those eyes opened and  Castiel  couldn't fight the smile that was returning for the millionth time. The green of Dean's eyes was barely noticeable in the darkness of the room, but up close it was obvious. His eyes were round and full of hope and happiness, the dark green of Dean's eyes held flecks of gold and brown near the middle, making them seem almost hazel. 

Suddenly,  Castiel  wondered if Dean thought  Castiel  was as beautiful as  Castiel  thought Dean was. 

Then he realized that was impossible. 

No one could think he was as beautiful as Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester was a god, carved of marble by Michelangelo himself. All chiseled features and gorgeous smiles, intricate details and unmistakably deep and meaningful colors. Bright, happy emotions were obvious on his face at almost all times. When it showed, the sadness and anger was evident even more so than the happiness. Wide, glittering eyes watched every move you made, intimidating you but making you want them on you more, making you want those ostentatious, enthralling eyes on you at all times. Every move Dean made was a move you had to watch, whether it be the slightest twitch of his eyebrows or his intoxicating lips or the simple act of flipping a paper or the act of running his hand through his hair. Dean Winchester made movement look like a work of art, a brush stroke assigned to make him even more exhilarating. His voice was like honey dripping over gravel, rough and hurtful but saccharine and soothing all at the same time, creating sores in your subconscious before smoothing them over and creating more. His whole being held this... presence that you wanted around you more often, every day, every hour, forever. Dean Winchester was a force every person was drawn to whether they wanted to be or not. 

He was everything  Castiel  was not. 

Castiel  was his unkempt hair, the horrible crinkles that showed up under his eyes and the wrinkles in his nose that showed themselves when he smiled. He was his too pink lips, his cleft chin, his broken personality, self-esteem issues. He was the kid who was abandoned by his parents just when he turned eighteen, thrown onto the street, forced to make his living by using his dancing skills and finding out how much he loved sex when he first started. That kid who no one wanted, that everyone either ignored or hated. That was  Castiel . 

"What are you thinking about?" Dean whispered, eyes on  Castiel's .

"I'm starting to wonder what it is about your bedroom that makes me feel unworthy,"  Castiel  admitted, eyes meeting Dean's again. "I don't understand why you want to spoil me of all of the possible candidates you could get with that face and personality. I don't understand why you would want a stripping prostitute who is paying his way through college." 

Dean smiled at  Castiel  and kissed him again, trying to soothe away any questions he may have in just that simple action. " Cas , you're being insane." 

"I'm being probable,"  Castiel  breathed, eyes closed again. "What would people say if they found out that CEO Dean Winchester was dating  Castiel  Collins, a gay, stripping prostitute, like, five years younger than him." 

" Cas -"

"You know what?"  Castiel  mumbled, shaking his head as he pulled away from Dean. "You're right. I'm being stupid. No one is going to find out because we're going to be careful about it, right? Yeah. Yeah! We'll be careful and we won't do anything outside of our homes and we'll go out of town if we want to do anything in public or we'll go to places where we trust the people-" 

Grabbing  Castiel's  shoulders, Dean stopped his frantic speech and waving hands. " Castiel , listen to yourself. You're literally going to drive yourself insane if you keep that up. Stop it." 

Castiel  frowned and looked down. He was being crazy. It was all Dean's fault, though. He was so perfect and so nice and wonderful, but  Castiel wasn - 

" Cas , look at me." 

"No."

" Cas . Look- at- me." Dean split every word into its own sentence, like every word was a stomp of his foot. A gentle finger touched his chin and made him look up. "I don't care if people find out about us,  Cas . We've gone on three dates in public now, all in town. I don't care if people find out that I'm dating you. Yeah, sure, you may be a stripper, but do I look like I care?" Dean frowned at him, still holding his chin. "No. I don't care if you're a stripper, or if you sell sex. I just care about you, your well-being, your happiness. Isn't that what a relationship is?"

Castiel  swallowed thickly, wrenching his chin out of Dean's hand. "I guess."

"Exactly." Dean whispered the word, gathering  Castiel  into his arms. 

With a small, unexpected smile spreading on his lips,  Castiel  lifted his hands to Dean's back. He buried his face in Dean's neck, inhaling the scent of lime, peppermint, and sweat. His eyes closed as he did. Holding his breath for a second,  Castiel  wondered what could possibly ruin any of this. 

Then his breath left his body in a short laugh. 

"What's so funny?" Dean asked, hands running up under  Castiel's  sweater. 

"You're still naked." 


	6. The Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---WARNING: SENSITIVE MATERIAL IN THIS CHAPTER!---

Christmas at the club was always a different event. 

There was always some group of guys coming in and hoping for a deal on the private rooms or lap dances, and they were always disappointed into trying to force their discount in a way that was a little bit more violent than the typical five-finger discount. 

King and Angel were always on the floor. Being the most desirable workers made them presents in a way, which the owner decided to show by giving them Santa hats and the tackiest mistletoe print covered panties. 

As  Castiel  wandered past the group of guys, he caught a portion of their conversation. 

"-parents kicked me out." 

His heart quenched and he turned back around, making eye contact with the six men sitting around the table. He smiled politely and tilted his head, hands on his hips. "Any of you fellas need a drink?" 

All of them seemed mesmerized by  Castiel  and the fact that he was talking to them. It made  Castiel  grin and laugh. 

"Come on. One of you has to want something. What about you, big guy?"  Castiel  made eye contact with the guy who he had heard speaking. "You want another beer?" 

He nodded numbly, eyes wandering over  Castiel's  body. With a laugh,  Castiel  pivoted on his heel and disappeared into the kitchen. When he stepped out again, he immediately walked back over to the table and slid the tray of beers onto the table. Grinning,  Castiel  slipped into one of the men's laps, sitting sideways and crossing his legs. His arm slid around the man's shoulders. 

"So, what are we talking about?"  Castiel  asked, tilting his head. His eyes wandered over all of the men, finally landing on the one he was sitting on. 

The men laughed and smiled, incorporating  Castiel  into their conversation easily. He laughed with them, chatted idly, and even escorted one of them back into a private room to give him a little Christmas cheer. 

Castiel  left the room with the required hundred and a fifty, ruffled hair and flushed cheeks, smirking. Rich guys were the perfect bait. He was standing by the register counting out money when the door opened. Without looking up he spewed out the usual greeting. 

"Wait-" a familiar voice stated, carrying a frown in its infliction, "I think I might be in the wrong club..." 

Castiel  laughed and looked up, flipping up one finger. "What are you doing here, Russ? You never drop by the club." 

"Figured I might as well see what you found so likeable about the place," Russell shrugged, taking a few steps in. "It's a good place for a drink, isn't it?" 

"The best. Take a seat and I'll bring you a beer."  Castiel  smiled, clapping Russell on the shoulder as he passed by. 

Unfortunately for Russ, he glanced back and looked down just as  Cas  passed him. Jokingly, he gagged, making  Castiel  laugh. 

He returned from the kitchen and slid into the seat across from Russell, leaning his arms on the table. 

"What are you really doing here, Russ? I never pegged you as the guy to even visit this place." 

"Can I not just visit my friend?" Russell teased, leaning back and taking a drink of his beer. His hand ran through his shaggy black hair. "Wish my friend a merry Christmas?" 

Castiel  grinned and rolled his eyes. "Merry Christmas to you too. Is that really why you're here?"

"Man, why are you being so  judgemental ?" 

Castiel  shook his head and laughed. "I'm just confused. You're straight, Russ, and you're in a gay strip club on Christmas. Shouldn't you be with tour family?" 

Russell waved a hand. "They're in China right now. We haven't spent a Christmas together for three years,  Cas -"

"Angel. This is work. I don't want people knowing my name."

"Angel? Seriously?"

"Yeah." 

Russell rolled his eyes and downed another swig of beer. 

***

Half an hour later, Russell had another beer sitting in front of him and  Castiel  was walking out of another spreading of the joy of Christmas when he noticed someone else sitting at the table with Russell. 

"What the hell are you two doing talking?"  Castiel  inquired, dropping to sit between Gadreel and Russell. 

"Just catching up," King admitted. "Your little group over there is starting to get a little more rowdy as you work your way through them, Angel. Maybe you should consider taking them all back at-"

"Whoa there," Russell interrupted, hands raising to hover by his shoulders. "T-M-I." 

Both Gadreel and  Castiel  laughed,  Castiel  wincing as he straddled a chair. 

"How do you two even know each other?"  Castiel  asked, gesturing between them. 

"Russell stopped by when you lived with me sometimes. Most of the time it was when you were out, since that was when he didn't get a response from you apparently." 

"Not to mention that sometimes King here stops by the restaurant to pick up food." 

Castiel  laughed again. "Yeah, I forgot about that." 

When  Castiel  and Gadreel got together, it usually ended up with them drunk, high, and hungry. Their regular restaurant was the Chinese restaurant since it was close and Russell worked there and would deliver for free if he was able. 

The three continued talking until  Castiel  was summoned to the table of mostly drunk middle-aged men again. Sighing, he took another one of them to the private room. 

Three down, three to go. 

Luckily they paid him up to seventy-five dollars each. 

The third time he walked out of the area he made eye contact with King and Russell and rolled his eyes, smirking slightly as he went back to the register. Earlier in the day he had dropped his bag off at the register for easy access. He slid his tip into his bag and then returned to the table, sitting down with Russell and King. 

"Why don't you take the next one, King? I'm starting to smell like sex." 

"You always smell like sex," King replied. 

Russell chimed in at the same time, saying "This whole place smells like sex." 

"That is true,"  Castiel  sighed, leaning back in his seat. 

"So, what is it like, getting laid every day, multiple times a day?" Russell asked suddenly, head cocking to the side. 

Gadreel raised an eyebrow. "Well-"

"Do you remember when Coach Curtis made us run the mile five times in a row? Suicides?"

Russell closed his eyes and covered his face with a hand. "Do not remind me of Suicides. They made me want to... You know." 

"It's kind of like that sometimes."  Castiel  exhaled sharply, purposefully ignoring the hoots of the men in the corner. "It leaves you feeling like you could collapse." 

The bell on the door rang and  Castiel  groaned. "I swear to God, if it's someone looking for me and a quick fuck-"

"Not quite," Gadreel smiled, waving around  Castiel . "They are looking for you, though." 

Castiel  had his head in his arms on the table and when a warm slightly calloused hand brushed against his neck, he smiled. 

"What's Angel doing with his head on the table and his back all flushed and scratched up?" Dean asked. 

"Suicides," Russell replied, making  Castiel  and Gadreel laugh. 

"Excuse me?" Dean questioned, his fingers trailing against  Castiel's  back as he passed by. He sat down, catching  Castiel's  eye when  Castiel  propped his chin on his wrists and looked at the spot across from his own. Dean smiled at him, loosening his pale green tie as he did. 

"Suicides are something their track coach used to make them run. Five miles continuous," Gadreel explained. 

"And Angel here has done three guys in a row in the past twenty minutes." 

"Really?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, that's insane." 

"It's true."  Castiel  confirmed with a long sigh. 

"Hey, Angel! We've got another guy for you," came from the table across the way.  Castiel  groaned and slid off of his chair, putting on a fake smile and starting over to the group of men. 

"Angel, sit this one out. I can sacrifice one for the team," King mumbled, putting a hand on  Castiel's  shoulder. He leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Go back to your friend and boyfriend, kid." 

Castiel  smiled and whispered a soft thank you to Gadreel, relieved as fuck that he was able to relax for more than ten minutes now. He turned back and smiled at Dean and Russell, slowly making his way back toward the table. 

Halfway there, there came a shout from the table behind him. "Dude wants Angel, not you, asshole!" 

"Hey!" King barked, frowning when  Castiel  turned again to look at him. "You just made Angel over there do three of you in ten minutes. Either give him a fucking break and be polite or take me instead. Angel is not your personal fuck toy." 

"I  ain't  giving him a fuckin' break," the guy slurred, standing up and walking toward  Castiel  on shaky feet.  Castiel  pursed his lips and sighed. 

Taking one for the team is what he was used to. 

"Don't start the Christmas fight, King. I'll be fine."  Castiel  smiled and started toward the back rooms, catching Dean's eye as he walked by. 

Those green eyes held a worried fury that made  Castiel's  chest swell. 

Five minutes later,  Castiel  was walking out again, sighing with his eyes closed as he started toward the register. 

As he was walking, one of the men from the table grabbed his hand and tried to tug him back into the hallway again. 

Castiel  yanked his hand away. "Don't fucking touch me," he mumbled, lifting his hand to wipe his face. He started walking again but was stopped when his shoulder was grabbed by the guy. 

"I'm fuckin' paying, Angel, and you're getting the money. Don't act like this isn't what you're here for." 

Castiel  ground his teeth together and grabbed the guy's wrist, trying to shove him off. It was harder than it should have been with the man's drunken state. "I'm taking a fucking break, asshole. If you don't like it, go with King. If you don't want King, take your fucking business somewhere else." 

"Come on, baby-"

"No!"  Castiel  shouted, pushing the man away with all of his force when the man tried to curl an arm around his chest and drag him back anyway. There was a scraping of wood again tile when everyone in the club got to their feet. "I'm not some fucking toy for you and your horny friends to fuck inside out! Go fucking sit down, or fucking get out!" He was breathing heavily and shaking now that his emotions were coming out. 

Castiel  lowered his arm from where he had been pointing and turned around, fighting off the tears threatening as he went behind the counter. 

Hoping he was safe back there, he counted the money and put it away before bending over and putting his elbows on the counter, covering his face with his hands to hide the tears threatening in the corners of his eyes. He was just starting to catch his breath again and calm the shaking when he felt it. 

Fingers were peeling his panties down. 

When he tried to turn around and avoid it, his hips were grabbed with alarming strength. 

A sob broke out of him. 

It looked like he was going to get torn apart anyway, so why fight it? 

Then he heard foot steps and a shout. Then there was the sound of flesh hitting flesh, a sickening smack accompanied by a cracking noise.

Whatever hands that had been holding his hips were gone now and his underwear was being pulled up again by a soothing touch before a kiss was pressed to his ear and  Castiel  sunk into a crouch, feeling kind of numb and unsure of what else was happening around him but he knew there was some shouting and some kind of chiming and a rush of cold air and suddenly there was a hand touching his back and he was falling, his face crumpling and his head lighter than a feather as he started sobbing. His face was pressed into a neck and arms curled around his hunched shoulders, a hand gently rubbing his back as he tried to stop his sobs or at least muffle them but found it difficult to move. An arm slid down and slipped under his knees and suddenly he was lifted into the air and he vaguely felt the feeling of cold air again but he wasn't sure if it was that or if he was just shaking again. 

Castiel  was set down on a bed that smelled of sex and cologne and something else only slightly familiar. Gadreel's voice found his ears and he was covered with a coat that smelled like home, that smelled soothing and happy and like lime and peppermint. His hand curled around the leather of the coat and he felt himself trying harder to stop the sobs. Seconds later, an hand curved around the back of his head and he forced himself to open his eyes and look up. 

Gadreel smiled down at him from a seat on the bed, his fingers gently playing with  Castiel's  hair. "Don't worry,  Cas . Your guy is kicking everyone out so that you can have a bit of time." 

Castiel  smiled, twitching his lips up briefly. "Did he-"

"Punched that guy's lights out. I'm pretty sure he took his out to the alley and beat him to a pulp, too. You've snatched up a good one." 

Castiel  laughed softly. "Yeah, I think I have. He's a diamond." 

"More than a diamond," Gadreel mumbled, gently tapping  Castiel's  cheek. He helped  Castiel  sit up slowly. "He's a whole Tiffany's." 

Castiel  laughed again and nodded, eyes closing again. His hands still held onto the leather jacket. 

"Russell snatched that off the chair for you before he left. He told me to tell you he wants to stick around, but just as things were getting sticky his boss called and demanded him at the restaurant. Some kind of Christmas Story family situation going on." 

Another nod from  Castiel . His thumb ran over the smooth, worn leather of the jacket before he lifted it to his face and inhaled again. The scent of Dean's aftershave and cologne mixed with the leather and the cold scent lingering from the outside and created something all new, something  Castiel  couldn't place but something he loved instantly. 

A saccharine voice met his ears and he looked up, coat still raised to his face, meeting Dean's eyes. Within a second he was crying again, not out of fright but out of something else he didn't know. 

Gadreel gently petted  Castiel's  hair again before standing up and telling the couple that he was going to call the owner and let him know that they were closing for the moment and that they needed someone else in to sub for  Castiel  after that instance. 

Dean sat down next to  Castiel , lifting a shaky, bruised knuckled hand to  Castiel's  cheek.  Castiel  leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. Before he knew it he was sitting on Dean's lap, crying again and quaking with sudden fear. Dean's jacket was around his shoulders again but  Castiel  preferred the warm lime and peppermint and leather and- and- was that blood? Was that metallic scent blood? 

Castiel  tugged himself away and looked down at Dean's suit with a frown, seeing it was splattered with red dots. "Dean-"

"It's fine. I didn't kill him or anything. I just kind of... roughed him up." Dean was whispering to  Castiel , his smile soft and an attempt at soothing, but it was ruined by his split lip.  Castiel  sighed and gently touched the rip in skin with his thumb, the tip of his thumb brushing Dean's upper lip. Dean's smile fell and turned into a small wince. 

A whisper came next. It shocked  Castiel  that Dean could sound so broken and scared and imperfect in only a breath of air and five words. 

"I wanted to kill him." 

Blue eyes met green and held. 

What would have happened if Dean had killed that guy, even if it was an accident? Dean probably would have gone to jail.  Castiel  would have visited every time he could. He would have done anything he could to see Dean, even say he was someone else, someone that he wasn't, just to see his face. He would have done anything to have those apple green eyes on his, even if they were behind glass or something else. Yes, it would have killed him to see Dean with cuffs around his wrists, losing his position as a CEO of whatever company he was CEO of, being sent to jail for murder on Christmas day. All of that solely because some stranger tried to get  Castiel  back into the private rooms when he was sick of it. 

"I really did," Dean continued, looking like he was going to be sick. "I thought I was going to, too. I would have if I didn't know it would take me away from you,  Cas ." 

"You wouldn't have,"  Castiel  rasped, both hands lifting to Dean's cheeks. "You're too good to murder, Dean. Believe me, you are." 

Dean just bit his lip and exhaled slowly, gathering  Castiel  close against his chest again.  Castiel  felt Dean burrow into his hair and smiled slightly, clutching the back of Dean's suit jacket. 

They remained like that, cradling each other as close as possible in their silence, somehow comforting each other, for almost ten minutes.  Castiel  let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes, pulling away from Dean a little reluctantly. 

"I heard you yelling out there,"  Castiel  mumbled, lightly brushing his fingertips through Dean's golden brown hair. "You told those guys to get out."

Dean laughed slightly. "I just forced them out," Dean admitted, leaning in to brush his lips against  Castiel's  forehead. "King is the one who told me to get them out while he took care of you."

Nodding, Castiel slowly shifted off of Dean's lap. "We should probably go back out there, let him know everything's fine." Castiel stood up, and without thinking started clutching the leather jacket around himself again. It was still on his shoulders somehow, a comforting and warm weight. "I can still work. It just kind of-"

"You are not going to continue working today," Dean interrupted, frowning down at Castiel now that he was standing. "If you continue working today, you're going to end up hurt or something, Cas."

"I've done more than that," Castiel protested, fingernails gently digging into the material of the coat. "I'm fine, Dean. Don't fight me on this. I know the needs and the fucking borders of my own mind and body. I just needed a few minutes to calm down and now I'm fine." 

"Jesus Christ, Cas," Dean breathed, his hand rubbing across his mouth. "Don't fight me on this either. You were just almost..." Dean's words trailed off, like he wasn't able to voice tha action. 

"Raped? I know. It-" Inhaling a shaking breath suddenly seemed like the most exhausting thing Castiel had ever done. "It's happened before, the close call stuff. Sure, it was never as bad as that, but I'm used to it. It's a part of working as a type of prostitute! I'm perfectly fine and on-game again." 

Staring seemed to be all Dean could do for  a few seconds. "Cas-"

"I'm finishing my shift, and that's the fucking end of it, Dean. Let's go." 

"Dammit, Cas!" Dean yelled, grabbing his arm before Castiel could open the door. "You were almost raped ten minutes ago, Angel, don't act like you're suddenly perfectly fine. That takes time, it takes adjusting. You're putting on some type of air and it's so obvious that you're still shaken up and scared! God fucking knows that King wouldn't let you finish the shift anyway, so why fucking fight about it? You're being stubborn as fuck and it's annoying as hell!"

Castiel steeled his expression into a vacant one, yanking his arm away from Dean. "If I'm stubborn as fuck and annoying as hell, why don't you just leave? I'm not willing to put up with your bullshit, Dean. I'm not going to let you go from caring and comforting to shouting and angry in a matter of half a second just because I want to fucking work. Remember me? I'm the psychology major. I know when I'm not able to work and when I am, and I'm fucking able to work." 

"Fuck- Cas-"

"Leave. Go home, go find your brother, something. I'm going to finish this shift and call you after that. I don't want to deal with your shouting or worried looks right now." Castiel lifted a hand and wiped his own cheek absently, then opened the door. He walked out of the room with a hunch that Dean would follow him anyway. His hands dug into the fabric of the leather jacket again before he slid it off of his shoulders. 

Once they were in the main room again, Castiel leaned up and pressed a kiss to Dean's cheek as he pressed the jacket into his hands. 

"Cas, I don't-"

"Go." 

Dean sighed and caught Castiel's lips in a kiss before sliding his arms into his jacket sleeves. "Call me later." 

"I will." 

***

Later, Castiel was laying alone in bed, considering just staying there until he  realized he had told dean he would call him.

Great.

After a few minutes of consideration, Castiel sat up and got dressed again. He left his hair alone, slid on a t-shirt and jeans, and left with his coat on his torso and his bag slung over his shoulder. Glasses perched on his nose, he took the bus to Dean's house.

When he showed up, there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Castiel cursed under his breath and shivered at the chill of the night, wondering if it was okay to come in or not. He didn't want to risk another fight or possibly out their relationship since Castiel didn't want anyone knowing Dean was dating a stripper, but he wanted to see Dean. He wanted to apologize to Dean, let him know he was sorry and that it was Christmas, for God's sake, he wanted to spend it with his boyfriend. 

Just as he made his decision to turn around and go back to the bus stop to let Dean enjoy the rest of his night, the front door opened. 

"Hey!" someone shouted, a voice that wasn't particularly familiar to Castiel. The voice was feminine and slightly familiar, but Castiel couldn't place a face. "Stop! Come back here!"

Castiel started walking faster, eyes on the ground. 

"It's cold out here! It's, like, negative five degrees! Come inside," the voice lowered to normal speaking level as the girl reached Castiel. By now, two other figures were in the doorway. 

When Castiel turned to meet the girl's eyes and tell her he was okay, that he didn't live far away, he realized one of those figures was Dean. His voice failed him, suddenly. 

"Come on," she insisted, tugging on his arm. "Inside you go. Dean! We've got another guest."

"Jess, it's late. Why are you forcing someone to come inside? Whoever it is looks like a kid from here. Are you kidnapping someone?" Dean teased from the doorway, leaning against the frame idly, jeans slung low on his hips, a Henley fitting tight against his chest and arms. It was a change from the usual suits Castiel saw, and he really enjoyed it. 

His eyes met Dean's and Dean's jaw twitched along with the corner of his lips. "On second thought..." Dean trailed off, elbowing the tall guy standing next to him. 

Castiel recognized Sasquatch from that first day with Dean. He had been the one to interrupt their little tryst and drag Dean away from the club. His... brother? 

"Out of the way, Sammy. Let the dude in, it's freezing outside." 

Sam's eyebrow raised and his eyes landed on the girl that was pushing Castiel into the house. Castiel sighed and allowed himself to be pushed inside, his eyes down now that he was in the presence of Dean and his brother and whoever the girl was. 

Dean told his brother and Jess that he could take care of him and shooed them away, telling then to go back to drinking, maybe pour their guest a drink. Jess agreed happily, grabbing Sam's hand and dragging him with her. 

"You didn't call," Dean whispered after a second, taking Castiel's coat and hanging it on the hook next to the door. He tried to take Castiel's bag, but Cas held onto it. 

"I know," Castiel mumbled, looking anywhere but at Dean. "I was..." With a sigh, he looked up and met Dean's eyes. "I was kind of hoping you were home alone. Didn't you say your brother was out of town?"

"They had a last minute change of plans," Dean replied, his fingers brushing hair off of Castiel's forehead. "It would have been nice to have some warning." 

"Yeah, well..." Castiel muttered, licking his lips. "I'm sorry. I overreacted earlier and I shouldn't have made you leave. You were just worried." 

"Cas- man- I said some harsh things too. I'm not trying to justify my actions or anything because I really do think you shouldn't have finished the shift, but it's not my decision. It was yours and I shouldn't have messed with that." Dean mumbled, his hand dropping from Castiel's hair to his cheek. 

Smiling, Castiel relaxed slightly. "That was apology enough," he whispered, reaching up with both hands. His hands rested on Dean's cheeks and he pressed a chaste kiss to Dean's pretty lips. Without warning, Dean pulled him closer by the waist and kissed him deeply. Once he stopped he smiled against Castiel's lips. 

"Mistletoe above you: I took my opportunity." 

Castiel laughed, maybe a little louder than he should have since they were keeping this a secret, and kissed Dean again to cut off his stupidly intoxicating laugh. His heels lifted off of the floor as he leaned up into it, arms shaking around Dean's neck to drag him as close as possible. Dean let out a tiny grunt of annoyance when Castiel avoided his tongue again, making Castiel chuckle and tangle his hands in Dean's short hair. Dean playfully smacked Castiel's lower back and Castiel laughed again, drawing another long kiss from Dean. 

"Well, Dean," a voice teased from the doorway. "Your way of greeting people has definitely changed since that whole 'social anxiety' thing when we were younger."

Dean pulled away from Castiel slowly, smiling as he did. "Cas, this is Sam. Sam, this is Cas." 

"Nice to meet you, Cas," Sam smiled, holding out a flute of champagne. 

"You too, Sam," Castiel laughed, accepting the champagne happily. "I- I really wish we could have meet under better circumstances."

"Really it's not your first time meeting," Dean chimed in, lowering his own glass from his lips. "Remember?"

"I do," Castiel sighed, shooting a glare at Dean. That was when he remembered he had his glasses on. 

Sam's head was cocked slightly, his eyes holding this 'confused puppy' look that somehow made Castiel's heart warm up a little. He wondered if Dean ever got that look. "We've met before?"

"Yeah," Castiel interrupted, preventing Dean from talking again. "On campus at school. We ran into each other, dropped books..." 

"Oh, oh yeah, I remember," Sam nodded, mumbling to himself. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." Castiel smiled, glad Sam had bought the story. He slid his bag off of his shoulders and glanced up at Dean. "Can I put this upstairs?"

"Sure," Dean replied, accepting Castiel's drink. "You know where it is."

Castiel nodded and excused himself as he walked past Sam and up the stairs, into Dean's bedroom. He dropped his bag by the bed and sank down to sit on the edge of the bed elbows on his knees and face in his hands. This was the exact situation he was trying to avoid. He and Dean weren't serious enough yet for him to meet his brother, but of course that was what happened. Wasn't that always what happened? 

How could he avoid telling them his profession? It was going to be especially difficult with Dean tipsy and already dropping hints about it. Lying seemed to be the only way around it, and Castiel didn't like lying to people. Dean would see straight through the lies, too, so that was useless.

All Castiel could do was tell the truth. 

Castiel stood up from the bed and let out a long sigh. What a fucking Christmas this was so far. 

The door to the bedroom opened and Dean poked his head in, looking a little worried. "You okay, baby?"

"Perfectly fine," Castiel smiled, running a hand through his hair, realizing that was a bad idea because it messed it up further. "I just needed to think a little bit."

"Jess wants to meet you," Dean mumbled, stepping into the room. He licked his lips and raised a hand to the back of his neck, something Castiel recognized from his class at school. It showed discomfort. 

"Dean, what's wrong?"

Dean's eyes darted up to meet Castiel's and make him frown slightly. Castiel made his way over to Dean and gently tugged on Dean's wrist. He took Dean's hand in his own. 

"Tell me, Dean. You can't hide it from me," Castiel teased, his own hand lifting to settle on the back of Dean's neck, his thumb brushing against Dean's hairline. 

"I just had something planned. I wanted you to meet Sam, I really did, but now that it's happening out of nowhere and I'm drunk and you're- you're- you're you and looking amazing even if you look tired. I'm just-"

"Uncomfortable? Scared?"

Dean nodded slowly. "A little bit. Cas, I'm not good with words, and I'm even worse with them when I'm drunk. You can't count on me for anything right now- fuck, that sounded horrible." Dean cursed and raised his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Castiel smiled and kissed the tip of Dean's nose. "Everything will be okay, Dean. That's what I was thinking of. I don't care if they know as long as you don't care. I want you to be happy and comfortable in your own home just as much as you want to be happy and comfortable." His hands curled around Dean's face as he pressed a loving kiss to his lips. When he pulled back, they slid down to Dean's chest. 

"Does that sound okay?"

"It sounds perfect," Dean whispered, his eyes closed as he grabbed one of Castiel's hands. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Castiel replied, his palm hitting against Dean's chest again. "Let's go downstairs. I want to officially meet Jess too."


	7. The Trip

The clock hit midnight and  Castiel  jumped on Dean, kissing him lovingly. He'd literally been waiting all night to do so; Dean hadn't let him kiss him after 5 p.m.. His lips tore into Dean's, a welcome first moment for the new year.    
Dean laughed as they pulled apart, tipsy and bubbling with excitement from the quartet's mini celebration. Sam and Jess pulled apart a few seconds after  Castiel  and Dean, Sam lowering Jess's drink again and pouring some into her mouth.  Castiel  grinned and looked back at Dean, leaning up to kiss him again.    
"Happy new year!"    
Everyone else replied at the same time, making every single one of them dissolve into drunken laughter.  Castiel's  hand slowly slid down Dean's chest, making Dean smirk down at him and whisper against his temple. 

"Want to go celebrate upstairs?"

***

Castiel  grinned, sliding into Dean's office undetected. 

"Poor security for an insurance company," he whispered under his breath, sliding into Dean's chair with a grin. He'd snuck his way through the practically empty top floor and into Dean's office, where he'd expected to find Lisa sitting outside but had been greeted with an empty desk. 

He'd found out the company and the address two days earlier, when he had been at Dean's house before school. Absently rifling through the files on the counter while Dean changed into his usual suit for work had gotten  Castiel  a glimpse of the address and name of the company. 

Crowley Insurance Agency headquarters was the name. If you asked  Cas , they needed to up their game a little bit. 

He spun in the office chair, facing away from the door and picking up a pen on Dean's desk as he did. He spun the pen between his fingers, looking out the window quietly. His eyes wandered the afternoon sky, tracing and retracing the curve of every cloud and landing on the sun for barely half a second before flicking away to watch a bird fly by or to watch light reflect off of the water far below. 

Castiel  heard talking a few seconds later and smiled, stretching his hearing to try and make sense of the words. It was definitely Dean speaking animatedly about something, but  Castiel  couldn't make sense of it. He heard the click of a door and grinned wider, spinning around in the chair as he did. 

His eyes rested on Dean's shocked ones first, then moved to meet cat-like eyes in a green that almost rivaled Dean's. Immediately regretting his decision, he licked his lips and glanced down. 

" Cas ?" Dean asked, his voice more stern than  Castiel  had been expecting.  Castiel  flinched slightly at the tone. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"You have a phone," Dean sighed, sounding annoyed. 

"In person,"  Cas  clarified, risking a glance at Dean to find him with his hand rubbing down his face. His eyes immediately flicked back down.

"I can come back," the woman next to Dean stated, British voice lilting.  Castiel  risked a look at her and found her smirking slightly, tall in her heels and stylish dress. Light brown hair fell over one shoulder in waves, pinned off to that side. "It's not a problem."

"No, no," Dean waved his hand. "It's okay, Ms. Talbot. Just..." Dean's eyes met  Castiel's  for a second. "I'll escort  Castiel  out and he can talk to me while we walk. Feel free to stick around." His hand rested for a second on this Ms. Talbot's shoulder before he pointedly looked at  Castiel , who rose out of the chair easily. He smiled and apologized to Ms. Talbot as he passed, enjoying her laughter without admitting it. 

Dean's hand rested on  Castiel's  elbow as he steered him to the door and then to the elevator. They stepped inside and Dean removed his hand from  Castiel's  elbow, instead hitting  Castiel's  arm with it. "What the hell do you think you are doing?!"

"I wanted to surprise you for your birthday,"  Castiel  sighed, still avoiding Dean's eye. He kept his eyes trained on the doors of the elevator, crossing his arms. "You've been so stressed out lately because of work and I have a day off from the club and from school; I was going to try and convince you to take some time and calm down. My idea backfired, though. I'm sorry if I ruin anything."

" Cas ," Dean mumbled, his arm brushing against  Castiel's  back. "You had your intentions in the right place. I'll give you points for that, but next time you want to show up unannounced, call before."

"Then it's not unannounced,"  Cas  deadpanned, glancing at Dean from the corner of his eye. 

Dean's laugh made  Castiel's  lips twitch slightly. "That's the point, though." Fingers ghosted against  Castiel's , making him inhale deeply. "Look,  Cas , the next time you want to do something like this, call first. It'll make it easier."

"Maybe I prefer things difficult,"  Castiel  mumbled, crossing his arms tighter and shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe I want to be able to surprise you at work without you getting pissed."

" Castiel , don't do this. You're the one who said you didn't want our relationship-"

"Yeah, I know. It's my fault. Don't worry about it, Dean. I'll see you at the restaurant later, all cheery and new again. I'm sorry." The elevator doors opened and  Castiel  smiled over his shoulder at Dean, putting on a happy air as he stepped out. 

***

Two weeks later, on Valentine's Day, Dean was out of town for business.  Castiel  stayed at his own home, alone, watching romantic comedies just for the sake of watching them and eating Chinese take-out for the first night in a week. 

His phone started ringing as he finished watching 500 Days of Summer. Without checking the ID, he hit answer and spoke. "Hello?"

"What are you wearing, sweetheart?" A deep, sultry voice replied, tugging a laugh from  Castiel . 

"Khakis," he answered, chuckling. "What about you, big guy?"

"Well, I wish I was wearing you, but..." 

Castiel  laughed at that, a full out laugh. It was refreshing; he hadn't laughed like that for three days, which was how long Dean had been gone. "God, we're bad at this phone sex thing."

"Oh, baby, you have no idea how good I am at phone sex." 

"You'll have to show me sometime,"  Castiel  teased, leaning back into the couch. "Hello, Dean."

"Hey,  Cas ," Dean's voice drew out the words, making  Castiel  grin even more. "What's my angel doing tonight?"

"Watching movies even though he should be doing schoolwork,"  Castiel  sighed. "Recovering from the club."

"Is it getting worse?" Concern laced the words, painting a picture of Dean's face in his mind. He'd gotten a picture of Dean's motel room when he'd first arrived, so he could even picture the surroundings. 

"Not really. It's just always busy on Valentine's. This is the first one I've had off since I started working there." 

"Everyone deserves a day off."

"True. What are you doing tonight, Dean?"

"Laying in bed, wishing you were here," Dean replied, voice sounding muffled, "and wishing I was there."

"Sounds like torture,"  Castiel  mumbled, smiling softly. He tilted his head back against the couch cushion, picking up a fork and chasing a noodle around his plate just because he was bored. 

"It is. Hearing that damned voice of yours and being able to envision you laying on the couch in your apartment, probably surrounded by take-out, all hot with your t-shirt riding up past your waistband and letting your hips show is torture."

"Do you have a fucking camera in here?"  Castiel  laughed, running a hand through his mess of hair. "I swear to God, you got every detail of that correct."

"It's a talent," Dean sighed. "Happy Valentine's Day,  Cas ."

"Happy Valentine's to you too, Dean."

"Did you get the flowers?"

A grin split  Castiel's  cheeks. "Yes, I did. They're gorgeous and they're sitting in my bedroom right now."

"Good. I take it you like them?"

"I love them. I don't know how you knew  plumerias  and carnations are my favorites, but you did."

"But I did," Dean chirped, accompanied by a small rustling. 

"Are you in bed now?"

"Sadly, yes," Dean whispered. 

"I hate time differences,"  Castiel  sighed. His mood slowly plummeted. "Do you want to do what we did last night?"

"Can we please?" Dean replied, another rustling catching  Castiel's  ears. "I'd really like it."

"I would too." 

"Goodnight, Dean."

"Goodnight, Angel."

At the nickname,  Castiel's  fingers raised to the pendant that was constantly around his neck. He toyed with it for a few seconds before standing up and changing the movie to The Proposal. When he reached the couch again, he dropped down to lay on it, eyes closing as he listened to just the sound of Dean's soft breathing. 

A few minutes or maybe seconds later,  Castiel  sighed and rubbed the pendant again before whispering. "Are you still awake?"

It took a second for Dean to reply. "Yeah."

"I'm excited for you to come home tomorrow."

"I'm excited too," Dean whispered. "The only thing I want to do is kiss you."

"The only thing I want you to do is fuck me into the mattress."

"That’s my boy," Dean teased. "Think about the fucking, not the sweetness of being back with each other."

"I've thought about both plenty,"  Castiel  laughed. 

"Good. Tell me about something nice."

"Like you fucking me?"

"No, something... cute." 

"Cute... Cute... Cute..."  Castiel  mumbled as he thought, eyes closing again. "Have I ever told you about that one time that someone brought her infant into the club because she wanted a drink and she accidentally left the baby?"

Dean's laugh cut through the momentary silence. "No, but I'd sure as hell love to hear it." 

The next morning,  Castiel  woke on the couch next to his ringing phone. He groaned and hit answer, then hitting speakerphone. He groaned again as a hello. 

"You need a ride to the airport?" Gadreel asked, making  Castiel  groan again. 

"Possibly. Why are you volunteering?"

"It's the day after Valentine's Day,  Cas , and you're laying at home alone. I want to participate in your recapture of your man." 

"You're not participating in the sex,"  Cas  replied, sitting up and picking up the phone. Gadreel laughed. "I have about an hour until his flight comes in. Think you can meet me here in about half an hour?" 

"Gladly," Gadreel chirped. 

"It still disturbs me, you know. How much of a morning person you are." 

"You're just jealous of it. Go get ready." 

Half an hour later,  Castiel  was sliding into the passenger seat of Gadreel's car, grinning. His leg bounced the whole way to the airport as he and Gadreel chatted almost absently. 

"You know," Gadreel announced after a few beats of silence. They were almost at the airport. "I'm thinking about asking Russell out." 

Well, that was one way to get  Castiel's  attention. 

"Excuse me?"  Castiel  asked, turning to gape at Gadreel. "Russell isn't gay-"

"If you actually listen sometimes, bucko, you'll hear some amazing things. Use your eyes, too." Gadreel smirked, glancing at  Cas . "He's been stopping by the club more often lately, claiming he's looking for you, but he sits down and has a drink even if you aren't there. He's also got quite the wandering eye." 

"So he's curious,"  Castiel  deadpanned, shrugging off the accusations about his friend. "I think you should ask him. If you're his first boyfriend I'd be completely content. You'd treat him right." 

Gadreel smiled and clapped  Castiel  on the shoulder. "Thank you," Gadreel laughed. "And here's your stop." 

"Thank you for driving me, Gadreel,"  Castiel  smiled, grabbing Gadreel's hand and squeezing it. "I'll text you." 

"You'd better, Angel. Have fun today." 

"Oh, believe me, I will."  Castiel  winked and slid out of the car, leaning in again as he grabbed his bag. "You go back to that restaurant and ask Russell out. Treat him nice." 

"Will do, Sir." Gadreel saluted, then waved and drove away. 

Castiel  bought himself a coffee from Starbucks and checked his phone periodically to make sure Dean hadn't gotten in early. He already knew how terrified of flying Dean was and he wished he could be there to help him and make him feel better, but he knew Dean was probably sleeping thanks to his pill that helped him get over it. 

At 10 a.m.,  Castiel  stood up and wandered over to the baggage claim, leaning against the wall with his mug in his hand and a smile on his face. He watched the heads of everybody in the coming crowd. 

As soon as he saw the familiar one, he stepped off of the wall. His arm slid around Dean's shoulders, making Dean turn his head, frown on his face. His eyes instantly brightened when he saw  Cas , but he didn't do what  Castiel  had been expecting when he'd decided to surprise Dean at the airport. 

Instead, he shoved his arm off of his shoulders, greeting him with a small smile. 

"Nice to see you again," a British voice drawled, making  Castiel's  heart stop. He sighed. "It's  Cas , correct?"

"Yes,"  Castiel  smiled politely, looking over Dean's shoulder. "It's  Cas ." 

Ms. Talbot and smiled and nodded, looking dapper as ever in a slimming dress, long cost, and heels. Her curls bounced. 

Dean looked down at his shoes and then glanced back up at  Castiel , who caught his eye and glared at him. The look said "You're so dead for not warning me." 

"By the by, my first name is  Bela . I don't mind if you call me Ms. Talbot, but outside of work I would much prefer  Bela ."  Bela  looked over at  Castiel . "It seems we may be seeing much of each other, with how much you hang around Dean here." 

"It seems so,"  Castiel  replied. Dean's fingers brushed against  Castiel's  and he moved his hand away quickly, covering by scratching his cheek. Dean sighed and kept quiet. 

Bela  looked between the two of them before grabbing her luggage from the conveyor belt. Dean grabbed his own and  Castiel  sighed. He looked away, behind them, until  Bela  spoke. She used one hand to gesture between them, smirk on her perfectly colored lips. "If you two weren't brothers, I'd tell you that I think you should have angry sex when you're through fighting." 

Both men stared in shock after her, watching her walk away.  Castiel  pursed his lips and took a deep breath, schooling himself into a blank expression when Dean tried to grab his hand again. His yanked his hand away and crossed his arms, watching the hurt cross Dean's face.  

" Cas -"

"The only reason I'm going to get into your car and go with you right now is because I'm too pissed off to ride the bus." 

Dean simply imitated him under his breath, making  Castiel  roll his eyes and follow after him. 

A few minutes later,  Castiel  was sitting in the passenger seat, wishing he hadn't thrown his coffee away on their way out. He toyed with the strap of his bag, chewing on his cheek. 

"You can drop me off at home, if you'd like," he muttered, staring out of the window. 

Dean stayed quiet and drove. The angry silence in the car pulsed around them, weighing in on their chests and making them just want to explode on the other but also keeping them from being the first to break the silence. 

When Dean passed the road to  Castiel's  house,  Castiel  turned to look at him angrily. Dean was frowning slightly; the look his eyes held was cold, irritated, and amused. He pulled into his own driveway a few minutes later, sliding out of the car.  Castiel  got out and stomped his way to the door, pissed beyond belief that Dean was doing this. Dean opened the door and let  Castiel  step inside first, slamming the door behind him once he was inside. He immediately shed his coat as  Castiel  dropped his bag on the floor. 

Dean carried his suitcase upstairs and  Castiel  followed. He wanted to be near Dean, but he also wanted to scream at him and punch him until he begged for forgiveness. Dean unzipped the suitcase after slamming it onto the bed, grabbing a handful of clothes to throw into the clothes hamper. 

Castiel  caught a glimpse of a foil package and felt his pent up anger explode. "Was that a fucking condom?"

"Maybe," Dean quipped, still moving clothes. 

Castiel  frowned and cracked his thumb, trying to keep the anger inside. He watched Dean, catching a glimpse of something that definitely wasn't Dean's. "A fucking pair of tights?"

" Bela  must have left them crowded in my clothes," Dean mused, plucking them out of the laundry. 

"You fucking her? I mean, the condom, the tights, not telling me that you were out of town with her..."  Castiel  asked, angry smile on his lips. "I'd get it if you were. She is hot as fuck." A laugh tore from his lips. Dean finished moving the clothes and  Castiel  flipped the suitcase closed, zipping it up with a flourish that he wished had hit Dean. He picked it up and carried it to the closet, still fuming. 

" Cas -"

"No. You don't deserve to fucking speak, Dean Winchester."  Castiel  threw the suitcase on the floor and turned around, advancing on Dean. "Your fucking brother? That's a fucking lie if I've ever heard one. Not to mention the fact that every time I show up, she's hanging on you and you act like a little kid torn between two divorced parents. You're probably fucking her. Most likely fucking her, actually. Why else would you have a fucking condom in your bag?"

Castiel  slammed a hand against Dean's chest, pushing him down onto the bed. He licked his lips and straddled Dean's lap, letting his breath ghost against Dean's lips as he leaned in. "I bet she let you fuck her nice and hard to let go of that anger you had toward your job." He leaned away right when Dean tried to capture his lips. His hands smoothed down Dean's chest. "That bitch let your hands graze against her thighs until you couldn't stand it and tore that dress off of her and tore those tights off of her, making her smirk and shove you back against the wall." His fingers toyed with a button on his shirt. "She let you put those pretty little fingers to use to make her nice and ready for you after you slammed her onto the bed." As he finished the sentence,  Castiel  braced his hand against Dean's chest and pushed with all of his might, shoving Dean down into the bed so hard that it squeaked and Dean's head bounced back up for a second.  Castiel's  wet lips and heated breath brushed against his jaw. "She moaned and squirmed beneath you, fucking you in deep and then even deeper until she acted like she was coming." He smirked at Dean's labored breath and groan and hooked his fingers in the gaps between buttons on Dean's shirt. As he pulled the shirt apart, buttons popping off, he breathed against Dean's neck. "I bet she told you it was the best she ever had but she lied. She didn't even fucking come." His tongue pressed against Dean's collarbone as he bit roughly, knowing he would leave teeth marks, grinding down against Dean. His lips trailed back up to Dean's ear, where he pressed them against his cheekbone and whispered. "Did she call you daddy while she took everything you had? I bet her moans were just a constant string of "Oh, daddy, fuck me, daddy."" 

Castiel  relished in the sound of Dean's long, guttural moan and in the way he could feel Dean's muscles tensing beneath him. His teeth dragged against Dean's earlobe, pushing another moan out of Dean. Dean's hands clawed against  Castiel's  legs. 

"You liked being called daddy, didn't you? Made you feel nice and important. Made you fuck harder, made a scream rip from your lips as you came." 

" Cas , you fucking-"

Castiel  smirked and silenced Dean by letting his breath brush against the top of his waistband. "I bet you did it every night. Every fucking night, the same every time, making you feel strong and powerful with a submissive little slut underneath you every night." His tongue wet the skin above his slacks before his teeth undid the button torturously slow. "You're liking this, aren't you, Dean?"  Castiel  whispered, hurriedly tearing Dean's pants and underwear off of him so that he was only wearing his ripped open shirt, suit jacket, and untied tie.  Castiel  let his tongue brush against Dean's length, enjoying the shudder it tugged out of Dean's form. As  Castiel  moved back up Dean's body, he schooled his expression into a blank slate again. His eyes met Dean's and Dean licked his own lips, heated, aroused eyes on  Castiel's . "You want me to call you daddy, Dean? You liked being called daddy?" 

That's when the tables turned and Dean hooked one naked leg around  Castiel's  waist and flipped them, ending up straddling  Castiel's  body, hands on either side of  Castiel's  head.  Castiel  was gasping for air, aroused by that one simple move only because it was Dean. Dean, the guy who was always polite to him and fucked him nice and bought him things and treated him nicer than any customer ever had. Dean's hands tore his pants down, underwear accompanying the departure, as  Castiel  tugged his own shirt off as fast as possible. Dean's lips met  Castiel's  in a violent action and  Castiel  groaned as loud as he could, his fingers tangling in Dean's hair and pulling him down further. Their hips and cocks rubbed together as their anger started to turn into something more passionate and intimate, their labored breaths like remnants of that anger leaving their bodies.  Castiel  shoved the shirt from Dean's shoulders and moaned when Dean's mouth latched onto his neck and pulled blood to the surface, leaving a large purple mark that felt like heaven.

Within seconds, Dean was grabbing  Castiel's  ass and digging his fingernails into the skin, lips dragging against  Castiel's  as he fucked him into the mattress.  Castiel's  moans were loud but breathy and short as he clutched at anything he could, his fingers digging deep into Dean's back and drawing a tiny bit of blood. Dean's pace sped up until  Castiel  was moaning his name, moaning "Daddy..." Every word he breathed was like a word of worship, tumbling from his lips like the bedroom was church and the bed was a pew and Dean was the God he was worshipping and praying to. The last one was a shout of Dean's name, broken in the middle and shaky as both men came, still moving against each other and latched onto each other like there would be no tomorrow if they let go. 

Dean slowly pulled himself out of  Castiel , eliciting a shiver from  Castiel , and fell off to the side as they caught their breath and calmed their racing hearts down. Dean's voice was rasping and breathy from the shout he'd let erupt out of his gut as he came only minutes before when he spoke. 

"I didn't fuck  Bela ." He took a deep breath through his mouth.  Castiel  turned his head to look at him, to watch the way his bleeding lower lip moved when he was speaking. "She never called me daddy and she never let me do any of those things. I didn't even want to,  Cas . That was all in your own mind."  Castiel  stayed silent, fascinated in the way Dean's lip had blood beading on the edge and in the fact that he had caused that bleeding. "She's the CEO of our opposing company and I'm trying to get close to her to find out how to rise past them. This trip was a conference that she had to attend and a dinner she wanted me to go to simply because she didn't have her boyfriend in town, let alone in the country." Another shuddering breath later, Dean continued. "I've been feeding her false information about our company and making her think we're going to plummet into the toilet, but really it's the opposite." A long pause stretched between them, full of labored breaths and the shifting of skin against fabric as they tried to get closer. Dean whispered his next words. "I had to tell her you're my brother so that she didn't think I was some kind of political guy who can't keep his dick in his pants. You being a brother explained the closeness of us as well, along with the sudden shifts in moods. It also abided to your rules of keeping us a secret." 

Castiel  barely pressed his lips to Dean's since he was having trouble moving. "I'm sorry for overreacting. Jealousy is something that's hard to control, Dean." 

"I know. It takes all of my willpower not to show up at the club and yell that you're quitting and drag you away with me,  Cas ." 

"On some days I wish you would,"  Castiel  whispered, eyes closing. "I'd much rather be spending my time with you, the one that I love, and not those fucks who see me as a cheap quickie." 

Dean laughed softly. "I love you too, Angel." 

Castiel  opened his eyes again and frowned at Dean, confused as to why Dean had said that. Had the angry, rough sex they'd just had made Dean think he loved him? Or was it the jealous actions of earlier? Or... His eyes widened and he caught Dean's wide, lopsided grin.

"And there's the moment I've been waiting for," Dean whispered. 

Castiel  lifted his fingers to his own lower lip, worrying it between his finger and thumb gently as he stared at Dean. The action was an old habit he had when he was younger. He didn't know what to do or say. The moment was still lingering in the air, growing as the two stared at each other, eyes wandering, but neither knew what to do to relieve the moment and bring it to a close. Dean's hand lifted and gently paused  Castiel's  movement.  Castiel  smiled and laced his fingers with Dean's, squeezing lightly. 

He watched when Dean's eyes flicked down to his collarbone, where he could feel the necklace moving as he rolled onto his side. Dean's smile grew somehow, making  Castiel  grin and lean in to wipe the smile away with his lips. Dean whispered against the kiss, sending vibrations through  Castiel's  body with his words. "I love you." 

"I love you too,"  Castiel  sighed, his free hand lifting to press against Dean's chest when Dean turned onto his side. Lips pressed against the tip of  Castiel's  nose. 

"I missed you." 

"I missed you too." 

"I missed this." 

"I missed this too."  Castiel  chuckled. 

"I think you're hot as hell." Dean teased, letting go of  Castiel's  hand and moving his own to  Castiel's  back. 

"I think you're hot as hell, too,"  Castiel  mumbled, hand snaking around Dean's waist. 

"I want to fuck like that more often." 

"I want to fuck like that more often, too,"  Castiel  laughed, shaking his head. "No more." 

"No more? Why not?" Dean pouted, fingers toying with  Castiel's  lip now.  Castiel  bit the tip of Dean's finger jokingly. 

"Because you're bleeding on the blanket, Dean." 

"Oh, fuck," Dean laughed, sitting up.  Castiel  laughed and gently kissed his hip before sliding off of the bed and ruffling Dean's messy hair. Dean stuck out his tongue at him and laughed. 

After finding the disinfectant and band aids,  Castiel  walked back into the bedroom to find Dean sliding a pair of boxers on. He tossed a pair to  Castiel  and turned to close the door. As  Castiel  started to pull the boxers on, he caught a glimpse of Dean's lower back and winced. There was a long smear of blood on his back, still bright and terrifying.  Castiel  sucked in a breath, which caused Dean to turn around quickly and frown. 

"This isn't going to cut it,"  Cas  sighed, holding a hand out to Dean. "Bathroom. Come on." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Like I said in the last note, I'm posting slower now. I'm still in school, after all, and I'm working as fast as I can to get the chapters done and get them to the best quality possible. Thank you for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting!   
> I've got one request this time:  
> What do you guys think of Bela from the little introduction in this chapter? ;-)


	8. The Other Trip

"Choose one," Dean insisted, holding out the bag. "I chose a bunch of them and I can return the ones you don't want."    
Castiel pursed his lips and took the bag, letting Dean walk into the apartment. He watched as Dean slid his jacket off and draped it over the arm of the couch, rolling his eyes when the taller man bent down to scoop up old take-out containers and take them to the trash in the kitchen. He opened the bag and raised an eyebrow, sitting down on the couch to look at the multiple leather jackets in the bag.    
"I had to guess your size," Dean admitted as he entered the room again, dropping to sit next to Castiel on the couch. "Personally, I like the light tan one more than the others for you."    
Castiel grinned and ran his fingers over the leather, enjoying the feeling. "Can I do a fashion show and let you choose the best one?" He chuckled, turning to look at Dean and getting a kiss instead of the smirk and eye-roll he had been expecting.   Just when Castiel started melting into it, Dean pulled away and lightly smacked his lower back. 

"Work that ass for me," Dean grinned, lifting his hand to barely comb his fingers through Castiel's short hair. "You got a haircut."

"Yeah," Castiel confirmed, standing up with the bag in his hand. He continued speaking as he walked into the bedroom, unrolling the sleeves of his white button up shirt as he walked. "I meant to get one in December, but I didn't get to it."

"I liked your hair shaggy," Dean called  from the sofa, making Castiel laugh. "It was easier to grab when we fucked." 

Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head, not responding to that one. He set the bag on the bed and tugged out the first jacket he grabbed, which happened to be a coppery color. He slid into the jacket, moving his arms around for a second to make it more comfortable before grinning and walking out of the room. He lifted his arms and laughed when Dean leaned forward and grinned. 

"It's not as good as I thought it would be, but it does look nice. Do you like it?"

"Not as much as I thought I would when I first pulled it out of the bag," Castiel admitted, looking in the mirror just outside of his bedroom. "Another one?"

"Another one," Dean agreed, smiling as he nodded. 

They went through all of them until they found one they both liked. They finally settled on the dark brown one with navy blue lining. Dean liked the way it fit Castiel's body and the color of it, while Castiel liked the way it felt and the way it looked. Of course, it went without mentioning that he loved how similar to Dean's it looked. He shrugged it off and hung it in his closet, folding the others and putting them back in the bag. He brought the bag back out to Dean and smiled, holding it out to Dean, who was now standing. 

When Dean reached for it, Castiel pulled it just out of his reach. They continued the little game of cat-and-mouse until Dean huffed and grabbed Castiel's waist. He pressed his lips against Castiel's, this time letting Castiel melt into the kiss and lean into him. Castiel smiled into the kiss and lowered his arm, dropping the bag with a heavy thunk and a crinkle of paper. His hand lifted and landed on Dean's bicep, making Dean smile back and tug him a little closer. 

They pulled away slowly and Dean picked up the bag, eyes on Castiel's. Castiel smiled and let his fingers playfully brush through Dean's short hair. "I'm going to cook tonight. Do you want to stick around, have dinner?"

Watching Dean consider the offer was one of the most interesting things in the world. His eyes lit up and then darkened again for half a second before he looked away and sighed a long sigh that made his cheeks puff out. Castiel smiled and put on the doe eyes, blinking a few times. 

"Fine," Dean capitulated, rolling his eyes. "But if I suddenly have to step out for a call-"

"I know. Don't get jealous and freak out." Castiel lifted onto his tip-toes and kissed Dean's cheek. "Thank you."

"You know, I don't think you've cooked for me yet," Dean mused, carrying the bag over to the couch. He set it between the couch and the door and turned to look Castiel over, leaning against the arm of the couch. "We've always gone out or I've cooked for you."

"I don't cook often," Castiel sighed. He dropped onto the couch next to Dean and gently leaned into the man's side. "I have to be in the mood for it." 

"Gotta be in the mood to cook. It's on my mental list of things about you." Dean licked the tip of his finger and acted like he was scribbling the words in the air. Castiel laughed and kissed Dean's hip lightly. He slid down and draped himself across the couch, his feet dangling off of the other end. He grunted when Dean covered his face with one hand, a laugh falling from his lips after he bit the tip of Dean's finger. "Get your goddamned hand off of my face, buckaroo!"

Dean burst into laughter. He looked at Castiel like he was confused as to what he'd just said. "Buckaroo?" Dean asked, laughing around the word. 

"Hell yeah," Castiel chuckled, sitting up. He turned around to face Dean and tucked his legs under his body. 

"Are you sick or something?" Dean grinned, raising one eyebrow. "I think you're sick."

"I'm not sick!" Castiel batted his hands away when he tried to feel his forehead. "I'm just in an abnormally good mood. Now, what I'm making is a surprise. You have to stay here while I cook." Castiel stood up, drawing a long kiss from Dean. 

God, he'd never get used to those lips. 

"And what am I supposed to do here?"

"Read something, sleep, watch a movie, watch TV. Do something!" Castiel waved his hands with a grin as he backed into the kitchen. He grinned as the door swung shut behind him. 

Within minutes, he had everything he needed out and was swinging his hips along with the song on the radio. His hands worked independently and expertly, knowing the recipe back and forth, side to side. It was his favorite thing to make, and it was something he made whenever he was feeling down. 

It was his specialty. 

He hummed with the Rhianna song, smiling as he did, thinking about how Dean- his Dean- was sitting in the living room, watching TV, probably sprawled out on the couch like there was no other way you could sit while watching some cheesy sitcom. Castiel's eyes closed and he exhaled sharply, realizing he had started to dance the bowl around as he stirred. A laugh choked out of him and he set it down on the counter again, sighing as the song changed to a commercial. 

As he started to slide the food into the oven, a certain song came on. One of his favorites was playing now, making him smile slightly and hum, swinging his hips with the beat as he hummed. Hands plunging into the water, he started to sing. "Darling, I will be loving you till we're seventy-y," he sang softly, "and, baby, my heart can still fall as hard at twenty-three..."   
Suddenly, he realized how the song fit in his situation with Dean. His smile grew slightly as he continued singing, watching dishes as he did. As he sang, he thought of the man in the living room, grinning now. His voice lifted, growing louder as the song continued. The song picked up and Castiel finished the dishes, starting to dance with a spoon held to his mouth as he sang. He spun, eyes opening, and caught sight of a form in the doorway, shoulder against the wood frame of the door. His lips quirked up at the corners and he felt a blush rising to his cheeks. Teeth latched onto his lower lip as he lowered the spoon onto the counter again, a little shyly.    
Dean grinned from the doorway, looking Castiel over slowly. "You're adorable," Dean sighed, lifting a hand to his neck and scratching. Castiel watched the movement intricately before rolling his eyes. "Come on, you're listening to a top hits station and singing with it. Not to mention you're singing into a spoon, Angel."   
"Why didn't you tell me you were there?" Castiel asked, feigning annoyance. His small smile gave him away.    
Dean's lips fell into a straight line, his expression mostly blank. "Would it have stopped you?" he asked, eyes on Castiel's as he walked into the kitchen, toward Cas.   
"Yes," Castiel sighed, leaning back against the counter. He wrapped his hands around the edge of the vinyl, fingers underneath. "It would have stopped me."    
He watched Dean's every move. Dean shrugged and stepped up in front of Castiel, pushing a stray hair from Castiel's forehead. "Exactly why I didn't let you know I was there." 

The blush on his cheeks increased and Castiel rolled his eyes again. "Whatever." Dean laughed and hooked his forefinger under Castiel's chin, tilting his head up a little. His lips pressed gently to Castiel's, almost hesitant and cautious in a way, until Castiel smiled against his lips and grabbed his wrist lightly with one hand. Castiel leaned up into the kiss, fingers loose around Dean's wrist, holding his hand in place through the whole moment. A smile played with Dean's lips too, making Castiel realize that he was enjoying it and also making Castiel wish they could do this more often, wish they would do this more often. 

When they pulled apart, their foreheads and noses stayed together, eyelashes fluttering against each other. 

"I love you," Castiel whispered, heart racing as he did. He hadn't said it since February, two months ago. 

"I love you too," Dean mumbled, grinning. Castiel could feel his pulse against his wrist and smiled when he realized it was racing just as fast as his. 

As soon as Dean pulled away, the moment broke. The light, fluffy cloud shattered around them, making Castiel sigh again and let his fingers slide from Dean's arm. The song ended and Castiel looked down at his feet between Dean's. He smiled slightly when he realized Dean had taken off his shoes and was wearing only his mismatched socks. 

Castiel playfully grabbed Dean's lapels and tugged him forward, wrapping his arms around Dean's abdomen. He pressed his face into Dean's jacket, enjoying the sound of the laugh Dean let out. Strong hands slid onto his back and made Castiel lean in closer to inhale the lime and peppermint of Dean's jacket. 

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean asked softly. Castiel smiled and closed his eyes, moving his hands back to Dean's chest and pushing his blazer off slowly as he lifted on his toes and kissed him again lovingly. 

"I've never given you a private dance," Castiel whispered against his lips, lightly draping the blazer over his own shoulders. He caught a glimpse of Dean's smile as he hooked a finger in his tie and loosened it. "Maybe I should do that tonight." 

"I'd sure as hell like that," Dean breathed, lips pressing to Castiel's forehead. Castiel smiled and leaned into it, enjoying the feeling of those soft lips against his forehead and the soft touch of the pads of Dean's fingers on his bicep. "But not right now, Angel. Tonight." 

Castiel slipped the tie over Dean's head and nodded, quiet. "Tonight." His lips pressed against Dean's cheek. "And then we'll make sweet-" His lips pressed to Dean's jaw. "-sweet-" They pressed to Dean's neck lightly. "-love." 

One soft kiss later, Dean was tugging his tie from Castiel's fingers and slipping his suit jacket off of Castiel's shoulders. "Can I hang these in your closet?" he whispered, eyes wandering Castiel's face. 

"Go ahead." Castiel nodded, watching Dean walk away with a grin. he turned his attention back to the radio and sucked in a deep breath, rolling his shoulders. 

Some song about sweaters and the cold was playing on the radio now that Dean had walked away. 

He exhaled and hit the button to turn off the radio, leaning against the counter again, eyes closed. He listened carefully to the sounds surrounding him, trying to push down his sudden wave of self-depriciation. His ears stretched out to hear the sounds of the cars passing by in the street, a yell from the alley below the window, the sound of whatever was on the TV, the sound of a phone ringing. His shoulders fell slightly and he leaned forward, sliding up from his comfortable position and into the living room. His shut off the TV with the click of a button on the remote, then scooped Dean's phone up from the table. 

"Dean? Your phone-"

"I heard it," Dean replied, walking out of the bedroom. He snatched it out of Castiel's hand and leaned down to press a kiss into Castiel's hair before hitting answer. "Hello?" As he spoke, his arm slid around Castiel's waist, tugging him against his side tightly. "Yeah, I get it. Wait- Hey! No way, Crowley. I was gone just two months ago. You promised me-" Dean went silent again, pursing his lips. His chin jutted out slightly; a sign that he was pissed off. "Listen, Crowley. I know you're my boss and everything, but you made a promise. If I got you information about Bela and Talbot Insurance, you'd cut back on my business trips. I have a fucking family and other people who are-"

Castiel looked up at Dean and let his fingers brush against the side of Dean's neck, knowing his eyes were filled with concern. 

"Crowl- Son of a bitch!" Dean cursed, throwing his phone down at the couch. Castiel sighed and grabbed Dean's arms before he could do anything else to the poor phone. "Just wait until I get my fucking hands on his grimy little throat." 

"Dean, calm down. You're not going to kill your boss." Dean's welfare suddenly took precedence over his own. "Come here. Come on." He gently guided Dean to the couch, picking up the phone and pushing Dean down to sit on the couch. He knelt in front of him, his fingers brushing against Dean's hairline. 

"Tell me what happened, Dean." 

"He's sending me on a business trip tomorrow."

"You've done those before, Dean. I remember them. They're not that bad."

"He's sending me with Bela again, Cas. I can't fucking stand her anymore. I'm sick of her fucking shit. I'm sick of her making snide comments in that prissy voice of hers, and I'm sick of her trying to come onto me. I'm sick of her trying to get me drunk." 

Frustration swelled up in Castiel's chest, but he shoved it down. "It'll be okay, Dean. You can make it through it. You've made it through the others." Castiel's fingers lightly brushed against Dean's cheek as he cradled his jaw. "I know that you can, and I'll be just a text away, Green Eyes. If you need me at any moment- whether it be for reassurance or just a simple hello- I'm here. I know you're going to be fine, Dean."

"Cas, what if I'm not?" Dean's voice broke and he swallowed thickly. "What if I break and give in? What if I get drunk and mouth off about everything; about the company's secrets, about confidential information, about my spying..?" His voice lowered to a rough whisper. "Cas, what if I end up drunk and I tell her about you?"

"Dean, if she tries to get you drunk," Castiel spoke with a stern voice, frowning, "you get up and you call me. Don't let her convince you into anything, Dean Winchester." 

Dean stared at him for a second before nodding slowly, worrying his lip between his teeth. Castiel shook his head and gently stroked his thumb against the stubble on Dean's jaw. "Calm down, Dean. You're going to be fine." 

"I'm just worried." 

"I know," Castiel whispered, still moving his thumb. "I'll go with you to pack and go to the airport, if you'd like. I keep with you until I can't anymore." 

"I love you, Cas," Dean whispered, green eyes boring into the blue in front of them. 

"I know," Castiel mumbled, smiling and kissing his nose. "I love you too." 

"I wish you could come with me."

"I would if I could, Dean, but I have school and I have work. We can... We can Skype and talk on the phone and text, remember? There's no reason for you to get upset; we'll still be in contact." 

"We can. We'll still talk, every second that it's possible."

"I promise," Castiel whispered, kissing Dean gently. 

"Thank you," Dean breathed against his lips, hands slowly lifting to Castiel's cheeks. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, Green Eyes. This is what I'm going to college to do, after all." Castiel smiled and moved his hand to Dean's shoulder. "Come here. Let's do something; get your mind off of the trip."

"I just want to sit here with you until I can't," Dean mumbled, staring at Castiel again. 

"That works too," Castiel replied, standing and dropping down next to Dean on the couch. Dean slid his arms around Castiel's shoulders and pulled him closer, making him grin. Castiel looked up at him and caught a kiss that Dean offered. "What time is your flight?"

"Eight a.m." 

"I have to be at school at ten, so I'll get up and get ready with you. Does that sound good?"

"It sounds perfect. And you'll get out of class just in time for the plane to land." 

"Bring me a gift?" Castiel teased, laughing when Dean agreed. "You don't-"

"It'll distract me and give me purpose in being there," Dean deadpanned, his fingers lightly playing with a button on the sleeve of Castiel's shirt. 

"Whatever makes you feel better," Castiel mumbled, nuzzling in against Dean's shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too. We've said it more today than we have in the past two months, Cas."

"I know. I love you."

Dean's laughed lifted Castiel's spirits. "I love you too, Angel."

"That's what I was looking for," Castiel grinned, fingers toying with the pendant on his neck. "You know, I really love this necklace."

"Good. It took forever to choose one."

"What were your other choices?"

"There was one with a bottle glass pendant," Dean mused, obviously a little distracted by trying to remember. "One with a little gold wing, another with a diamond, and then there was that one." 

"You would have been a real sugar daddy if you bought me a diamond," Castiel laughed. 

"I know, and that's why I didn't buy it," Dean laughed, burying his nose in Castiel's mop of hair. "I think you would have liked it, though. It was a diamond set in gold." 

"Gold isn't really my best color," Castiel smiled, hand combing through Dean's hair. "I'm glad that you got this one."

"Gold is a no," Dean mumbled, eyes closing. "It's on the list." 

***

In the morning, Castiel woke up next to Dean, draped over his chest and in his own bed. A smile crossed his lips when Dean groaned softly and lifted his arm to cover his eyes. "Wake up, baby," Cas mumbled, sitting up slowly and wrapping his hand around Dean's wrist. Dean groaned again and Castiel sighed. 

"Don't make me force you to wake up," Castiel whispered, his lips pressing to Dean's jaw. He slid himself over Dean and kissed his chin. "You know I'll do it."

"Do what?" Dean grumbled, still trying to fall asleep. "I'm exhausted, Angel. You kept me up late."

"You're the one who insisted," Castiel laughed, kissing down his chest. "I'm just the one who is used to barely any sleep and knows how to keep a fella busy."

"Busy enough to lose sleep."

"Hell yeah," Castiel grinned, his lips pressing to Dean's hip now. "I'll do it if you don't wake up."

"You think I'm going to get up with your mouth that- oh, fuck- Cas-" One of Dean's hands tangled in his hair. "Cas-"

Castiel smiled slightly and trailed his lips against Dean's inner thigh, his tongue brushing softly against the skin. The blanket had bunched up at Dean's feet by now, so Dean would see everything Castiel was doing. 

Castiel let his breath brush over Dean's hardening cock, his lips barely brushing against the base as he moved to leave a hickey on Dean's thigh. Breath hissed out of Dean and he Castiel glimpsed up to find Dean's head tipped back, his other hand tangled in the sheets. 

Castiel's lips closed around the tip of Dean's cock and Dean moaned, tugging Castiel's hair. Castiel gasped at the slight pain that shot through his body, enjoying the feeling. He moaned softly and lowered his mouth on Dean again, his tongue brushing against the tip of Dean's cock. It dragged a long groan from Dean when Castiel slowly lifted his head before lowering it again, one of Castiel's hands moving to hold Dean's hip while the other's lithe fingers wrapped around the base of Dean's cock. 

Silky skin dragged against Castiel's lip and the roof of his mouth, crating a sensation that Castiel wondered about. Why was it so good with Dean? It had never been this good with anyone else, giving head. 

His thumb gently shifted on Dean's hip, pressing down more, his nail lightly digging into the skin. 

"Oh, baby," Dean gasped, his hips lifting slightly. 

Castiel fought off a smile and sucked lightly, moaning around it as he did. Dean tasted amazing, again unique. 

Within a minute, Castiel was leaning up again and wiping his mouth. He'd made the moment as sensual as possible, wanting to remind Dean that he was his, only his, and not Bela's or anyone else's. 

Dean repayed the favor by fucking Castiel with his fingers, a feeling that Cas was surprised to feel at first before Dean started to make it feel like he'd made the act before. Castiel clung to Dean as he did, his breath labored and deep, lips dragging against Dean's neck with every finger added and with every new touch. Every sensation made Castiel's body and mind buzz with excitement and arousal. Every sound Dean made as he cooed against Castiel's ear, calling him a "good little boy" and "daddy's little toy" and "a fucking cockslut" made him rut down onto Dean's fingers. He praised Castiel with words that would be disgusting to Castiel if they were spoken by another mouth, coming from lips other than Dean's perfect pink swollen ones.  The way he said the words drove Castiel mad. 

Finally he came with a long, broken groan of "Daddy-" against Dean's collarbone, his back arched, body flush against Dean's. 

The two got in the shower (where they did just a little bit more than showering) and hurriedly got dressed. Both were ready by the time the clock hit six a.m.. 

They drove to Dean's house in the impala and quickly packed Dean's suitcase, Castiel choosing out clothes of every kind for Dean to pack. Dean and Castiel kissed in the bedroom, a long, lingering, soft kiss that made Castiel feel like it was a goodbye instead of an I'll be back soon. 

After that, they ended up at the airport, kissing in the car. 

It felt like goodbye again. 

Castiel pulled back and looked at Dean, who was looking down at their intertwined fingers cheeks glittering slightly even in the dark of the parking garage. Castiel wanted to comment on it and tell Dean that everything  would be fine, but he decided to let Dean have his moment. Sometimes it was better to just leave it be for a little bit. 

His eyes shifted to the clock on his phone and he sighed. "Dean, it's almost seven. You should get going so that you can get through security in time." 

"I don't-"

"You have to, Dean. I know you're not happy about it, but you have to. Be strong, Green Eyes, for me if not for yourself or your company." Castiel grabbed Dean's cheeks, making him look up. His thumbs wiped his cheeks clear of tears. "I love you."

"I love you too." Dean sighed, kissing Castiel again. It was another goodbye. "Take the impala? I hate leaving her sitting in the garage here. She loves the sunshine."

Castiel smiled. "Only if you want me to."

"Please." Dean smiled at him. "I should probably go now."

"Yeah."

"I'll text you and tell you where we go and when we touch down."

"Do you have your pills?"

"Oh, fuck-"

Castiel smirked and reached behind his seat, grabbing his bag. He rifled through it and pulled out the little orange bottle. "I may or may not have filled your prescription so that I could be ready in case you forgot it." 

"You're a lifesaver," Dean sighed, accepting the little bottle. He slid it into his carry on. "I'll text you when I can." 

"Sounds good, Green Eyes." Castiel kissed Dean's cheek. "Get out and leave. I'm sick of you," he teased, making sure Dean knew it. 

"Whatever," Dean sighed, laughing. "I'll see you when I get back."

"I'll pick you up in a few days." 

"That sounds amazing. I love you, Cas."

"I love you too, Dean. Good luck."

***

Four hours later, Castiel received a text. He discreetly checked his phone under his desk, listening to what his fellow students were saying even as he did. 

-We're in NYC.-

Castiel smiled. He tapped out a quick reply. 

 -Get me an I <3 NY shirt ;)- 

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed again. -Not quite that simple, Angel.- He sighed and slid his phone into his bag again before he could reply, picking up his paper. 

After class, he checked his phone again to find multiple new messages. 

-I love you-

-You know that, right?-

-I miss you-

-I wish you were here.-

-Fuck-

-Cas, I need you right now-

-We can't Skype or fall asleep together-

Castiel frowned at his phone as the next text came. 

-She got a double room.-

-I'm fucked.- 

Castiel cursed under his breath and hit Dean's contact name. He hit the word "call" with his thumb as he lifted the phone to his ear. 

There was an answer on the fourth ring. 

"Hello?" Dean answered. 

"Dean-"

"Crowley. We landed safe and we're fine." Dean's voice sounded like he was smiling. It got faint for a second as Dean said "Excuse me." 

The sound of a door closing made Castiel sigh. He licked his lips and turned his face toward the sun, leaning against the edge of the impala. He tugged the leather jacket righter around his shoulders. 

"Cas," Dean sighed after a moment. "Finally." 

"I would have replied earlier, but I was in class. I'm sorry." 

"It's fine. I'm just freaked out. It's like she's trying to force me into things, Cas." 

"I know, baby." Castiel smiled and winked at a few passing girls. "Just distract yourself. Find something to do, something to think about." 

"Something to distract myself," Dean scoffed softly. "That's impossible. You're not here, and neither is my car."

Castiel glanced down at the hood of the car and sighed again. "Imagine your frustration as a dial or a balloon, Green Eyes." 

"Okay..." 

"Is it a dial?"

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess. Right now it's turned up to one hundred. Imagine reaching out and turning the dial down. As the number it on lowers, your frustration lowers. When it hits zero-"

"It's gone," Dean whispered, exhaling slowly. "God, you're a lifesaver."

"So you've said," Castiel laughed. "She'll get suspicious if you're on the phone for too long, baby. Keep using that tactic if it works." 

"I will," Dean mumbled. "I love you." 

"Love you too, Dean." Castiel slid into the driver's seat of the car. "I'll text you soon. I have to work tonight, though." 

"I should be able to survive a while without you," Dean replied. "I'll talk to you soon. Bye, Cas." 

"Bye, Dean."


	9. The Blackmail

Castiel pulled into the parking garage and sighed happily. Dean had promised to meet him in the garage. He hit send on his text after typing out what floor he was on and what end, then sat in wait. 

Within a few minutes, the passenger seat door opened and Dean dropped his carry on bag to the floor of the car. "Keys? I need to open the trunk." 

Castiel smiled and pulled the keys from the ignition, acting like he was going to hand them over to dean easily. He tugged them away at the last second though, eyes on Dean's familiar green ones. 

"Forgetting something?" he asked softly, swinging the keys on his finger. 

Dean smiled slightly and pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's lips. "There's more on the way as soon as I get those keys and you drive us back to the house."

"I like the sound of that," Castiel admitted, grinning now. He handed the keys over and leaned back in the seat while Dean put his suitcase in the trunk. Dean slid back into the passenger seat and closed the door, reaching across and putting the keys in the ignition. He flipped the engine and then reached up and cupped Castiel's cheeks with his hands, pulling him into a long, deep, lingering kiss. 

This one felt like hello.

Dean pulled back after a minute or two, playfully slapping Castiel's cheek and shoving his head. "Drive me home, kiddo."

"Ew! Don't call me kiddo," Castiel protested, obeying anyway. He looked over his shoulder as he backed out of the spot, smiling. "Kiddo makes me sound like I'm ten."

"And Angel doesn't?" Dean asked, his hand resting on Castiel's knee. "Angel makes you sound like a five year old little girl." 

"At least they're cute," Castiel grumbled. "Ten year old boys are horrible. They're the spawn of demons- no, they are demons."

Dean laughed and Castiel smiled slightly. "Man, I missed you." 

"You still got this commentary, you know." 

"I know, but-"

"So it was really like you never left me here."

"But I did, Cas."

"I know. With you as a CEO, I'll have to get used to that, won't I? Especially when your company starts getting bigger," Castiel sighed, one hand laying over Dean's. "If it means that you're happy and successful, I'm okay with it, Green Eyes." 

Dean was silent as he flipped his hand to lace his fingers with Dean's. "What the hell did I do to deserve you?" Dean finally whispered when they drove out into the sun again. "I don't understand it." 

"You didn't have to do anything," Castiel smiled, squeezing Dean's hand. "Just being you was enough." 

"I tried so hard to get you. I remember it." Dean sighed. "I couldn't get you off of my mind after that first night. When Sam interrupted us I was so disappointed. I wanted to go back there; I wanted to blow your damn mind." 

"You did," Castiel sighed happily. "And you even shocked me afterward." 

"What?"

"When you paid just to talk to me," Castiel replied, glancing at Dean from the corner of his eye. "That drove me crazy. I had so much difficulty trying to figure out your intentions. I mulled it over again and again and again and again until I drove myself insane. I had dre-" Castiel caught himself and smiled. That was his own little secret. "Nevermind. I'm babbling." 

"I like when you babble," Dean breathed, leaning toward Cas and pressing his lips to Castiel's neck. "I like your voice." 

"I love yours," Castiel taunted, his fingers tightening around Dean's. "Almost as much as I love you." 

He felt Dean smile against his neck and turned to kiss Dean's head, eyes still on the road. He hit a red light and kissed Dean gently, his fingers lifting to Dean's chin until he pulled away and continued driving. 

Once they arrived at Dean's house, Castiel helped Dean carry his bags inside and jumped on him, kissing him deeply as Dean held him up and grinned into it. Their lips slammed together, teeth latching onto the other every few seconds and tugging. Castiel's hands tangled in Dean's hair and Dean's hands dug into Castiel's hips, pulling him closer. 

"I love you," Castiel breathed, his lips dragging against Dean's as he spoke. "I love you so much." 

"I love you too, Cas," Dean whispered, his hands brushing down to Castiel's thighs. "Please tell me you don't have to work tonight and that we can fuck all night long, baby." 

"I do have to work," Castiel sighed. "It's a Saturday tomorrow, Green Eyes. I work every Friday night." 

Dean opened his eyes and studied Castiel's blue, seeming extremely put out. "I don't like sharing you." 

"I know, Green Eyes. I don't even like the idea of sharing you." 

"Quit the club." 

"You know I'm not doing that." 

"Tell your boss that you're off of the private rooms." 

"Dean, that's where I get almost all of my money." 

"Let me pay for college for you." 

"Dean, no." 

"Cas-"

"I'm not letting you do anything of the sort and I am not quitting something that's leaving me good. I'm fine, and I'd like for you to be fine too." 

"I'm not fine when I have to share you." 

"Dammit, Dean." 

"Cas." 

"Just fuck me," Castiel sighed, his lips crashing against Dean's again. 

***

At four a.m., Castiel arrived back at Dean's house to apologize for earlier when he'd snapped at him. The sex and kissing afterward had been short and clipped, uncomfortable and rough. It wasn't the claiming that Cas had been expecting from Dean at that moment. 

He used the spare key to get into the house, tugging his jacket tighter around him as he did. 

When he stepped into the house, he realized that lights were on. Dean never left the lights on. Castiel frowned and slid his jacket from his shoulders and hanging it on the hook by the door. He toed his shoes off and slowly made his way through the trail of lights. 

When he reached the kitchen, his eyebrows raised and he blinked in surprise. "Who the fuck is-"

"Shut up," Dean snapped in a whisper, interrupting Castiel. The child on his hip was leaning against his shoulder, face buried in Dean's t-shirt, chubby little hand on Dean's shoulder blade and toying with Dean's shirt. Dean bounced softly as he turned around, holding a plastic bottle full of milk to Cas. "Test this on your wrist. Is it too hot?"

 Castiel frowned slightly and did as he was told, dropping a little bit on his wrist before shaking his head and handing it back to Dean. He walked to the sink and ran his wrist under the water, watching Dean in the reflection of the dark window. The baby whined when Dean shifted him into a cradle hold and Dean smiled and shushed him softly, holding the bottle up. Once the child caught sight of the bottle, it reached out and grabbed the edges of the bottle. Dean lowered it to the baby's lips slowly, tilted so that it came out when the child sucked on it. 

Castiel turned back around while drying his hands and stared at Dean, expecting an explanation, but Dean was too busy swaying the child back and forth slowly and watching it drink to realize. 

Castiel felt his slight anger slowly dissolving at the sight. After a few seconds he heard Dean sing softly, his lips moving only in the slightest. 

"Are you singing Hey Jude?" Castiel asked softly, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. Dean nodded as he bounced and Castiel smiled slightly. The baby's eyes dropped closed and Dean held the bottle for a few seconds before pulling it away and sighing contently. He met Castiel's gaze and gestured with his head for Cas to follow him. 

Castiel followed Dean into the living room, where a crib was set up in the corner. Castiel flipped off the kitchen lights when they left it, his lips pursed as he tried his hardest not to smile at the sight of Dean carrying a baby through his house. 

Dean gently set the baby in the crib, trying to do it without waking it up, and stood slowly, eyes still on the baby. Once he was completely up, he reached forward and grabbed Castiel's hand. He flipped off the lights as they left the room, dragging Cas into the hallway and kissing him gently. 

"I was going to text you-"

"That would have been appreciated," Castiel grumbled, glaring up at Dean. "Who's baby is that and why is it in your house?"

"Ben is Lisa's son. She has the weekend off and her parents cancelled on her last minute. I'd called earlier to see if there were any messages and she sounded so freaked and stressed that I just outright told her I can take care of Ben." Dean was whispering, his hands running down Castiel's arms and latching onto his hands.  "I thought you were pissed at me so I was kind of scared to tell you." 

"I was pissed," Castiel whispered, but sighed and looked over his shoulder at the living room. "But I came by to apologize for snapping at you earlier, Green Eyes." 

"I already forgave you," Dean smiled, leaning in to kiss Castiel softly. "Come on, baby, lay down with me." 

"I don't have-"

"Take some of mine. I like seeing you in my clothes anyway." 

"Okay," Castiel smiled, squeezing Dean's hand. 

"You know where they are, right?" 

"Yeah. I know." 

"Good. I'm sleeping in the living room tonight. I don't want Ben to wake up and cry for a long time without anyone nearby." 

Something in Castiel's heart swelled. "I'll come back downstairs," he mumbled, one hand lifting to Dean's cheek. He pressed his lips to Dean's softly before smiling and pulling away. 

He quickly and quietly changed into a pair of Dean's sweatpants and Dean's AC/DC shirt, smiling as he did. He couldn't get the image of a little baby with green eyes and freckles out of his head. 

Downstairs, he slid next to Dean on the couch when Dean lifted the blanket. 

Not long later, both men were fast asleep while sitting up, an infomercial playing without volume on the television.

Castiel's head lulled against Dean's shoulder and Dean's head was tilted back against the back of the couch. Their fingers were laced together under the blanket, hands in Dean's lap. 

If someone had a camera at that moment, it would have been the perfect picture. 

Around an hour later, Ben started to cry in the corner. It was a soft wailing sound, but it woke Castiel up nevertheless. When he moved to stand, Dean woke up and looked at him through heavy lidded eyes, confusion on his face until he heard the crying. He moved to get up too, but Castiel shook his head and pushed him back down. 

"Go back to sleep," Cas whispered. "I can take care of him." 

Dean frowned slightly at him before nodding and sitting back down. Castiel made his way over to the crib and gently lifted Ben, smiling at his raised arms when he did. Those chubby little arms wrapped around his neck as he lightly settled his hand on the back of Ben's neck, supporting his head. 

Wide brown eyes looked up at him in the dark, meeting Castiel's blue and making him smile even more. "Hey, little guy," Cas whispered, gently bouncing the baby. "It's late- uh... Actually it's pretty early. Too early for a little baby like you to be awake, Ben."

All Ben did was gurgle. Castiel grimaced slightly at the sound and walked around to the couch again, sitting down next to Dean again. 

"He's old enough to be able to support his own head," Dean commented softly, lifting the blanket again and dropping it over Castiel's lap. "You don't have to do that."

"It's comforting to them," Castiel sighed, his hand running down the baby's back softly. "It's just like how when you're upset your mother hugs you and places a hand on the back of your head."

Dean smiled slightly and nodded, but Castiel could sense the sudden unease coming off of him. 

"Did I say something wrong?" he questioned, glancing over at Dean. Their eyes met and Dean shrugged. "I did, didn't I?"

"Not really. I just didn't really grow up with a mother." Dean's eyes closed again. "She died when I was four." 

Castiel wasn't sure of what to say. He just looked down at Dean, still bouncing Ben slightly, trying to get the baby back to sleep. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered. 

"It's fine. I've been fine without her. I mean, I still think about her and I still get pretty depressed at that time of the year, but it's fine." 

"When did she die?" 

"Early November." 

"How?"

"Fire. She was at her friend's house and it caught fire. The firemen didn't get to the house in time." 

"That had to be hard on you."

"It was hardest on my dad," Dean mumbled, his hand lifting and resting on Ben's head gently. "He took it pretty bad. The last time they spoke to each other was in a fight." 

"That's-"

"Horrible, I know. But it's something that happened and something we all had to live with."

"How old was your brother?"

"Six months old." 

Castiel sighed softly and looked down at the child in his arms. Ben's eyes were half closed, yet attentive. It was like he was hanging onto every word that was spoken. 

"I think the last thing my mother ever said to me was when she told me angels were watching over me." 

Castiel's lips quirked up slightly. "Well, you've certainly got one now, Green Eyes." 

"Whatever, Angel," Dean laughed, his hand falling from Ben's head and onto Castiel's knee. "I'm awake now." 

"So am I."

"Ben isn't."

"No, he definitely is not. He's out cold." 

"Put him back in the crib?"

Castiel looked down at the sleeping child and smiled. "Not quite yet. It's kind of soothing, holding a baby and talking to you." 

Dean's eyes met his and crinkled at the edges. "You look so natural like that." 

"I'm going to be a therapist," Castiel laughed. "I have to be good with children." 

"Not like this, though. It's almost like you're connected or something." 

"Remember the story I told you on the phone? The one about when the woman left her child at the club?" 

"Yeah, mostly."

"Gad- King told me that it was like I had a connection with the child then, too." Castiel grinned and glanced back at Dean. "Maybe it's something natural." 

"Or maybe it's the ten year old girl in you," Dean teased. "The mother-to-be." 

"Shut up," Cas laughed, kicking Dean's shin. "I'm not secretly some ten year old." 

Dean stood up, the blanket falling off of his legs as he did. He leaned down over Castiel, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Do you want some coffee, kiddo?"

Castiel frowned and jokingly shoved Dean away with one hand on his chest. "Just go make it, you dick," he taunted, kicking Dean's ass as he walked away laughing. 

***

"A kid?" Gadreel asked as if he couldn't believe it. "You're fucking with me."

"No fucking here," Castiel replied, taking another bite of food. "I came home and he was in the kitchen holding some baby. I flipped."

"That's ridiculous. Was it his?"

"That's what I thought at first," Castiel laughed, "but it wasn't. It was his secretary's." 

"The boss taking care of the secretary's kid? That's adorable." 

Since Dean was at work and both Castiel and Gadreel had the day off, they'd decided to go down to the restaurant by Castiel's place and catch up. It had been a while since they'd seen each other. Gadreel had cut down his hours at the club since he was heading back to school. 

"I know. He's so compassionate," Castiel stated, acting like a girl pining over her crush. "It's just the best."

Gadreel laughed and took a sip of his drink. 

"What's so funny?" Russell asked as he pulled up a chair, straddling it. He leaned over the back of the chair and grabbed Gadreel's drink, taking a sip and smiling. 

"Dean Winchester has a child," Gadreel replied cockily. 

Castiel laughed at the faint shock on Russell's face. "He does not. That's just your boyfriend playing with you."

"Damn," Russell sighed after Castiel finished speaking. "I wanted to see that kid. It's probably all sculpted features and freckles."

"Whatever," Castiel laughed again, leaning back in his seat. "When is your next date?" He gestured between the two of them. 

Russell and Gadreel made eye contact and shrugged. "We don't really have one set," Russell answered. 

"Spontaneous couple type?" Castiel questioned, one eyebrow raised. "I like it. It fits you two." 

Gadreel rolled his eyes and flung a wadded napkin at Castiel. "Shut up." 

Russell tossed a straw wrapper at Castiel as well, making Castiel laugh and dodge it. 

"Maybe this will be our next date," Gadreel laughed. 

"Ganging up on little old Cassie," Russell chimed in, throwing a napkin at Castiel. 

Castiel laughed with them, completely oblivious to his phone ringing on the table until Gadreel picked it up and hit answer. 

"Hello?" Gadreel asked. "This is Gadreel."

"Give me my phone!" Castiel laughed, reaching one hand out. Russell grabbed it from Gadreel's hand before it could reach Castiel's. 

"This is Russ," he greeted, making eye contact with the laughing Gadreel. "Oh, you want to talk to Cas? He's kind of busy."

"I am not! Give me my phone!" Castiel whined, trying to grab it from Russell's hand, but Russell just stood up. "Dammit, Russell!"

"He's in the back. He went back there with some chick, telling her he'd show her a good time..." Russell trailed off. "You want me to tell him that?" After nodding slightly, he smiled and tilted the phone away from his ear. "Dean wants me to tell you that you better not be fucking some chick on the side." 

"I'm not!" Castiel complained, holding his hand out for his phone again. 

"He says that he thinks you are," Russell continued. "He's- oh, man, I am not saying that!" 

"Give me the god damn phone, Russell!" Castiel hissed. "I'll get it one way or another." 

Russell's eyebrows raised at that and he handed the phone over after stating "Dean, we've pissed him off. Calm him down." 

Castiel frowned and pouted at his friends before lifting the phone to his ear to hear Dean's soft laughter. He snatched his coat off of the chair and stepped outside, sliding it on with difficulty. "Why are you calling, Dean?"

"Just wanted to see how my Angel is doing," Dean replied. There was a click coming through the phone. "I'm also bored out of my mind and had a moment of freedom before the next meeting." 

"My boyfriend, the big boss man," Castiel teased, leaning against the side of the restaurant. "It's really hot." 

"The temperature?"

"No, your job. I like imagining you behind that big desk that has plenty of leg space," Castiel mumbled. "I mean, there's so much leg space a person could hide under there and you wouldn't know-" 

"Cas, turning me on isn't going to make things any better, baby. Save the sex voice." 

"But it's fun. Maybe I can come down there and show you how much leg space there is under that desk. How would you like that, Green Eyes?" 

"Cas, shut up," Dean laughed softly. "You've already done your job; you did this morning. The rest of the day is for other relationship requirements." 

"Oh, so making you come is a requirement now?"

"Dammit, Cas, shut the hell up." 

Castiel laughed. "Really, Dean. Why did you call?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I told you that." 

"Then talk. What did you want to tell me?"

"Do you want to get out of town this weekend? Go on a little get-away?"

"You know I have to work, baby," Castiel sighed. "God, you have no idea how enticing that sounds, but I have work." 

"Then we'll go as soon as you get off of work on Saturday morning. I'll pack your bags for you while you're at work and let you sleep in the car." 

"Dean-"

"It's a deal. That way you can work but still go away with me." 

"Fine," Castiel sighed. "We're becoming the spontaneous ones now." 

"What?"

Castiel grinned at himself. "Nothing. Get back to work, hot stuff." 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." 

"I'll see you later, right?"

"Probably. I've got a massive paper-"

"Work on it at my house later, then. I know you like working on your papers on the balcony at night. I've got to go. I'll call you, okay?" 

"Okay. Good luck, baby." 

"Thank you." Dean hung up and Castiel looked down at his phone as the screen faded away, smile still on his lips. 

He slipped the phone into his pocket and returned to his friends, groaning when he walked in to find them kissing lightly. 

"Disgusting."

***

Three hours later, Castiel got another call from Dean. This time he was home, working on his paper and sipping on hot tea simply because it was something he treated himself to occasionally instead of coffee. He picked his phone up and hit answer, still typing with one hand. He pinned the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he typed. 

"Dean? You're calling early." 

"Cas, there's something going on. Bela just entered the building downstairs. I was immediately alerted that she was on her way up to see me." 

"I'm sure it's just another impromptu getaway, Green Eyes." Castiel stopped typing and grabbed his phone with one hand, switching it to the other ear so that he could grab his tea. "You'll be fine." 

"Yeah, I'm sure I will be," Dean sighed. "I'm just not- fuck. There she is. Doorknob-" Dean cut off and Castiel heard a rustle of papers. Dean must have been covering. "You still there? Crowley-" 

There was a soft cough and Castiel felt anxiety bubble in his stomach. "Excuse me, Mr. Winchester," a lilting British voice questioned. "This may be a conversation you do not want recorded on the telephone, let alone spoken to your boss just yet. I suggest you hang up the phone." 

Nervous coughing came over the line before a distracted "Yeah, I guess. I'll call you back later, Crowley." 

When there was no click, Castiel decided he was going to eavesdrop on the conversation. 

"What's the problem, Bela?" Dean asked. Castiel could hear a file being slapped down on the desk again. 

The voices were slightly muffled, but Cas could still hear them. 

"Please refrain from calling me Bela. This is strictly business; it's Ms. Talbot to you." Bela's voice was confident and harsh. "I have a little bit of dish on you, Mr. Winchester." 

That one sentence made Castiel's stomach drop. "No," he whispered. 

"I have reason to believe that your brother is not your brother. I realized I few qualities in your interaction at every meeting I had with young Castiel. The real tipping point was New York, though. I tried to get you drunk; I tried to get you to sleep with me. Yet you still refused, and every time you refused you disappeared shortly afterward to accept a phone call. 

"I had those numbers tracked and soon discovered that you were not receiving calls from your boss, Mr. Crowley, but instead from another number based here in Kansas City." 

"Don't-" Dean interjected. 

"So as soon as I returned from New York, I called out a PI. You're familiar with the work of one Gordon Walker, correct? He often works with your company to prove fraud and other information that pertains to our business." There was a beat of silence where Castiel felt his heart pounding in his ears. 

"Mr. Winchester, Mr. Walker took a few incriminating shots of you and your little scandal." There was a rustling of paper that Castiel felt was his soul finally crumpling into a million creases and folds and tears. 

Then he heard Dean's voice, soft and broken. It was so vulnerable; more vulnerable than when Castiel was beneath him and Dean was cooing soft praises to him. "Ms. Talbot..." 

There was another rustle and Castiel felt a hot tear roll down his cheek. The silence of the line was painful. 

"I trust you do not want this tryst reaching the public, let alone your boss?" Bela questioned. She didn't even wait a minute before continuing. "Mr. Winchester, this is the end of our financial and business-oriented relationship. You have been spying on my company for far too long for me to allow. If you continue to keep up communication with me or any of the associates at Talbot Insurance, I can assure you that these pictures will be in every newspaper and every magazine stand everywhere. The same goes for the instance where your company's rate increases. I know you have been lying to me to creep up the board, and this ends now." Bela's voice was stern and heated. It was losing its charm. 

There was another soft rustling. "You know, you two make the most handsome couple. I would hate to be the end of that." 

Shortly after one more rustle, there was the click-click-click-click of heels against the wooden floor of Dean's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is where the drama begins. Don't worry, I won't be completely cutting off the cute moments along the way, but be ready for a bit of heartbreak and hurt soon.   
> Whoever had a hunch about Bela was right; she's a bitch. ;-)   
> Thank you for reading! I'll try to update regularly still, but pretty soon it may be hard due to school and more.


	10. The Weekend

An hour later, Dean was showing up at  Castiel's  apartment with tears streaming down his face. He practically fell into  Castiel's  arms.    
"I heard everything, Green Eyes,"  Castiel  whispered, one hand lifting to the back of Dean's head while the other rubbed up and down his back. Tears fell against  Castiel's  neck, wetting the collar of his shirt.  Castiel  kissed his shoulder lightly and sighed, eyes closing.    
They remained that way for a few seconds, Dean breaking apart and  Castiel  picking up the pieces to repair him, until Dean pulled himself away and opened his eyes, eyes wandering  Castiel's  face.  Castiel  smiled softly at him and smoothed his hair down.    
"Hey there, big guy," he mumbled, blinking as his hands rested on Dean's cheeks. His thumbs lightly pushed away tears.  Castiel  was suddenly extremely fascinated by the act and watched as his thumbs lightly brushed over the wet skin, pushing blood down and leaving a rapidly disappearing trail of white on his cheekbones.    
"I hate not knowing what to do,  Cas ," Dean whispered. "I normally know what to do with the company, but that's it. I know how to work my way through problems with work and I know how to work my way through problems with cars, but give me problems involving people and relationships and more and I am complete shit."    
"That's why you have me,"  Castiel  smiled, trying to get Dean to smile. "I'm here to help you with that, Dean."    
"Then what do I do,  Cas ?" Dean asked, his fingers brushing against  Castiel's  cheek.    
"Do you want my professional opinion or my personal opinion?"   
"Professional."    
Castiel  exhaled slowly and led Dean to the couch, making him sit down. He knelt in front of him, just as he had a week ago.    
"My professional opinion is that I cannot tell you what to do, Dean. You have to choose for yourself; I'm just here to help you decide. Whatever you want to do more or whatever you believe is the correct decision is the option you should go with. Think them through. Think of the consequences, the pros, the cons, and every possible outcome.   
"Then you can make your decision."    
Dean stared at him as he spoke, lips pursed and eyes stuck to  Castiel's  lips as if he could see the words leaving  Castiel's  mouth. His eyes wandered away after a second as though chasing the words through the air before flicking back to  Castiel .    
"I'll think about it," he whispered, one hand lifting to comb through  Castiel's  hair. "Right now I just want to enjoy my peace with you and think."    
"I'll be glad to give you that, Green Eyes,"  Castiel  replied, standing up and sitting down next to Dean.    
They remained like that,  Castiel  watching Dean as he seemed to mull over a thousand possibilities all at once. Dean's expression changed every few seconds before changing back. Within a few minutes,  Castiel  was scooting down the couch and making Dean lay down with his head in  Castiel's  lap.    
A long sigh fell from Dean's lips when he finally closed his eyes and rolled over, his lips pressing to one of the buttons on  Castiel's  shirt.  Cas  smiled sadly and exhaled, his fingertips lightly brushing Dean's jaw.   
At that moment, there was nothing they could do but wonder what was in store for them. Would be good? Bad? Angry? Happy? Lonely? Frightening? Busy?    
Or worst of all, would it end with them hurt and apart?   
***   
On Friday,  Castiel  went to work as normal. He'd given Dean the spare key to his apartment the night before just to be sure Dean would have it.    
At two a.m., when  Castiel  got off of work, Dean was going to be waiting outside with their bags packed and in the trunk. Then Dean would drive an hour to Topeka.    
Everything went according to plan.    
They reached the hotel at three-thirty, where they both got out of the car and grabbed their bags. Dean confirmed the reservation and smiled at  Cas , taking one bag from him. He started down the hallway to their right.   
"A first floor room?"  Castiel  asked.   
"It was cheap... It's not like we'll be really paying attention to the surroundings, anyway."   
Castiel  smiled. Playful banter like that had been rare throughout the past week. Both of them had been off of their element ever since finding out what Bela knew.   
This  weekend was supposed to get them back on it. It was supposed to remind them of what they had and what they were.   
As soon as they entered the room, Dean flicked on the light and dropped the first bag by the door. He took the other from  Castiel , who was glancing around and smiling.    
"I haven't stayed in a hotel since I was ten,"  Castiel  admitted, closing the door quietly. He turned around and caught Dean staring. "What?"   
"Nothing," Dean grinned. "Just come here."   
Castiel  grinned and walked over to Dean. He slid his arms around Dean's neck while Dean's own hands took up home on his hips. Their lips met in a soft, soothing kiss.   
"We should probably sleep,"  Castiel  whispered, his nose brushing against Dean's. Warm breath brushed past his lips, settling warm and sweet on his tongue. It seemed like forever since that had happened and since it felt that good.   
"Not until we get a little bit of whatever has been missing into this. We have to break in the bed," Dean replied, lips dragging against  Castiel's . His hands gently pushed under  Castiel's  shirt. "There's no way we can sleep in a stiff bed."   
"No way,"  Castiel  agreed, his fingertips trailing along Dean's jawline. Their lips met again, this time more fevered and damaging. Dean's fingers tore at the buttons of  Castiel's  shirt, pushing them through the fabric and revealing skin with every one.  Castiel  let his lips drop to Dean's neck as he did, his own fingers dragging and tugging at Dean's t-shirt.    
Next thing  Castiel  knew, Dean was lifting him up and dropping him on the bed. Soft, wet lips dragged against the skin of  Castiel's  chest, pulling moans from his throat and forcing his hands to grip at the pale green comforter.   
Dean whispered against his waistband. "Be a good boy tonight, baby. Don't scream for Daddy. Not that I don't like it, but it won't be appreciated by the other people in here."   
Castiel  nodded despite knowing it would be horribly difficult. His blood was rushing to one place, making it kind of difficult to focus on anything but the way Dean's lips and hands felt as he sucked a hickey onto his hip and tugged down his pants and the way Dean's name was on his tongue, dripping from his mouth like honey, like a prayer that wouldn't go unanswered. Dean's own pants followed soon after  Castiel's .    
"Get the condom from my pocket,"  Castiel  breathed, leaning up on his elbows.    
"Always prepared," Dean smirked, tugging out the condom. He rolled it on slowly after tearing it open with his teeth.  Castiel  licked his lips and watched him as his own hand wandered down his own body.  Castiel  moaned softly and fell back off of his elbow, his free hand seeking something- anything- to grab onto.    
Dean was inside of him in the next instant and the slap of skin against skin was echoing through the hotel room and in their ears and throughout their bodies.  Castiel  gasped and moaned under Dean, one hand lifting to his back and digging fingernails into his skin. This was the intimacy they'd been lacking for the past week, the intimacy they'd needed. Their bodies intertwined, devouring each other, wrecking each other before building back up only to do it again. They were the Tower of Babel, falling down again and again and again and again. Lips tore at lips, teeth tore at skin, skin tore at skin, and words tumbled from their lips like there was no tomorrow and that they'd only get to say those things now, in that one second, or forever hold their peace.    
Claws dug  into  Castiel's  hips and left crescent-shaped marks. Teeth dug into  Castiel's  shoulder and left bite marks that were welcome and felt like love.   
Dean came first, his breath spreading a chill over  Castiel's  sweat-soaked neck and chest. The chill made  Castiel  shiver and moan lightly, his fingernails digging into Dean's skin just a fraction deeper.   
Suddenly,  Castiel  was gasping and trembling, all of his will-power going into keeping his shouts into moans that were swallowed up by Dean's lips and a soft whimper that was expelled against Dean's neck. He wanted to shout Dean's name, though. He wanted to shout it so loud that it would reach the heavens where Dean Winchester truly belonged, so loud that the whole nation could hear it, that the space station could hear it and know how nicely Dean Winchester treated him and how nicely Dean fucked him.   
Dean collapsed over him, his lips dragging against  Castiel's  neck as he inhaled.  Castiel  licked his lips and ran his hands from Dean's shoulder blades to his spine. Hands brushing down Dean's spine,  Castiel  let his thoughts out in a rush of breath. "I love you, Dean," he whispered, chest heaving with every breath he took. "I love you so much."     
Dean stayed silent.   
***   
In the morning,  Castiel  woke to an empty bed. Used to it, he sat up and wiped a hand across his eyes. The sheets fell down off of his chest, leaving him feeling bare and cold.    
His first thought after "Dean?" was "I want a sweater." He smiled slightly to himself and sleepily rolled out of bed to find one already lain out for him over the back of a chair, jeans and underwear under it. A smirk replaced the smile when he realized the underwear was a pair he normally would wear for work and not everyday.   
"Kinky little shit," he whispered to himself as he tugged the lace on, hoping Dean had somehow heard him. He pulled on the sweater, smiling at the feel of it. Dean had packed his favorite sweater and he knew it. The cable knit navy blue sweater was something his mother had made for him when he was eighteen, just before he was kicked out of the house.   
Castiel  reached for the jeans before deciding against it. He's put them on when he really had to. The underwear and sweater would suffice while he brushed his teeth and did his hair.    
The lavish bathroom made  Castiel  smile when he entered it. It made him think of last night when they'd decided to christen the shower as well.  Castiel  shook his head and tore his eyes away from the stall and turned to the mirror. He quickly splashed his face with water, grabbing the towel to wipe it off as he stood up again.    
He met his own eyes in the mirror and noticed something wrong. There was some underlying feeling in them, something that seemed close to breaking point. It made him frown and look closer. After considering the feeling and the possibilities of why it arose,  Castiel  came up with nothing and decided to try and ignore it. He let his eyes wander down again as he put toothpaste on his toothbrush. The routine motions of brushing his teeth were simple and welcome. His eyes continued to wander as he brushed his teeth, and after about half a minute he realized a mark on his neck that made him smile. The light purple-red of the bruise on his neck was very visible compared to the blue of the sweater he was wearing.    
As soon as he finished running his hands through his hair to make it deliberately messy,  Castiel  heard a click that sounded like a door closing. There was a rustle that followed, a sound like a jacket coming off and a cup and bag being set down.  Castiel  frowned slightly and quickly washed the gel off of his hands. 

The scent of breakfast reached him as he walked back out into the main bedroom part of the hotel room. Dean stood at the dresser that had the television on it, pulling food out of a bag.  Castiel  grinned and came up behind him, his arms looping around his waist as his chin rested on Dean's shoulder. 

"Good morning,"  Castiel  greeted, his lips pressing to Dean's ear. 

"Good morning," Dean chirped back, turning his head to kiss  Castiel  lightly. "I see you found the sweater I put out." 

"Hell yeah, I did. Thank you."

Dean laughed. "No problem. I woke up freezing my ass off, so I thought you might want a nice greeting instead of the one I got." 

"Wish I'd woken up before you,"  Castiel  whispered into Dean's shoulder. "Then I could have given you the nice wake up call."

Dean laughed again and  Castiel  let go of him despite his warmth. "Coffee?"

"Damn right. It isn't morning without coffee."

"Which one?"

"Left one is yours," Dean replied, one hand lifting to the back of  Castiel's  head. His lips pressed to  Castiel's  forehead softly and lingered, Dean's hand holding him there. "Okay, now I'm awake."

"And you probably have hair gel on your nose,"  Castiel  quipped, wiping the tip of Dean's nose with his thumb. "Got it." 

Dean grinned and playfully smacked  Castiel's  hand. "Maybe I wanted it there."

"Yeah, so you could have a sticky nose all day? I think not."  Castiel  picked up the coffee cup and bent back the lid, taking a long sip of the scalding beverage. 

"Perfect," he sighed, eyes closing.

"I have more reservations for tonight," Dean told him suddenly, unwrapping a breakfast sandwich and handing it to  Castiel . "Dinner reservations at The  Rowhouse  a few blocks away." 

"I think I've heard about it before,"  Castiel  mumbled, sipping his coffee again and leaning against the dresser. Dean looked up at him. 

"It's supposedly really good. I've been to it once and I wasn't disappointed," Dean sighed, eyes closed as he took a sip of coffee. "It's not really any kind of 'black-tie' restaurant, but I packed your suit. Just wear it without the tie." He winked at  Castiel . 

Cas  grinned and nodded once. "What's on the agenda for the day other than that?"

"Whatever you want to do, Angel," Dean smiled, reaching up to ruffle  Castiel's  hair.  Castiel  glared at him and rolled his eyes. 

***

"That was totally worth the hundred dollars," Dean admitted as he leaned back in his seat, taking another sip of his port. His eyes closed as he did. 

Castiel  smiled and tilted his head slightly, watching Dean drink. "I agree,"  Castiel  replied happily, swishing the wine in his own glass lightly. 

The dim lighting of the restaurant cast them both in a soft glow, but it looked best on Dean who was smiling and watching  Castiel  with a content, lidded gaze. His eyes were glowing as well, but that was only brightened by the lighting. The breath Dean let out helped his shoulder relax, and when he spoke  Castiel  was reminded of why he loved his voice so much and how he lost himself in the honey-dipped rough voice so often. 

"Should we get out of here?" Dean questioned softly, and  Castiel  barely registered his own nod. Dean smiled and downed the rest of his port before standing up and leaving a tip on the table. He held his hand out to  Castiel , who took it graciously and smiled at the tingle it sent through his bloodstream. 

They walked out to the car. Dean opened  Castiel's  door for him and made sure he was inside and buckled up before going around to the other side and sliding into the driver's seat.  Castiel  smiled sleepily at him. The dark was affecting him and putting him to sleep already, but it could have also been the lack of real sleep the night before. His head lulled against the back of the seat, facing Dean just so he could watch him drive. He watched the small smile that lit up his face in the dim light coming through from the streetlights. It was only eight p.m., but the sun had already sunk beneath the horizon and left the world with the twinkles of stars and the yellow moonlight. 

Castiel's  eyes closed sometime near the hotel. He was still awake, but just barely. 

Dean's voice almost roused him, but the scent of lime and peppermint that filled the cab of the car was too familiar and nice to let him get up. After a second a soft breathy laugh came from Dean and there was the sound of the door opening.  Castiel  felt a rush of warm night air rush in when his own door opened, the feeling of hands reaching across his body to unbuckle the seatbelt accompanying it. 

"Come on, Angel," Dean mumbled as he tugged on  Castiel's  legs slightly, his arm fitting under  Castiel's  knees. He used his free arm to loop  Castiel's  limp arms around his neck and lift him up slightly, slowly moving him out of the car.  Castiel  nuzzled into Dean's shoulder and moaned softly in protest at the chill of the night compared to the car's warmth. Dean's soft laugh made  Castiel  smile slightly and exhale slowly. There was a quick movement and then a slam that  Castiel  supposed was Dean kicking the car door closed. 

When they reached the hotel room again, Dean gently lowered  Castiel  onto the bed. He eased his shoes and socks off and then pulled the covers over  Castiel . Lips pressed to  Castiel's  cheekbone lightly and lingered before pulling away. 

There was the sound of retreating footsteps, then the click of a door opening. A light flicked on, illuminating the dark room  Castiel  was laying in.  Castiel  sat up slowly and ran his hand through his hair sleepily as he slid off of the bed. His feet touched the carpet and he smiled slightly and stood up shakily, eyes half closed.  Castiel  sighed and pushed his suit jacket off of his shoulder so that all he had on was his shirt and slacks. He padded his way to the bathroom, the source of the light, and watched Dean from his spot leaning against the door frame. 

Dean washed his face and wiped the water off, holding the towel to his face just a moment too long.  Castiel  watched with attentive, sleepy eyes, his lips turned down in a frown. Dean's eyes were closed when he pulled the towel away and dropped it onto the counter. His shoulder lifted with a deep inhale and his hands clutched at the edge of the sink, like he was having trouble standing on his own. The breath left him in a rush and made his shoulders fall again. 

Without another thought,  Castiel  moved forward and slid his arms around Dean's chest, his face pressing into his back, right next to his shoulder blade. Dean straightened up after a second deep inhale.  Castiel  pressed his lips to Dean's shoulder, looking over his shoulder and at the man in the mirror. 

The man in the mirror looked like Dean, but it wasn't Dean. He seemed broken in a way, torn apart with no idea of how to put himself back together or how to stick with whatever was going on around him. The man seemed lonely and scared, so much unlike the Dean  Castiel  knew. Maybe this was the Dean that was under the skin the whole time. Maybe this Dean was the one trying to come out, broken and scared and fallen and hurt. Pain hidden deep in his eyes, body trembling slightly, fingers shakily resting on  Castiel's ... This was the Dean that  Castiel  had apparently been longing to see. 

Now that he'd seen him, he wanted to bring back the other Dean. He wanted to make this Dean into the lively, joking, sexy, courageous man and wipe away the pain. 

Castiel  caught Dean's eyes on his own in the mirror after a second and smiled, lifting one hand to push it through Dean's hair. 

"You want to lay down, big guy?" he inquired, his voice softer than he thought possible. 

Dean smiled softly and laced his fingers through  Castiel's . The movement was a silent way of saying yes. 

Castiel  gently tugged his hand, taking Dean's along with it. Dean spun in a circle and  Castiel  smiled a little more, walking him out of the bathroom. He hit the lights as they left the room.

Once they reached the spot beside the bed,  Castiel  smiled up at Dean and pressed his lips to the other man's gently, sliding Dean's jacket off and tossing it across the room so it would rest on the chair. He started to unbutton Dean's shirt after pulling away, his eyes half-mast and focused on the task he was accomplishing. The only light in the room came from the window against the wall, a spare bit of moonlight creeping its way into the room and laying white on the floor like the train of some invisible bride's dress.  Castiel  smiled slightly and let his thumbs graze against Dean's skin as he pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, then moved his way to the buckle of Dean's belt, the button and the zipper of Dean's slacks. He stripped him down to his underwear, conscious of Dean's eyes on him the whole time.  Castiel  stripped down to his own underwear and smiled at Dean, gently curving his hand around the back of the broken man's neck and pressing their lips together again. 

He then playfully pushed Dean and walked to the other side of the bed (the side he normally slept on) and slid into bed next to Dean. Arms curled around him slowly, holding him close and making Dean seem to be some child who had just had a bad nightmare and  Castiel  was the parent whom was the comforting presence that calmed him down just enough so he could sleep.

The rest of the night was spent like that. Tangled bodies and sheets were restless. Breathing was deep.  Castiel  was didn't sleep a wink, while Dean fell asleep next to him and slept through the night. 

For some reason,  Castiel  couldn't shake this dread that what he had found earlier when he walked into the bathroom would be what he would become as well. He didn't want to become some broken shell of a man. He didn't want to become even worse than he already was. 

In the morning, they left Topeka and returned home. Dean dropped  Castiel  off at his apartment with a soft lingering kiss in the car and a promise of a phone call later. 

From there,  Castiel  walked up to his apartment with his bags and unlocked the door, shoving the door open and breathing in slowly. Home sweet home was not home sweet home. Home Sweet Home had become The Apartment Where  Castiel  Didn't Want To Be. It had gone from the one place where  Castiel  found refuge to the one place  Castiel  was afraid to be without someone else around. 

He swallowed his anxiety and dropped his bags by the door, tugging his phone out of his pocket. Speed dial was his savior when he hit the number three, calling Gadreel instantly. 

" Cas ?"

"You want to hang out at my place? I'll clean up a bit and we can watch movies or something. Get drunk."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just want to hang out with you." 

There was a long pause before a response. "Fine. I'll be over in twenty. You're supplying the alcohol." 

"Will do, man. Thank you." 

"No problem. Just go clean that pig sty." 

Castiel  laughed softly and hit the end call button. 

Twenty minutes later,  Castiel  was letting Gadreel into his apartment. 

"I thought I was supplying the alcohol,"  Castiel  joked, taking the bottle of vodka from Gadreel's hands. "You didn't have to bring this." 

"You sounded like you could use something strong," Gadreel replied, waving the acknowledgement away as he slid off his coat. "Now go get the glasses and I'll put on some cheesy romance movie like you like and we can talk."

Shot glasses were set on the table.  Castiel  plopped down on the couch next to Gadreel setting his own bottle of whiskey down next to the vodka. They both looked at the cups then at the bottles, each man reaching for his own choice;  Castiel  for the vodka, Gadreel for the whiskey.  Castiel  poured himself a hearty shot and clinked his glass against Gadreel's before downing it. A sigh fell from his lips and he shook his head. 

He'd never really liked the taste of vodka, but it was definitely strong and strong was what he needed at that moment.

Next thing  Castiel  knew, he was downing his fifth shot and blinking as his world started to spin. 

When he went to pour another shot into his glass, he found both of his hands empty. 

"Slow down,  Cas ," Gadreel sighed, setting the glass and the bottle on the floor by the other end of the couch, as far away from  Castiel  as possible. "You're not getting alcohol poisoning on my watch." 

That's when the tears came. It wasn't like it was a build up to the waterworks. It was instantaneous.

 Tears started to fall from  Castiel's  eyes and he doubled over, head in his hands. He shook with sobs, pulling at his hair and trying to wipe at his cheeks at the same time, trying so hard to stop the crying. Why was he crying? What  was he doing? Why was he doing this? Each breath burned like it wasn't meant to be taken, like it was meant for someone else, someone more important, someone who wasn't  Castiel  the fuck up who made his boyfriend break down in some hotel room bathroom an hour away and stripped and sold his body for a living and tried to get through psychology schooling with his own major psychological troubles. 

A soft hand touched his shoulder and he tried to shrug it off. He got to his feet and tried to breathe, tried to walk to the bathroom, but soon found a hand guiding him toward his destination. Once in the small room, he tore his glasses off and tossed them on the floor and turned on the tap. His hands cupped under the running water and splashed some of the cold liquid on his face, washing away the tears that wouldn't stop fucking coming. 

"Stop it," he sobbed, "stop crying. You don't deserve to cry. Stop it,  Castiel , stop it-" He repeated the words over and over, considering slapping himself or something- anything- to stop the crying just make it stop he didn’t want to cry; crying was a sign of weakness and  Castiel  did not want to be weak in that moment-

A hand pulled him up and pressed a cold glass into his hands.  Castiel  looked down and saw the clear liquid, immediately thinking "vodka" and downing it quickly. 

It was just water. 

Castiel  frowned and felt his throat close up after drinking the water, his head still spinning slightly. Gadreel led him back into the living room and made him sit down on the couch. 

"Spill,  Castiel . What the hell is going on? Why are you crying?" 

When  Castiel  didn't speak and just lowered his head into his hands again, he heard Gadreel suck in a breath. Gadreel spoke again and his voice was stern and angry. 

"If that asshole hurt you in any way I am going to hunt him down and beat him to a pulp." 

Castiel  scoffed slightly and shook his head. 

"He didn't do anything, really,"  Castiel  choked out, sitting up again and wiping at his cheeks. "I'm the one who's causing him pain. I'm the one forcing him to keep this relationship a secret and I'm the one who brought all of this shit onto him. 

"He fucking broke apart this weekend underneath me, Gadreel."  Castiel  sighed and closed his eyes, elbows on his knees. "He carried me to the hotel room and then put me to bed and then went into the bathroom and broke. I think that my presence in the bathroom after a minute was the only thing keeping him from sobbing again. He thinks he has to put on some air for me, some kind of happy air or something, and I'm the one who is keeping him sad and lonely and broken and in pain.

"I don't know what to do."  Castiel  broke with a sob again, head falling into his hands. The heels of his hands dug into his eyes. "I don't know what to do. He's so broken and in so much pain and I've tried to help him. He asked for my help and I gave him the vaguest answer in the world simply because I don't even know what to fucking do. Bela Talbot is tearing his fucking world down piece by piece, bit by bit, and tearing his company down with it. He's going to have nothing left-" 

The phone on the table started buzzing and  Castiel  went silent, head lifting to look at the phone. He saw two of them. 

Gadreel picked up the phone on the fifth ring and hit a button, lifting it to his ear. " Castiel  is having a mental breakdown right now and cannot come to the phone, Dean. He'll call you back later so you can reassure his worrisome ass." 

Castiel  barely heard a worried voice over the line when Gadreel lowered the phone to hit the red end call button and toss it onto the couch cushion. 

"Continue,  Cas ," Gadreel urged. "Keep talking." 

Castiel  glanced down at his phone before sighing and shaking his head. "He's going to have nothing left, Gadreel. No company, no job, no money, house... I don't know what to do or how to help him. It's so confusing." 

After a moment of silence,  Castiel  looked up at the ceiling. 

"I need another drink right now." 

"Only water for you," Gadreel mumbled. "No more vodka. I'm not driving you to the hospital to get your stomach pumped because you downed too much alcohol in too little time." 

"Whatever,"  Castiel  muttered, looking down again. He felt Gadreel's hand brush against his shoulder as he passed by, glass in his hand. "Just get me more water, then."

As soon as Gadreel left the room,  Castiel  lurched across the couch and grabbed the bottle of vodka. He took a long swig straight from the bottle and replaced it quickly before Gadreel could see or notice. "Liquid courage," he muttered to himself, his hands shakily running through his hair. 

Within a second his phone was in his hand and he was dialing Dean's number again. 

" Cas ? Good God, King terrified me-"

"I don't want to make you lose everything, Dean,"  Castiel  slurred, heel of his hand against his forehead. He heard Gadreel's footsteps drawing closer. "I don't want to make you into some kind of scandal. I don't want to break you further or cause you more pain. You're already pretty much losing your company because of me and because of us and that's not good, Dean. I'm causing you pain and hurt and I'm toxic and I don't want to drag you further under and hurt you more and intoxicate you and make you become addicted-"

" Cas , shut up! You're not doing any of those things. Are you drunk?"

A small laugh came from  Castiel's  lips but sounded foreign. "I think so, yeah. I'm drunk."

"Jesus Christ, Angel," Dean sighed into the speaker of the phone. "Put King on the phone." 

Castiel  shook his head and immediately regretted the action because of how it pitched his world to the side. "I don't want to." 

His world pitched again and he grunted softly before a hand pushed him back up and took the phone from his ear. 

"Dean? Yeah, it's King. Call me Gadreel." There was a beat of silence while Gadreel listened to Dean and crouched down beside  Castiel , helping him sit up again to hand him the glass of water.  Castiel  downed a gulp before shaking his head and putting it on the table. 

"Not vodka,"  Castiel  grumbled, trying to pull himself away from Gadreel to grab the bottle again. "Let me go." 

"No way,  Cas ." Gadreel sighed, tightening his grip on  Castiel's  sleeve. "Yeah, I got here about half an hour ago. He called me as said that he wanted to hang out, get drunk, so I agreed. I thought it was a little suspicious. Something's going through his pretty little mind and tearing him apart, Dean.

"It's not your fault. Don't say that. It's not your fault and it is not his either. You're both stressed out." 

Castiel  finally got his shirt unbuttoned and slid his arm out of the sleeve, reaching down and grabbing the bottle of vodka. 

"Dammit,  Castiel -" Gadreel cursed. "One second. He's being a fucking child." Gadreel set down the phone and grabbed  Castiel's  arm, tugging him up again and ripping the bottle from his hands after  Castiel  managed to get in one shot's worth. "No more,  Cas . You understand me?" 

Castiel  just ground his teeth together and glared at Gadreel. 

Gadreel picked up the bottle of whiskey as well as the phone and walked away with all three items, leaving  Castiel  to sit alone on the couch, head spinning and wishing he had more vodka to drink. 


	11. The Tension

"Rise and shine, kiddo!" Those were the first words  Castiel  heard in the morning after his vodka trip. "Come on,  Cas , wake up." 

"I'm not kiddo,"  Castiel  complained, covering his face with his arm. "The sun hurts. I hate the sun. Make it go away." 

Dean laughed and  Castiel  winced, rolling over and groaning. His stomach was churning. 

"Trash can- something-" he choked out, feeling something rising in his throat. " Gonna  be sick-" 

Dean hurriedly helped  Castiel  up and into the bathroom, where  Castiel  barely made it to the toilet before puking. Dean crouched beside him, rubbing his back softly. 

When  Castiel  was done he flushed the toilet and leaned back, completely and utterly miserable. "I'm never drinking again," he groaned, allowing himself to lay on the cold tiles. "Never let me get drunk. Drunk  Cas  is not Fun  Cas ." 

"Drunk  Cas  is Fun  Cas ," Dean argued softly, his hand rubbing  Castiel's  arm now. "Hungover  Cas ... Not so much. Hungover  Cas  is not a  Cas  I would like to see daily." 

"The cold is good." 

"I bet it is." 

"It's not comfortable, though,"  Castiel  grunted, forcing himself to sit up. "If I can't lay in bed can I sit on the couch?" 

"Sure thing, kiddo."

"Not kiddo." 

Dean smiled and kissed his temple. "I'll help you to the couch and service your every need,  Cas ." 

"You don't have to do-"

"I want to. Let me."

Castiel  opened his eyes halfway to look at Dean, then sighed in resignation. Dean knew what it meant and helped him off of the refreshing cold tiles (his saviors) and into the living room.  Castiel  winced at the sunlight forcing its way through his eyelids and Dean covered his eyes before laying him on the couch. 

"You want something cold to help? Ice or something?"

Castiel  nodded, laying on his side on the cushions. He listened to Dean's footsteps and covered his eyes with his arm, hand tangling in his hair. 

Dean came back a few moments later with a glass of water and an ice pack from the freezer for  Castiel . He set the water down on the table and sat down on the floor in front of  Castiel . The ice pressed to  Castiel's  arm before he reached out and took it, pressing it against his stomach under his t-shirt and sighing happily at the contact. 

Dean's fingers lightly plucked at his hair. "Sit up a little," Dean whispered. "You need to drink some water. I hear that it helps get rid of the headache." 

Castiel  opened his eyes and lowered his arm slightly, knowing his face was emotionless. "No sitting up. The ice will fall." 

"I'll hold it there. Come on,  Cas ."

Castiel  groaned and shook his head. "No more puking. Puking is not fun." He closed his eyes again and covered them with his forearm. 

"No, it's not." Dean sighed.  Castiel  felt him playing with his hair still and sighed through his nose. 

Last night Gadreel had needed to go to some interview or something, so he'd called Dean. Neither of them had wanted to leave  Castiel  alone. 

So Dean showed up around five p.m. and stayed.

At first when Dean showed up,  Castiel  was sheltered and hid in the bathroom, claiming he needed to take a shower. He eventually got over it when Dean called him out on not having the water running and sat outside of the door waiting for  Castiel . He was sitting on the other side of the door and could hear Dean humming softly. 

"Sing for me?"  Castiel  had slurred just loud enough for Dean to hear. 

A soft voice floated under the door after a few seconds, singing Oh! Darling by the Beatles and making  Castiel  smile. 

That same voice was falling over his ears, singing the same song as it had last night, tugging at  Castiel's  lips with every note. Somehow the voice wasn't grating against his ears like every other noise had. 

"Believe me when I tell you/ I'll never do you no harm," Dean sang softly, his voice soothing  Castiel's  ears.  Castiel  felt himself slipping back into the darkness of sleep, escorted by Dean's lilting and rough voice. 

Hours later, he found himself waking up with less of a headache and no ice pack against his aching stomach.  Cas  grunted slightly as he shifted, his arm buzzing and asleep and limp. He caught a glimpse of someone on the floor beside him and smiled slightly. 

"Dean," he whispered, using his good arm to reach down and gently shake the man's shoulder. "Dean, wake up." 

Dean's eyelashes fluttered and he exhaled slowly, his hand lifting to catch  Castiel's . "What time is it?" 

"I'm not sure, but I'm starving. Do you want to get something to eat?" 

"Sure. Yeah. After sleep," Dean muttered sleepily, his grip on  Castiel's  hand loosening.  Castiel  sighed and rolled his eyes, using his foot to shove the coffee table to the side after moving so that he was sitting up. Dean heard the movement and frowned, grunting softly to ask just what  Castiel  was doing. He received his answer when  Castiel  fell off of the couch, onto his knees, straddling Dean's hips.  Castiel  smiled and lightly brushed his lips against Dean's neck. 

"Rise and shine, baby,"  Castiel  mumbled, his lips wandering Dean's neck. Dean smiled and tangled a hand in  Castiel's  hair gently, grinding his hips up against  Castiel . His other hand rested on the small of  Castiel's  back, warm and gentle. Dean tugged at  Castiel's  hair and tried  ti  catch his lips, but  Castiel  avoided it. "Trust me," he whispered, sitting back on Dean's hips. "You do not want to kiss me right now." 

Dean frowned slightly and rolled his eyes, sitting up and pressing his lips against  Castiel's .  Castiel  tried to protest against it, but melted when Dean's tongue brushed against his own like a feather. His eyes closed. His heart skipped a beat. His hands lifted to Dean's jaw, tugging him just slightly closer. 

"Okay. Now you can brush your teeth," Dean whispered as he pulled away. "I probably should too. It's been over twenty-four hours." 

"You're gross,"  Castiel  teased, but made no move to get up. His head was pounding slightly again, like his heart had suddenly traded places with his brain. "I love you." 

"Love you too, Angel." 

Castiel's  fingers instinctively moved to the necklace resting on his collarbone. 

***

Fingers trembling,  Castiel  sighed and read over his paper for what very well could have been the tenth, fiftieth, hundredth, or thousandth time. It had to be perfect. He'd been working for hours under the window in his bedroom, laptop balanced in his lap. It was now five a.m., and the paper was due in nineteen hours. 

After submitting the paper,  Castiel  only had one more year at Kansas University to complete. One more year. The thought of that was refreshing, but also terrifying. 

His phone rang.  Castiel  frowned, eyes flicking to the clock on his computer screen. This was the tenth call in an hour. What the hell could be so important? 

He picked up the phone and hit the answer button, lifting it to his ear.

 "What?" he snapped. 

"Okay, I knew calling would be a bad idea," Dean sighed. "But I had to hear your voice." 

"You've heard it,"  Castiel  muttered, typing again. He'd forgotten a word. "What's wrong?" 

"I'm in a sticky position." 

"'Sticky' meaning...?" 

"Bela is trying to get me to do something more. She wants me to make the company decline. She wants our stock, our everything, to change for the worse." 

Castiel  sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting to stay awake now that he wasn't continuous staring at the laptop screen. "Dean, this is your call. Do you want to throw away good stock and throw away, as you said, everything?" 

"Of course not!" 

"Then don't. It's that simple." 

 " Cas , if I don't she's going to expose it." 

"So what? Fuck it. I don't fucking care if she does. It's just causing fucking problems." 

"Angel-" 

"Don't "Angel" me right now, please, Dean. I'm fucking pissed off. You're letting her control your life."  Castiel  sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "It's shitty."

"You know what? Screw it. I'll make my own fucking decision,  Cas . I just wanted to see if you had any input, and now that you've voiced your opinion, I've made my decision. I'll maybe see you later, I guess. Love you,  Cas ."

"Love you too, Dean,"  Castiel  grumbled right as Dean hung up on him. 

Castiel  stared down at his phone. Tensions between them had been higher than normal lately. Dean had been at work overtime lately, trying to make up for his deliberate mistakes. Every time  Castiel  showed up at Dean's house, he found him sitting on the couch with his arm covering his eyes and a tumbler of whiskey pinched between his fingers or didn't find him at all. Dean hunted down  Castiel  and usually found him working on his homework or working at the club. 

The two had gone out with Sam and Jess a few times, and they were closer than ever when in the presence of their friends. No one but them knew that the two fought with almost every chance they were given, let alone that they barely even fucked anymore. The latter was what pissed  Castiel  off most.

Tension needed release. Dean was the opposite. When he was tense and scared, he held it in and didn't even want to be touched. He screamed it out and drank it out.  Castiel  was the opposite.  Castiel  fucked it out with the guys at the club and showed it through his work. The only time he yelled was when Dean provoked him, and that was often lately. 

Today, however,  Castiel  hadn't been provoked. He was just annoyed. His essay was just getting worse in his mind, but he needed it to be perfect. Dean hadn't helped. Dean was constantly coming to him for advice, and  Castiel  knew that he wanted to be there for Dean and wanted to help Dean, but the constant need for approval before everything was stupid. It was too dependent. Dependence was fine, but not in abundance. 

Castiel  set his phone back on the floor beside him and looked back to his essay. Fuck it. One more go-through and he would save it and sleep. 

***

Dean made the company drop their second best stocks. The insurance company was starting to plummet. Their best customer was threatening to drop them. 

Castiel  felt horrible, but there was nothing he could do except the most ridiculous thing in the world. So, naturally, he did it. 

Castiel  arrived at Talbot Insurance humming some Britney Spears song from the radio. He walked up to the desk and demanded to see Ms. Talbot, threatening to stay through the night if she did not. After a small bit of demanding and subtle flirting,  Castiel  managed to get the woman behind the desk to phone upstairs and let Ms. Talbot know that she had an unpremeditated meeting. 

Next thing  Castiel  knew, he was in the elevator, imagining all of the millions of things he could say to Bela Talbot once he reached her office. He leaned against the rail on the perimeter of the elevator, bouncing his foot. His bag tapped against his thigh. He faintly heard his phone ringing, but he chose to ignore it. This was business and only business. 

He stepped into the lobby in front of Bela's office and frowned. It was lavish, yet simple. Black and white, splashes of colors on the walls and desk. Bela's secretary looked up at him and pursed her lips. "Through the door. Good luck." 

Castiel  nodded as he passed her, pushing open the door. He let it fall closed behind him and swallowed, grinding his teeth together as Bela rose from behind her desk. 

" Castiel . I thought it might be you," she drawled, eyebrows raised in amusement as she stepped around the desk. "What would you like to discuss?"

"I would like for you to stop fucking harassing Dean,"  Castiel  answered. "Why can't you leave good enough alone?" 

Bela frowned. "Leaving good enough alone is not my specialty, nor is it yours or your little boyfriend's. Good enough is not best,  Castiel ." 

"Don't call me  Castiel . This is business." 

"Okay, then. Would you prefer I called you Angel?"

The sound of the name falling from her lips made  Castiel  want to punch her lights out. He gritted his teeth and stepped forward. "It's Mr. Collins to you, Ms. Talbot.

"Now, I would like to get back on track. You have to refrain from causing Dean any more trouble. I can and will get the police involved in this. My own father is the chief of police." 

"And he is on my side. Why would he help his gay prostitute of a son?" Bela asked, her head tilting to the side in the slightest. "I know for a fact that he is a devout Christian man and does not keep in contact with his son anymore. Not even a call on his birthday, correct?" 

Anger swelled in  Castiel's  chest, making him breathe heavily. How dare she bring up what his father thought of him and what he had done? "This is not about me," he whispered. "This is about Dean, Ms. Talbot." 

"Oh, I am well aware that this all revolves around your precious Dean, Mr. Collins. He is the center of this conversation, but you are the one who is here. You are the one who I can exploit currently." 

Castiel  bit his cheek and grabbed onto the strap of his bag. 

"I've infuriated you, haven't I?" Bela took a step forward with a click. The sound made  Castiel's  jaw twitch. "You're angry. You want me to stop. Do you want me to stop,  Castiel ?"

"Mr. Collins." The words made him feel like strangling Bela then and there. "It's Mr. Collins."

"Well, Mr. Collins... Did you know that the police station is with the same insurance company that your little boyfriend owns? No? Imagine how torn apart and disgusted your father would be when he discovered that the CEO of his insurance company was dating his disgrace of a son. He wouldn't feel too safe, would he?" 

Castiel  swallowed, glaring daggers at Bela. He wished that looks could kill. 

"Exactly what I thought," she continued. "Now run along back to your boyfriend before I make both of your lives worse." 

Castiel  narrowed his eyes and stood his ground. "No. I will not leave this spot until you agree to cease harassing Dean Winchester. I will fucking die here, Ms. Talbot. You will not harass anyone in Crowley Insurance ever again, and I will be fucking sure of it. Do you understand me?" His voice carried a regal angry tone that he was shocked to hear himself speaking in. When Bela didn't respond, his voice grew louder. "Do you understand me?" 

She slowly smiled. "Sure, Mr. Collins. Mr. Winchester is completely safe for the time being." 

"As is Crowley Insurance?"

"As is Crowley Insurance," she replied coolly.

It was too easy for  Castiel  to consider it a win as he left the office with his chin held high. 

Once in the elevator, he took out his phone and answered the call. 

"Hello?" 

" Cas , finally. Why didn't you pick up?" 

"I was..."  Castiel  paused, licking his lips and shrugging slightly. "I was busy. I may have made sure that you're safe from Bela, Dean." 

"Son of a bitch,  Cas . Please tell me you're kidding." Dean's voiced was suddenly laced with terror. It invoked  Castiel's  panicking mind. 

"What? What did I do wrong?" he asked quickly and quietly as he walked through the lobby and out into the bustling street. "Dean, tell me what I did wrong." 

"You made some kind of deal with her, didn't you?" 

"No,"  Castiel  sighed. "No, I'm not that stupid. I know how to deal with business." 

"What did you do,  Cas ?" 

"I made sure she understood that you and Crowley Insurance was off-limits."  Castiel  mumbled. 

"What?" 

He spoke more clearly this time, apprehension filling his gut. "I made sure that she understood that you and Crowley Insurance was off-limits." 

"Oh,  Cas ," Dean chided, his voice soft and sad. " Cas , please tell me you're lying. Please tell me that you're just pulling my leg." 

"I'm not." 

"Fuck,  Cas . You're not out of my sight for the next fucking week, do you hear me?" Dean's voice suddenly grew angered. "You can be so naive sometimes, Angel." 

Castiel  swallowed the feelings that showed up when Dean chastised him. The sadness and hurt fell into his gut as they had multiple times before, only every time was one step closer to breaking. "I'm sorry," he whispered, phone held tight to his face. "I thought I was doing something right." 

"You weren't,  Castiel , and now you've fucked up. Get your fucking ass to my house." Dean paused for half a second and all  Castiel  could hear was his own heartbeat pounding and the rush of traffic. "Now." 

It only took  Castiel  two seconds to close his eyes and reply with a heated "Fuck you, Dean." He hit the end call button and put his phone in his pocket again as he boarded the bus to return to his apartment. 


	12. The Resolution

Dean appeared not long after  Castiel  arrived home. He had just thrown his bag down on the couch and stepped into the kitchen to get a glass of water when he heard the door opening and sighed.  Castiel  pulled two glasses down from the cabinet and filled them both with water as Dean came storming into the kitchen. 

"I distinctly remember telling you to fuck yourself,"  Castiel  muttered, turning around and leaning against the edge of the counter, glass of water raised to his lips. 

"Yeah, well, it's not that easy," Dean replied. His voice was clipped. "I'm not that easy to get rid of, Angel." 

"Don't fucking "Angel" me."  Castiel  looked up at Dean through his eyelashes, swishing the water around in his glass. "If you don't want me to kick you out, don't call me that." His free hand lifted to his necklace.

Dean seemed taken aback. "So I won't call you Angel right now. Okay." 

"Not while I'm pissed off, you won't." 

"Then what can I do to help you not be pissed off?" Dean asked, stepping forward.  Castiel  looked up fully and met Dean's eyes, frowning. "Come on,  Cas ." 

"Fuck me, then."  Castiel  sighed and set his glass down on the counter. "Fuck me right here. Right now." 

" Cas -"

"I have fucking tension that I need to let out and I know you fucking do too. I don't understand why or how you can stay cooped up in that house, drinking away that tension, when you have me. Jesus Christ, Dean! I'm a fucking prostitute after all; I'm made for sex! Why won't you just fuck me?"  Castiel  whispered the words. "Are you just disgusted with me?" Blatant confusion crossed Dean's face. "Are you disgusted by me? Is that why you barely even touch me lately? You probably haven't realized, but I have. The only time you've touched me in any way other than friendly is when we're out with your brother and Jess. Why? Dean, why?" 

They were toe to toe now, Dean staring at  Castiel  in confusion,  Castiel  staring at him with watery eyes. 

"You've barely kissed me in a month, Dean. You've barely even touched my hand in a month. I understand that when you're upset you want space, but, fuck, that's too much. If you don't want to be with me, just fucking say it. If you're disgusted by me like my own family is- like everyone is- then spit it out." 

Dean stared down at him for a few seconds before reaching forward and grabbing  Castiel's  face. He pulled him into a long, deep kiss that made  Castiel  feel... claimed. Dean was marking his property, claiming  Castiel  as his own as he slammed him back against the counter. 

Castiel's  own hands lifted and tangled in the short strands of Dean's hair. Their noses and lips smashed together, claiming the other. This was all about claiming. 

Dean tore at the buttons of  Castiel's  shirt, breath rushed and heavy he kissed a trail down  Castiel's  jaw and neck. The kisses left  Castiel's  skin tingling with excitement and anticipation.  Castiel  gasped for air, his hands running down Dean's back. Dean latched onto his neck hard enough to leave marks and  Castiel  moaned wordlessly. His hands moved to the front of Dean's slacks and quickly unbuckled the belt. Deft, lithe fingers dug into Dean's waistband and tugged, a thumb forcing the button through and making the slacks fall. 

Their lips slammed together again and it was Dean's turn to moan, long and low and smooth. Strong hands tore down  Castiel's  pants and underwear. They pulled apart when Dean's thumb brushed along the length of  Castiel . A gasp and shudder tore through his body and mind. For some reason he hadn't been expecting it. 

Dean's hands snuck around his waist again and soon they were flush together, both with their pants and underwear on their ankles.  Castiel  kicked his off and toed his shoes off as they kissed again, feeling Dean doing almost the same thing. 

"Lube-" 

"Condom," Dean gasped as they pulled apart again, his cock rubbing against  Castiel's  as their hips rutted together. 

"Fuck the condom,"  Castiel  exhaled, grabbing Dean's hand and licking it from heel to fingertip. He playfully bit Dean's fingertip and smiled slightly, continuing until Dean's hand was wet. He dropped the hand and looked into Dean's eyes, smirking slightly. "Touch yourself."

That's when Dean understood what he was doing. He smirked and spit into his hand, reaching down and wrapping his fingers around his cock. His hand worked fast and  Castiel  eventually had to stop him so that he didn't finish before they even fucked with a little laugh and a long kiss. Dean's fingers worked him slowly, almost torturous, after he lifted him up and set him on the counter.  Castiel's  legs slid around Dean's waist. 

Within a few seconds, Dean was inside of him, claiming him more with every thrust and every push and pull and angle. Every touch was like a lightning bolt under  Castiel's  skin. Every hit sent a rush through his body, and the only way  Castiel  knew how to voice his appreciation was in moans and in touches. 

His hands glided down Dean's back, fingertips on his spine. It quickly turned into scratches down Dean's spine. His parted lips brushed against Dean's, occasionally dragging and making Dean kiss him. His eyes closed for a few seconds until Dean hit the spot again and made him gasp and shiver and open his eyes. 

Within a minute,  Castiel  was overwhelmed by every touch and every possessive movement that he came. It was the most violent he'd ever been. His whole body trembled and Dean's name peeled from his lips in a shout. His fingers dug into Dean's skin hard enough to leave bruises under the little crescents of broken skin. 

Dean followed not long after,  Castiel's  name falling from his lips like an unheard prayer as he did, lips against  Castiel's  neck. It was a string of "Oh,  Cas , baby, Angel, fuck-" repeated over and over and over until he was done, and even a little bit afterward. 

Lungs grasped at every chance they could for air. Minds and eyes were fuzzy and glossy. Red flushed their skin in multiple places, clashing with the purple of their already healing  lovebites . 

The couple pulled apart slowly,  Castiel , wincing slightly as Dean pulled out of him. The soreness was welcome and almost soothing. It had been a while since  Castiel  had felt this good while feeling sore. He slid back to his feet with a grunt and reached for the dish towel to wipe himself clean, but Dean beat him to it. His tongue lapped up the come, making  Castiel  tense up and wonder if he could possibly go another time after that. 

Maybe later,  Castiel  decided as Dean stood again, his eyes heated and meeting  Castiel's . They quickly changed after that, though, into something sad and almost confused. 

Worry. That's what it was. Worry eclipsed the bedroom eyes and terrified  Castiel . They turned away from each other and  Castiel  took a deep breath. 

"I didn't know it bothered you so much," Dean admitted breathily, pulling his underwear and slacks back up and buttoning them. He licked his lips, accepting the glass of now warm water when  Castiel  handed it to him.  Castiel  watched him down it while buttoning his own jeans, fascinated by the way Dean's  adam's  apple moved when he did, fascinated by the slightest movement his body made. "I didn't know that you were so pissed off. I mean, I knew that you were pissed but I didn't know that my- my- my actions were the problem." 

Castiel  sighed and buttoned his shirt up again. His hand was grabbed suddenly, fingers curling around his palm and pulling it away. His eyes moved up to search Dean's face for something other than the obvious sorrow. Dean worked the pearl- esque  buttons out of the fabric before adjusting the shirt and starting to  rebutton  them. 

"It's not really that,"  Castiel  mumbled, still watching Dean's face for some vary in emotion. "I just used that as an excuse. With school ending, I've been stressed out. It just means another year of the same old same old." 

"It won't be that bad," Dean replied, glancing up through his eyelashes. His eyes met  Castiel's  and his lips quirked up at the corners. "You'll be one step closer to finishing." 

"That also means finding a job,"  Castiel  sighed. "And quitting the club." 

"Isn't that almost an up-side?" 

Castiel  huffed a laugh. "Whatever." 

When Dean finished buttoning his shirt, he smoothed it down and lifted his hands to  Castiel's  cheeks. He looked him in the eye and smiled in the slightest, thumbs brushing over  Castiel's  sex-flushed cheeks. "I love you,  Cas ." 

"I love you too, Dean,"  Castiel  whispered. His hand lifted to Dean's shoulder. The other lifted as well, gently pinching Dean's chin and tilting his head down to kiss him. "I'm sorry for snapping." 

"No,  Cas , don't apologize. I'm sorry too." Dean breathed, forehead against  Castiel's . 

Castiel  licked his lips and closed his eyes as Dean took his wrist and kissed his fingertips before lacing their fingers together. 

Castiel  smiled and accepted the soft and loving kiss Dean gave him. 

The two ended up retiring to the couch to watch Love Actually, curled up under the blanket they always used when laying on the couch in  Castiel's  apartment. Their hands were laced together over the blanket and they sat as close as possible to each other.  Castiel  ended up draping his legs over Dean's lap sitting with his back against the arm of the couch. He smiled and watched Dean more often than he watched the movie. 

It felt new again. Their whole relationship felt new again, beautiful and cautious and small but also so huge and terrifying. 

That lasted for a few days. 

They were back to normal. Their routine of spending the nights at each others places, eating take out, laughing, having sex, and kissing was back in full. Bliss fell over them until  Castiel  got his marks for school. 

That night, he broke down for some reason. He didn't know why. Something inside of his mind just snapped and he picked up a bottle of alcohol and a bottle of old painkillers. He wanted to get drunk and he wanted to get high. 

He downed a few painkillers dry. He waited until his head was spinning and his vision was a little blurry before taking a swig of whiskey. His breathing slowed, growing shallow and rickety. 

He slipped down to lay on the floor, smiling to himself. Eyes closing, he sighed and licked his lips. 

Then the door clicked open. It took  Castiel  a second to register it. He sat up slowly, snatching his little orange bottle from the table just before Dean could grab it. He put the cap on it and picked up his bottle of whiskey before getting to his feet and shuffling to the bathroom. 

He could hear Dean following behind him. Heavy footsteps fell on the floor.  Castiel  felt like every one was a blow to his body, racking through him and shaking his world. He put the bottle back among the multiple other orange bottles hoping Dean didn't figure out which one it was. When he turned around with a satisfied smile on his lips, he bumped into Dean with a grunt. 

"Dean! I didn't know you were home," he slurred, smiling and setting the bottle of whiskey on the sink. His hands lifted to the lapels of Dean's jacket, flattening them even more as he lifted up on his toes slightly and kissed him softly. 

" Cas , are you high?" Dean asked quietly, honey-dipped rock voice sounding like an angel's song to  Castiel . 

"Maybe a little," he muttered, shrugging and kissing Dean again. "You want some? Sex is amazing when you're high." 

"No,  Cas ! Son of a bitch, what the hell did you take?" 

"Some painkillers." 

"How many?" Dean slid an arm around his shoulders and picked up the bottle from the sink.  Castiel  reached for it, but Dean held it out of his reach.  Castiel  frowned and reached further, but fell. Dean caught him with one arm and sighed. " Cas , answer me. How many did you take?"

"Four or five,"  Castiel  answered, extending and his fingers toward the bottle. "Hand it over, Dean. I'm thirsty." 

"You're  hugh ," Dean mumbled. "I'm not letting you mix alcohol and painkillers." 

"That's what helps the high!"  Castiel  complained, trying to grab Dean's arm and pull it back. All he succeeded in was pulling Dean's jacket sleeve up. "Give it!" 

"No, you five year old. Now sit the fuck down." Dean shoved  Castiel  onto the couch and shook his head. He took a long drink of the whiskey straight from the bottle as he walked out of the room. 

Castiel  huffed and got to his feet again, chasing after Dean. "Dean, hand me the bottle! You're being an asshole-" 

"And I thought we agreed that you were never drinking again," Dean replied, turning around and pointing the neck of the bottle at  Castiel .  Cas  reached for it. "So I'm going to help you stick to that pact. Go sit the fuck down,  Castiel ." 

"I'm not  Castiel ; I'm Angel. I'm your Angel,"  Castiel  whined, stomping a foot. "Now stop it and just give me to bottle, Dean." 

"Jesus fucking Christ,  Castiel ! You're acting like that five year old girl that that name implies. Maybe I should be fucking calling you Angel." At that, Dean turned around and set the bottle on the counter.  Castiel  tried to reach around him and grab it, but Dean prevented it by grabbing his waist and picking him up. Before  Cas  could extend his arm and grab the bottle, Dean walked away,  Castiel  draped over his shoulder. 

"Put me down!"  Castiel  yelled, hitting Dean's back. "I'm not some seven year old! Put me down!" 

"You act like a seven year old, I'll treat you like one," Dean deadpanned. "Stop and I'll put you down." 

"No!"  Castiel  pounded his hand against Dean's back, shouting at him. "Put me fucking down, you  assbutt !" 

"No." 

Castiel  growled and slapped his hand against Dean's back as hard as he could, kicking his legs too. He knew his feet were hitting Dean's legs with every movement hard enough to leave a bruise. When he opened his eyes, he was being dropped onto the bed, the door closed to keep them in the room.

"Stay there," Dean commanded, pointing at  Castiel , his eyes on fire. "If you move at all, I'm going to... I don't know what I'll do, but I'll do something." 

Dean frowned and kept an eye on  Castiel  as he took off his tie, a look of faint disgust on his face. 

It made  Castiel  sober up a little. His head turned toward Dean and he sat up, moving so his feet were on the floor and he was sitting at the foot of the bed. 

Dean watched the movement, and when he was finally satisfied that  Castiel  wasn't going to take off, he turned as shed his jacket. 

At that moment,  Castiel  stood up and snuck out of the room quickly, closing the door behind him and hurrying into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and laughed. He did it! Hell yeah. He opened the medicine cabinet and took out the bottle of pills, downing another. 

His vision blurred again slightly and he smiled, lifting a hand to scratch at his cheek. He closed the medicine cabinet door and looked at his reflection, grinning at the rosy cheeked guy in the mirror, staring back at him. 

A knock on the door startled him. " Cas , let me in." 

"No,"  Castiel  answered. "You'll make me stop being high." 

"I just want to help you." 

"If you want to help me, then don't look at me in disgust. Don't get mad at me. I'm not some perfect guy, Dean." 

"I know," Dean replied after a minute, his voice soft. "I know you're not, baby, but I want to help you to feel as close to perfect as possible. Please come out." 

"I don't want to. I want to keep taking these. They make me feel good. My body is buzzing." 

" Cas , you're numb. It's taking away your sense. Come on, Angel." 

Fingers touched the tiny angel pendant on  Castiel's  necklace, but it wasn't there.  Castiel  was faintly aware of the terror that swept through his body. 

"No," he said a little too loud. "No. Where is it? Where could it be?" He frantically patted around the rest of his body, his breathing speeding up. Tears filled his eyes. 

" Cas ? What's-"

Castiel  practically ripped the door off of the hinges. "Where the fuck is it? What the fuck?" he spoke to himself, moving hurriedly. He tore the cushions off of the couch, patting down the fabric that was always hidden beneath them and between them. He felt the hot tears running down his cheeks and dropped down to the floor, looking under the couch, then under the table. After that he rushed into the kitchen, aware of Dean following him. His own footsteps were light and airy compared to Dean's leaden steps. 

He frantically searched through the piles of papers on the table, throwing them to the floor as he did. 

An arm circled around his waist and turned him around. 

Next thing  Castiel  knew, his face was pressed into Dean's shoulder, his hands gripping the back of Dean's shirt as he shook with sobs. "I'm sorry," he sobbed, nuzzling further into Dean's neck and trying to bury himself in the lime and peppermint aftershave scent. "I'm so sorry. I lost it. I lost it, Dean. I can't believe-"

" Shh , Angel." 

That only made  Castiel  cry harder. 

Dean's hands smoothed down his back, the previous anger gone as soon as  Castiel  started crying.  Castiel  sniffled against Dean's collar and clutched him close, still whispering his apologies and disbelief. 

" Cas , stop blubbering and tell me what you lost." Dean whispered the words against his hair, soft and soothing. 

"The necklace,"  Castiel  whispered. "I can't believe I lost it, Dean." 

"It's fine," Dean mumbled. "We can get you another one, baby. Maybe we can get you that bottle glass one or the wing one." 

Castiel  shook his head. "It won't be the same one, Dean," he protested, pulling out of the hug. "It's not the same one that you gave me for Christmas." 

Dean sighed and wiped his cheeks with a thumb, smiling slightly. "It'll be even better, Angel. I promise." 

Castiel  shook his head and pulled himself out of the embrace. "It won't be the one that I've worn for almost seven months, Dean. No. I have to find the angel at least." 

"Dammit,  Cas , that angel was practically glued onto that chain. There is no way you'll find only the angel." 

"Shut up, Dean,"  Castiel  sighed, his hands lifting to his head. "Please." 

There was no response other than a frustrated sigh. 

Castiel  groaned and bit his cheek, feeling like he was going to fall over. "I want another pill." 

"No," Dean said a little too loud for  Castiel's  liking. "You're going to poison yourself. Don't you dare." An arm shot out and blocked  Castiel's  exit.

Castiel  frowned and glared up at Dean. He turned around and snatched the bottle off of the counter, downing a swig before it was snatched out of his hands.  Castiel  huffed angrily and shoved past Dean, heading into the living room and plopping down on the couch cushion on the floor. After a second he shifted to lay with his head on the pillow. 

A few minutes of having his eyes closed and resting his head did him some good. He sighed and felt his breathing even out again. When he opened his eyes again, Dean was standing above him. "Can you put on a CD?"  Castiel  asked, lifting his hands to toy with Dean's fingers. "I don't care what CD. The DVD player works as a CD player." 

Dean sighed and lightly brushed his fingers against  Castiel's  palm.  Castiel  swore he saw lightning spark between their skin. He smiled and watched Dean, head tipped back against the pillow. Dean crouched down in front of the DVD player, exchanging the DVD in the tray with a CD.  Castiel  stretched like a cat and let his fingertips brush against the floor, enjoying the soft feel of the carpet against his skin. Dean appeared above him as the Across the Universe soundtrack started to play out loud. 

Castiel  grinned and hummed the first song lightly, his fingers painting invisible lines on Dean's tan and freckled skin. He could see the beautiful colors blending together against the skin, blue and orange and green and teal and white and red, every color of the rainbow, every color in existence painting Dean's skin, making him into this bright, colorful, happy form, reflecting his soul. 

Then the colors blended further together, creating a murky black color and cracking in parts. The beauty rushed from Dean's skin and onto  Castiel's  fingertips, onto his own skin.  Castiel  gasped softly and sat up, staring down at his arms now covered in the beauty that had been Dean's only moments ago. 

"No," he muttered, turning around and wiping his hand against Dean's neck. "No, come on. It's not mine. I don't want it. Give it back! Take it back!"  Castiel  whined, wiping his hand against Dean's blackened skin. "It's his soul, not mine." 

"What are you going on about, baby?" Dean asked, but his voice sounded distorted. It was rougher than normal. "Stop that." He grabbed Castiel's hand. 

"Your soul, I'm sucking it all out of you and leaving you black and cracked- no- take it back, Dean, please take it back. It's your soul, not mine. I don't want your soul; I don't want to be the one to suck up your soul. It's so pretty. I don't deserve it. You do. Take it back!" Castiel rambled on, probably sounding completely insane. "Take it back!" 

Dean looked at him weird, the whites and greens of his eyes bright against the black of his evident soul. He stuttered as he spoke. "I- uh- Yeah, sure, I'll take it back. Give it back to me if you can, Cas." 

Castiel ran his fingers down Dean's arms and sighed in relief when it finally worked. "Please stay. Stay happy and beautiful like this as much as you can, Dean. Stay colorful and beautiful. Don't let the colors run together into that weird black-"

"I will, Cas. Calm down. It's okay; I'm okay; You're okay. Lay down again, Angel. You need to calm down." 

***

Four days later, Castiel found the necklace. He called Dean immediately after finding it, shaking with excitement. 

"I found it," were the first words out of his mouth when Dean picked up the phone at work. "I found it!" 

"Found what?" Dean inquired, voice business-like. 

"Shit, are you in a meeting?" 

"No. I just got out of one. Sorry." 

"It's okay. I found the necklace, Dean. It was in the bathroom on the floor." 

"Really? That's awesome!" 

"You'd think I would have found it sooner, right?" Castiel grinned, holding the chain in his hand. He pinned the phone between his ear and his shoulder, lifting it up by the end of the chain. "I just thought you should know that I found it. We don't have to get a new one." 

"Sounds good," Dean sighed, his voice making him sound like he was smiling. "I'll call you soon, okay?"

Castiel frowned slightly, his joy plummeting. "Okay. I'll talk to you later." 

"Love you."

"Love you too. Have a good day," Castiel muttered. He hung up after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've officially finished writing this fic! I'll be posting the rest of it soon, in my normal increments. Hopefully I can begin a new one soon to start posting as soon as I'm ready for it and know where I want to go with it. Until then, I'm going to be writing one-shots that I'll post between these chapters. :-)  
> Thanks for reading! Leave comments if you'd like, and feel free to leave kudos! It's all appreciated.


	13. The OD

Five days. That's all it took for  Castiel's  life to fall down around him again. 

"She's trying to get me to do another thing," Dean whispered that night, laying next to  Castiel  in bed. His hand brushed against  Castiel's  thigh, fingers resting on the skin and sending a warm tingle through  Castiel's  sudden dread. 

"What is it this time?"  Castiel  whispered, turning to lay on his side, facing Dean. 

Dean's head turned so their eyes met. Dean's seemed broken and torn again. "She wants me to resign completely." 

"You're not doing that,"  Castiel  said instantly. "There is no way in Hell that I am letting you do that, Dean." 

"I know. I'm going to refuse..." Dean trailed off, his hand lifting to  Castiel's  neck. He tugged him closer, their foreheads pressing together. Their breath mingled between them, a cloud of warmth that would join the warm summer night. "But she's going to end up going after you,  Cas ."

"I don't mind,"  Castiel  whispered. "As long as she doesn't go after you and your company." 

"She's going to get me through you, baby."

"No, she won't,"  Castiel  whispered, his lips pressing to Dean's. "Go to sleep, Green Eyes. It's late and you have work tomorrow." 

"Like you don't," Dean teased, sliding an arm over  Castiel's  waist. "I'll go to sleep when you do." 

"Whatever,"  Castiel  smiled, dread being shoved to the side so that he could appreciate the feeling of Dean's kiss and of the weight of his arm against his side. Dean's hand flattened out against the small of his back and  Castiel  smiled, nose bumping against Dean's as he dragged himself closer to the warmth of Dean's body, despite the fact that it was relatively warm outside of the blankets already. His own arm fell over Dean's chest, fingers dangling off the side of the bed, and his head rested on the same pillow as Dean's. 

"I love you,  Cas ." 

"I love you too, Dean."

"Goodnight, Angel." 

"Goodnight." 

It was easy to fall asleep after saying goodnight. 

The next day, Dean told Bela no. He would not resign from his position at Crowley Insurance. 

Castiel  kissed him hello when he returned home, a soft, slow, proud kiss. Dean was finally standing up to Bela.  Castiel  really was proud. 

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel a little harder before pulling away. "I hope you slept most of the day," Dean quipped, sliding out of his blazer and sighing. Castiel leaned against the wall, dressed in his new outfit for the club. He'd been trying it on when the door clicked, signaling that Dean was home. 

"I did," Castiel smiled, tilting his head so it rested against the wall. "Are you heading home when I go to the club?"

"I was thinking that I could drop you off today..." Dean tested, looking at Castiel from the corner of his eye. 

Castiel grinned. "That sounds wonderful." 

Dean smiled back at him, sliding his hands around Castiel's wrists when he finally finished rolling up his sleeves. His eyes grazed over Castiel's form slowly. "I like it." 

Castiel laughed. "Do you?" He swayed his hips slowly, keeping Dean's eye contact. "If you like it then the guys will love it." 

Dean laughed and tugged Castiel closer with one hand, swaying with him. "The blue button up really makes those baby blues pop." 

Castiel felt his grin widen and slid one arm around Dean's neck. "And the white panties?" 

"I could bounce a fucking penny off of this ass," Dean breathed against Castiel's lips, his free hand wandering down to squeeze Castiel's ass. Castiel chuckled and let his lips graze against Dean's. 

"I'll be back home at four a.m., and when I do get home I'm going to blow your fucking mind." His other hand lifted to Dean's hair. "Drive you insane." 

Dean sighed softly, his hips moving against Castiel's, lips dragging against Castiel's cheek. Castiel smiled and playfully tugged on Dean's hair. Dean smiled again and kissed Castiel gently. "What time do you have to be there?"

"Before nine," Castiel whispered. 

"So we have time to-"

"Save it," Castiel laughed, finger pressing against Dean's lips to keep him from another kiss. Dean frowned, pouting slightly. "After work. I can't blow your mind right now. I have to be able to leave you wanting more." 

Dean grumbled and tugged Castiel close again, kissing him roughly. When he pulled back again, his voice was raspy and sexy. "At least let me do that." 

"The No Kissing Policy doesn't apply to you and you know that, Dean," Castiel muttered, kissing Dean again. "Can I go change now?"

"No." 

"Come on, baby." 

"Fine, but leave the button up on. It looks amazing." 

Castiel nodded and left Dean with a lingering touch, heading into the bedroom to change into jeans. He stumbled back out, tugging on socks, to find Dean laying on the couch, feet propped up on the arm of the couch. Castiel grabbed Dean's shoulders and lifted him up slightly, sitting down and dropping Dean's head back into his lap. His fingers combed through Dean's hair. "What're you reading?"

Green eyes flicked from the yellowing pages to Castiel before the book tilted. "Vonnegut." 

"Which story?"

"Slaughterhouse." 

Castiel smiled and nodded, watching Dean as he read, twirling a short strand of hair around his finger. Every once in a while Dean's eyes would flick up to meet Castiel's and his face would soften into a small smile. Castiel smiled back and playfully pulled the strand of hair he was twirling. Dean eventually finished the story and dog-eared the page, setting the book down on the coffee table and reaching up to grab the back of Castiel's neck. He pulled Castiel down and met him halfway, kissing him lovingly. 

"Want to go out for dinner?" 

"Only if you do," Castiel replied, smiling again. "It's up to you." 

"Well, I don't really feel like cooking and you don't seem to feel up to it either," Dean mumbled, feigning deep thought by tapping a finger against his chin. "Let's go. Does the diner sound good?"

"It sounds awesome," Castiel sighed. "It feels like it's been forever since I've had a burger."

"You had one two days ago!"

"Yeah- forever!" Castiel laughed when Dean playfully slapped the side of his head. 

***

The real moment it fell apart was three days after, making it five days since Dean told Castiel that Bela was trying to blackmail him again. 

Castiel had been sitting in the living room, reading and waiting for Dean to come home with their take-out, when there was a knock on the door. He frowned. Dean never knocked. Had they really ordered that much? He couldn't open the door? Castiel sighed and set down his book, opening the door.

"Castiel." 

Dread and anger settled in Castiel's gut before raising like bile. His hands started shaking first. Somehow, he kept his face a blank mask. 

"Father." 

He met those blue eyes and swallowed, trying to force what he wanted to throw up down again before he literally did vomit on his father's pristine black dress shoes. The hand on the doorknob slipped slightly when his father spoke again. 

"May I come in?"

Castiel swallowed again, his head pounding as he nodded silently and stepped off to the side to let his father in. As his father stepped inside, he revealed his mother standing behind him. The taste of metal filled Castiel's mouth. 

Dean would be back any second, and now here Castiel was, standing in front of his parents- the people he hadn't seen let alone spoken to for three years now- trying to throw his shields and walls up as quickly as possible. 

Castiel's parents stood in the center of the room, looking around slowly. Everything about them spoke judgement and religion- the cross on his mother's chest, his father's creased slacks, his mother's skirt. Hell, even their shoes did. 

"I- uh-" Castiel stammered. "Excuse me for a moment, please." 

Castiel nodded and stepped away, heading toward the bathroom. He closed and locked the door behind him, dropping to his knees in front of the toilet and puking. He dry heaved for a few seconds, his heart racing. 

He tugged his phone out of his pocket and sighed, trying to calm his shaking nerves. He held down the number two, calling Dean. 

After the sixth ring, there was no response. Castiel cursed and exhaled, running the faucet and cupping his hands under it. He lifted water to his mouth and swished it around before spitting it out and standing again. 

The medicine cabinet was open a little. Castiel could see the edge of a little orange bottle. Before he knew what he was doing, he was swallowing one pill in an attempt to calm himself down. He stepped back out into the living room on shaking legs. 

"Sorry about that," he said as he walked out, then stopped in his tracks when he saw the open door and the man standing by the door, looking a little confused and terrified. He cursed again, receiving a stink-eye from his mother. "Um... Dean, these are my parents." 

Dean's eyes met his and grew even more confused before flashing with realization. Dean smiled slightly and set down the take-out, closing the door behind him. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Collins." 

"Hello," Castiel's mother greeted, taking Dean's hand in greeting. Castiel's father frowned at the contact. Dean held out his hand to the man, but he just glared down at it. Dean slowly lowered his hand and moved to stand beside Castiel a little awkwardly. 

Castiel found his presence only slightly comforting. 

"I'm going to guess that you are Dean Winchester," Castiel's father stated, eyes meeting Dean's. Castiel felt their fingers brush together and tensed slightly. He was resorting into his old habit: Whenever his father spoke, Castiel went rigid and listened with every piece of his body. The police chief demanded attention at every word. 

"Yes, I am." 

"And you're dating my filthy son." Castiel's father stated the words as if Dean had just murdered an infant. "So that makes you just as filthy as him."

"On the contrary, Father," Castiel spoke, angered by the insult toward Dean, "he's quite clean." Insults were fine if they were directed at him, he was used to it, but he was not going to stand by and allow them to insult Dean without even knowing him. "He's the cleanest man I've ever known. More than you, obviously."

"Shut your whore mouth. That Talbot woman told me and your mother what you're doing for a living," his father spat, stepping toward Castiel and towering over him. Castiel sighed. Bela. Of course. Why didn't he make the connection before? "Selling your filthy body to men. Disgusting." 

"I seem to recall that you believed differently when you took that woman into our home and into your bed," Castiel hissed, hands balling into fists. He wanted to punch his father so bad. The urge was overwhelming. But he had to fight it. If he gave in, something more than this would happen. Words were words, no matter how much they hurt. "You bedded her and paid her and then kicked her out after she refused to change her religion to fit your liking." 

"Don't you dare speak of your father that way!" his mother gasped, he fingers on her cross. "You know that he's correct; you're filth, Castiel. You have been since day one." 

Castiel's throat closed up at his mother's words. She'd always been the one he turned to. She'd always been there for him, been the one he stayed up with on New Years when his father was out on the job. He'd always been the one to comfort her as well, calming her down in his freshman year when his father was shot and put in the hospital for months. He'd been there for her when his father had started to drink. He'd been nothing but the perfect son, but yet they shunned him and kicked him out of their home without a second thought or regret when he revealed to them that he was gay. 

Dean's hand wrapped around Castiel's gently. 

"I never thought I'd hear those words from you, Mom," Castiel whispered, tugging his hand out of Dean's grip. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Good to know how you really feel." 

"Castiel, I've felt like this ever since you told us. It has not changed over the years. You disgust me." 

Castiel's father laughed. "Look, Naomi. He's crying. The faggot is crying." 

Castiel steeled his expression again. His father had always been this way. Pissed off at the world and ready to change it into his own. That was Bartholomew Collins. 

"Why do I even call you my parents?" Castiel asked quietly, but the words held more force than they had when he'd screamed them when he was kicked out. "You are not my parents. That fact was established three years ago when you told me I wasn't welcome in your house. In fact, it was established seven years ago when I kissed Meg Masters and felt nothing! So get out of my apartment. I don't know why Bela Talbot sent you here, and frankly, I don't care. I just want you both out." 

"Oh, Ms. Talbot did not send us anywhere. She simply told us what you've been up to and we took this upon ourselves. We figured you might want a little visit from your parents. After all, if you can speak to all of those men without difficulty, why couldn't you speak easily to your own mother and father?" Castiel's father replied. His voice was grating against Castiel's ears, driving into his brain and his own body, tearing him apart. "We thought you would like to know how much we hate you. How much we wish you were dead, how we wish you were never even born. I'm sure you hate yourself right now. I'm sure your contempt for us is growing by the word, but Castiel James Collins, you will never be welcome in our home again, and I will stay true to my word. If you even set foot on our lawn or on that street, I will personally take you down. I have a gun for a reason, and I intend to use it." 

"More like abuse it," Castiel whispered, eyes locked on his father's. "Use it right now, if you'd like, Father." 

"Castiel!" Dean interrupted, smacking Cas on the back of the head. "Don't fucking talk like that."

Dean then turned to Castiel's parents, his arm falling from where it had snaked around Castiel's waist. In the most authoritative voice he could manage, Dean spoke directly to them. 

"I think it's time for you two homophobic sons of bitches to leave. Get out of this apartment." 

Castiel's father grimaced and glared at Dean, cold blue eyes meeting Dean's angry green. 

"You're just as disgusting as he is." 

At that, Bartholomew and Naomi Collins took their leave. Dean slammed the door behind them and stood alone for a few seconds, staring at the door. Then he turned around and found Castiel nowhere in sight. 

Castiel had locked himself in the bathroom to cry. Dean didn't need to see him like this any more than he needed to see him taking a piss or something like that. He choked on his sobs, coughing up the remnants of what was in his stomach as he did. When he finished, he flushed the toilet and leaned back, ending up laying on the floor and sobbing his disgusting heart out. 

Dean's voice came through the door, but Castiel couldn't hear it. He was too wrapped up in his little world of his father's voice, repeating his last words directed toward Castiel. 

They both wished he was dead. They wished he had never been born. They hated him. 

His own father threatened to kill him. 

All of this over something about himself that he couldn't change unless he was just gone. He could fulfill their wishes. 

Hell, they probably wouldn't even show up to the funeral. He didn't want them there. 

Castiel didn't know what he was doing until he downed the last painkiller in the bottle. Ten painkillers in less than a minute. Combine that with the one he had taken earlier to try and calm his nerves, and that made for organ failure. Organ failure meant death. 

Castiel didn't really want to die. 

He had a job. He had friends. He had a relatively good life. He was happy most of the time, save for those previous few weeks. 

But even that had looked up. 

Castiel had Dean, for God's sake. 

His eyes welled with more tears as his breathing grew more and more shallow. Anxiety was settling in his stomach along with the eleven 10mg oxycodone. Castiel dropped the bottle when he started to shake, his vision already blurring. 

"Fuck," he breathed, stumbling over his own feet for the door. "Fuck!" 

"Cas, open the door." Dean's voice was soft, but stern. "Please." 

Castiel's legs were shaking worse than they had been when he'd seen his father. "I don't want to die," he whispered to himself, accidentally bumping into the light switch and turning the entire room black. A scream ripped from his throat. He thought he was dead. He didn't want to be dead. He didn't want everything to go black and not exist anymore. 

He didn't want to die. 

"Cas?" Dean's voice grew frantic as he pounded against the door. "Fuck, Cas!" 

Castiel finally found the doorknob and turned the lock, falling out of the dark room in a rush, falling into Dean's warm arms. 

Not necessarily the worst final moments. 

"Call 9-1-1," he breathed, tears clouding his already burred vision when he looked up at Dean. "Pills-" 

Castiel gasped in a painful breath. His body felt like it was on fire. 

"Cas? What-" Dean's hands held him up while simultaneously dragging the phone from Castiel's pocket and hitting the number one.

Speed dial was his savior. 

Castiel barely heard Dean as he rambled off the address. All he could focus on was his scent and his eyes in Castiel's mind. Castiel's eyes closed as his head lulled against Dean's shoulder. 

The fire was passing by slowly. The shaking was too. Now Castiel was just tired. He wanted to sleep. 

Faintly, he felt himself being laid down on the floor as Dean shook his shoulder lightly. "Stay awake, Cas. Come on. Stick with me. We can't get you to throw them up, but we sure as Hell can make sure you stay awake." 

"Sing to me," Castiel whispered, eyes still closed. He groaned softly at the pain that shot through his body when he spoke. 

Dean sniffed and started off with a broken sigh. "You have to sing with me, baby. Stay awake. At least until the hospital gets here." 

Castiel tried to nod. 

Dean started slowly, his hand gently pushing Castiel's hair off of his forehead. "Something in the way he moves / Attracts me like no other lover..." Dean sang slowly, his hand shaking as it toyed with Castiel's hair and brushed against his cheek and neck in a familiar pattern. Between verses, Dean would whisper something that Castiel couldn't quite make out. 

Castiel just focused on the green eyes that were reflecting back on his own eyelids. Mossy green, like the kind that grows on trees. Gold flecks sparkled in the center, circling around the pupil. Green Eyes. 

Dean. 

Castiel sang softly as well, changing every "she" to a "he" like Dean was. Inadvertently, his fingers lifted to his angel pendant that rested in the dip of his collarbone. He yawned. He shuddered with every breath. 

Dean's lips pressed to his. The scent of lime and peppermint washed over Castiel's senses, pushing everything but the feeling of those lips and the sight of those green eyes and the scent. Citrus and mint. Tangy and sweet. 

"I love you." 

Then it all went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter name kind of gives it away, doesn't it? There's one or two more chapters on their way to you, then it's over.   
> Thanks for reading, commenting, bookmarking, and leaving kudos!


	14. The Quick Fix

It was cold for summer. Rain pounded against the window. 

Dean was sitting in the waiting room next to Sam, legs spread wide, hands between them, elbows on his knees. Every time Sam reached around to rub his back and tell him that Cas was okay, Dean snapped at him to shut up. 

For all Dean knew, Cas was as good as dead. The stupid hospital wouldn't let him back to see Castiel because he "is not family." Fuck that. Dean just wanted to see his Angel and, well, make sure he wasn't an angel just yet. 

He wanted to fucking kill Bela Talbot, too. In all reality, she was the one who caused it. If she hadn't gone prying in Dean's life, if she hadn't blackmailed him, they wouldn't be in this situation right now. Dean would not be sitting in the waiting room of the nearest hospital, about to sob his eyes out, remembering every moment he'd had with Castiel so far. 

Every smile, every kiss, every laugh, every cry, everything. It was all running through his mind. His hands combed through his hair, smoothing it back and making it stick up. He sighed shakily. 

Fucking Cas and his parents. 

Mostly his parents. Fuck them. They were fucking assholes. Dean hoped he never, ever had to deal with them again. 

"Dean?" Jess asked, standing at the corner, one hand on the wall. She was completing her residency, and it just so happened that she was in the ICU ward. That was the only thing that worked out in his favor. Dean looked up and met her eyes, seeing the deep sadness in them. 

"It didn't work, did it?" Dean asked as he stood up, toying with the lowest button on his shirt. Jess smiled sadly at him and glanced over Dean's shoulder at Sam. She shook her head. 

Dean felt his heart collapse. 

"I can take you back to see him," she mumbled, gently smoothing down the wrinkles on his arm. "You probably don't want to remember him like this, but..." 

Dean nodded. "I want to see him one more time." 

Jess smiled again and slid her arm around Dean's, leading him back slowly. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Probably not," Dean replied quietly. "But I'll make it through. I always have before. I did when Dad killed himself; I did when Mom died. I even made it through when Bobby died. I'm sure as fuck going to be messed up for a while, but I'll make it." 

Jess sighed and gently rubbed his arm. "This is it." 

Dean took a deep breath and bit his cheek. He pushed the door open slowly. 

Castiel was sitting up in bed, his eyes dropping closed every few seconds. When he heard the door open, they opened again and glossy eyes barely focused on Dean's. "Hey," he rasped. "Finally. I thought it would take forever." 

Dean laughed, hand covering his mouth. He'd been expecting a dead man laying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. Jess shoved him and grinned at him, closing the door behind the two of them. Jessica had to stay in the room to make sure Castiel didn't do something ridiculous. Dean made his way to stand by the edge of the bed, Castiel smiling at him from the hospital bed. He accepted the soft kiss Dean placed on his forehead by leaning into it slightly. 

"You gave all of us quite the scare," Jess sighed from where she was checking Castiel's vitals. 

"Yeah... I scared myself too," Castiel breathed, his fingers lightly brushing against Dean's as he lost his grip. 

"You're lucky. Oxycodone O.D. revivals are unsuccessful half of the time." Jess smiled and looked over at Castiel and Dean. "I'm just glad you're okay, Cas." 

"I'm glad too." Castiel grinned sleepily. "Thank you for helping." 

"You should be thanking the real doctors," Jess joked, patting his hand. "I'm going to check on my other patients and give you two a little bit of time alone. Cas, you'll probably be moved from the ICU in a few hours, but they're probably going to ask you some questions and probably go to some drastic measures."

Dean watched as she left before looking back at Castiel, finding him trying his hardest to keep his eyes open. "Cas," he mumbled, one hand lifting to Castiel's cheek. Castiel grunted in response, smiling again. "Go to sleep. You're safe now, Angel. 

"You tried to paint your soul into mine earlier," Castiel whispered, his lips barely moving. "When I was dying. I remember." 

Dean smiled sadly. "Yeah, I did," he whispered. "Looks like it worked." Sadness swelled up in Dean's chest. "Go to sleep, Kiddo." 

"I'm not Kiddo," Castiel protested as he fell asleep. Dean helped him lay down again, careful so that he didn't accidentally pull out the IV or the tubes that were helping Castiel breathe. Dean smiled and kissed his forehead again. Time to leave and go call Gadreel and Russell and find Sam and tell all of them that Cas was okay. 

After that, he'd hunt down Bela fucking Talbot and make her realize what she'd done. Then he'd go find Castiel's parents and beat the shit out of them. He wondered if that would make him feel any better. 

***

"He's fine," Dean sighed into the phone as soon as Gadreel answered. "He's sleeping right now in the ICU, but he's fine." 

"Oh, thank the fucking Heavens." Gadreel replied, the sound muffled slightly. "Jesus Christ. I was worried that you would be calling to tell me that he'd-"

"No, not quite yet. Let's just hope that he's okay."

"What even happened? You tried to explain earlier, but you were hysterical." 

Dean cleared his throat before speaking, watching a doctor pass by. "Well, his- uh... His parents showed up at his apartment." 

"Not again." 

"Again?" Dean frowned, his fist tightening around the keys in his pocket. "This has happened before?"

"Not necessarily this," Gadreel sighed. "But he's tried to do something like this before. His parents are his triggers. They show up every other year apparently to tell him off. Cas isn't exactly the strongest when it comes to facing his father."

"Really?" Dean's voice dropped to a whisper. "That's..." 

"Yeah. Russell told me earlier that more often than not Castiel would end up running to his house- literally running- to get away from his homophobic, religious, verbally abusive father." 

"Holy shit." 

"Yeah. Look, man, I have to go. I'll show up at the hospital later, okay? I have to check on Cas too." 

"Yeah. Good luck, King."

"It's Gadreel, but thank you." 

Gadreel hung up first. Dean sighed and found Russell's contact in Castiel's phone, saying almost exactly the same thing. He questioned Russell about when Castiel had run to his house, and Russell told him almost the same exact thing that Gadreel had said. 

Castiel woke up a few hours later and asked for Dean again. The nurses brought him in, but told him he had to make it quick because there would be a doctor there soon to check up on Castiel so that they could take him from the ICU and into a normal hospital room. Dean smiled and thanked her, sitting down next to Castiel this time. 

A smile flittered across Castiel's face when Dean took his hand. God, he was gorgeous. Dean lifted Castiel's hand and smiled at him as he kissed his knuckles. They stayed like that, soaking in the silence, until Castiel took a deep shaky breath. It sounded like it pained him. "I think they're going to admit me to the psych ward." 

Dean frowned. "I won't let them." 

"I... I kind of want them to. I need to be sure that I'm not going to do this again."

"Cas, I know ou won't because you're going to have me there to help you."

"You were there for me when I did this earlier." 

Sighing, Dean squeezed Castiel's hand. "Look, Cas, I don't-" He took one look at Castiel and his hopeful eyes before sighing again and shaking his head. "Nevermind. It's your call, Angel. I can't make you do anything."

"Thank you," Castiel whispered, smiling again. "I think I do want them to." 

"Just make sure to write me from prison," Dean teased. Castiel laughed softly, lacing his fingers with Dean's. The sound was music to Dean's ears. He leaned in and kissed Castiel softly, his free hand on Castiel's neck. The feeling of Castiel's lips on his was intoxicating. Without meaning to, Dean deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against Castiel's like silk. 

They pulled apart when Dean felt tears threatening again. "I'm so happy those pills didn't work," he choked out, trembling slightly. He channeled it all into his toes, tapping them against the sole of his shoe. "I'm so happy you're still alive. I thought I was going to lose you." 

"Dean, breathe. Calm down, Green Eyes." Dean's heart swelled at the nickname. "You want to hear my side of the story?" Despite Dean's lack of approval, Castiel continued on. He explained everything, how his parents caught him unprepared, how he took one pill to try and calm his nerves, how when they left he went to vomit more and ended up taking those pills. As soon as he said that he realized what he would be leaving and how he'd seen the aftermath of people who had done what he'd almost done, Dean's hand tightened on Castiel's. Then he said that Dean "knew the rest of the story." 

Dean sighed shakily and brushed a hand against Castiel's cheek. "Cas, I want to be able to help you." 

"And you are, Dean, but this is something I need more professional help with." 

Dena sighed again and kissed Castiel. "I'm paying for this, then. I'll put you in under my insurance. Free of charge for you, Angel." 

"Taking the relationship to the next level, huh?" Castiel teased in a hoarse whisper.

Dean laughed and kissed him one more time. "I'd fucking marry you if I could, Cas. You know that." 

Castiel's cheeks flushed red and Dean counted it as a victory. He watched as Castiel looked away, suddenly sad that those ocean blue eyes weren't on his anymore. Dean lifted his hand to Castiel's cheek and turned his head. Their eyes met again and Dean grinned. 

"Much better. I like when I can see those baby blues." 

"Whatever," Castiel whispered. Dean wanted to kiss him again, but he figured the guy needed a break. He was looking like he was having trouble breathing again. Dean's eyes wandered over his adorable straight slope of a nose, his soft features, his pretty full lips... 

"Why don't you marry me?" 

"Cas, this is Kansas." 

"It's legal. Hell, even if they still won't let us, we can get a simple civil union and pretend it's a wedding." Castiel coughed softly. 

"Do you want me to get a nurse?" 

"No. I'm fine," Castiel sighed, lifting his free hand to push the tubes up a little. Dean watched him in apprehension. "Answer my question, please." 

Dean sighed. "I'm kind of afraid to. What if something goes wrong?" 

"Then it goes wrong, Green Eyes." 

Dean stared down at Castiel, taking in every bit he could. Every stray dark hair against the pillow, every inch of olive skin that was visible, every breath that he could actually see leaving Castiel's body because of the way he trembled slightly when he did, every dark hair against that skin, every shade of blue in his eyes... 

"Let's do it." Dean whispered. He watched the smile grow on Castiel's face and grinned himself. "Let's do it." 

"I expect a proper proposal after I get out," Castiel laughed softly. 

Dean nodded. "I'll buy a ring and everything. Down on one knee, even both knees, if you want me to, and I'll ask you and put that ring on your finger the second you say yes, Cas." 

Castiel was blushing again. His hand tightened on Dean's. "I love you." 

"I love you too," Dean whispered, his lips pressing against Castiel's cheek as the door opened. "Good luck, Angel." 

"Whatever, Green Eyes. Go get that ring." 

Dean winked and saluted at him over the nurse's shoulder, grinning when he heard Castiel laugh again. 

***

Castiel's chest hurt. Every beat of his heart took twice the power it normally did. It was even hard to move. His arms and legs felt like lead.

He couldn't get his mind off of Dean, though. Dean wanted to marry him. Dean was going to marry him. 

"Thinking about that kiss?" Jess taunted, gently helping Castiel sit up again. He smiled and rolled his eyes. 

"Not quite." 

"Dean's something special, isn't he?" Jess sighed. "I'm going to take the oxygen off, okay? It'll be weird at first, but we can put it back on in a second. I'm sure you can do this, Cas." 

Castiel nodded and sucked in a deep breath after she removed the tubes from his nose. Her hands gently rested on his shoulders and helped him stand up. They were testing his limits now that he was fully awake. 

Her hands remained on his elbows as he took his first few steps, getting feeling back in his legs. 

"I feel-" Castiel breathed deeply, "-like some old man." 

Jessica laughed. 

"I can see why Sam likes you. You're very caring and beautiful," Castiel commented. He needed to get used to speaking again. It was hurting his throat, but it was something he needed to do. "You're more than that, though. It's something I can't explain." 

It took Jess a second to reply. "Thank you, Cas." She paused again, her hands almost dropping from Castiel's elbows. Castiel turned to look at her and found her smiling fondly at him. "You know, Cas, for all you two have been through, I really think you and Dean can make it through anything. Hell. The apocalypse. You name it, you and Dean could live through it." She paused again. "You downed eleven Oxycodone and lived to tell the tale. Dean has lived through the deaths of every person he's ever cared about aside from Sam and me, but you're the one outside of the family that stuck. I think it says something." 

Castiel smiled. "I hope we can survive through more. All four of us." 

Silence fell between them for a few moments. It was a building silence. Both of them were working up the courage to admit what was on their minds. 

They spoke at the same time. 

"Dean said he'll marry me." 

"I think I'm pregnant."

Castiel's jaw dropped. "Oh- I- Jess, that's amazing!" 

"What are you talking about? Yours is so much better!" 

They hugged each other and laughed, Castiel's laugh a little weaker than Jessica's, but it still held the same effect. 

"Pregnant," Castiel sighed happily. "Make sure the kid has got your eyes and Sam's hair." 

Jess laughed. "I don't think I can really control it." 

"Who cares? Think about that. It would be adorable." 

Jess laughed again. "It would be. But imagine you and Dean married. Finally. It's been like a year." 

"A lot less than a year." 

"Almost a year, Cas. We met on Christmas. From what I've gathered, you two started dating around October. That means that you're only a month and a half away from your one year benchmark." 

Castiel smiled more. "I guess so. I didn't think about it." 

Jess's voice softened. "They want to admit you into the psychology ward for three weeks." 

"Three weeks? You're kidding me!" 

"It's normally a month after a suicide attempt, Cas." 

"I have a job! I have an apartment. School starts soon!" Castiel complained, pulling away from Jess. He hurt his arm slightly in the process, but he didn't care. "What the fuck? Do they know I'm a college student?" 

"I think they do," Jess sighed. "Look, Sam and I can help with the school stuff. We can go sign you up, get all your credentials, explain the situation to the professors. Dean can handle the club. We all know that. And screw the apartment, Cas. We all know you want to move in with Dean and we all know you two practically live together already." 

"Jess-" 

"Seriously, Cas. I think you should accept the three weeks and let us take care of the outside world while you're taken care of in here." 

"Will I be able to see Dean and you and Sam in that time?" Castiel asked, his mind set. If she said no, he was going to refuse. 

"I'm sure you'll be able to. I'll be able to bring you your schoolwork, your laptop and clothes. And I'm sure that they'll let you see Dean once they find out you're on his insurance." 

Castiel sighed. "What about Sam? I care just as much about him as I do Dean and you." 

"I'll find a way," Jess winked. "Don't worry." 

"How Girl, Interrupted," Castiel teased. He felt his legs growing tired. "Can I sit back down?" 

***

Dean's fingers wrapped around the phone as the secretary spoke. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Winchester, but Ms. Talbot has taken a vacation out of the country. If you would like to contact her, you could try her cell phone." 

"I will. Thank you," he replied, trying to keep his voice as civil as possible. "I have one more question. Did she tell you why she is taking this vacation?"

"No, sir, I do not." 

A sigh left Dean's lips. "Okay. Thank you." 

He hung up angry. Bela had fled the country. How nice. 

He hit call on Bela's contact and kicked the tire of his car lightly. He had been on his way back to the hospital with his last chance to see Cas before they took him into the psych ward when he realized that he hadn’t done anything about Bela. 

"Hello?" 

"You fucking bitch," Dean hissed into the phone. "You know that you put Cas in the hospital, don't you? You put him in there by contacting his fucking parents-"

"Mr. Winchester, if I were you I would refrain from doing anything ridiculous. I have decided to cease our little... agreement." 

"You have?"

"Yes. Now go back to the hospital and make sure he is okay." 

"Th-" Dean stuttered, feeling like some anvil had just been lifted from his chest. "Thank you." 

Bela hung up on him. 

Well, that was an improvement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things were a little quick there, weren't they? I bet everyone was expecting some big huge fight between Dean and Bela, right?


	15. Chapter 15

Dean kissed  Castiel  and squeezed his hand lightly, smiling at him. "I'll see you soon, Angel."

"You better show up for at least one visit. If you don't, I'm going to be pissed."  Castiel  playfully smacked Dean's arm. "I mean, come on. How pathetic would I be if my fiancé didn't show up to see me?"

Dean grinned. "That would be pretty pathetic. I think I would be the most pathetic one, though. Not showing up to see you? That's pretty sad." 

Castiel  pulled him into another kiss before he had to go. "I love you."

"I love you too, Angel. Good luck." 

"Just don't get put in here too." 

Dean sighed and watched  Castiel  walk away with a small smile. God, he was so in love. 

***

A week later, Dean let himself into Crowley's office with the most serious look he could manage. 

"Crowley?" he asked, hoping he was there. If he wasn't, Dean wasn't sure when he would have the confidence to do this again. 

"Hello, Dean. To what do I owe this pleasure?" Crowley asked, walking away from the window. His Scottish voice was soaking in sarcasm. He was significantly shorter than Dean, but he held more authority and power than one would imagine. 

Dean stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him, clearing his throat softly. "I have something to tell you, and I'm not quite sure if you will like it or not." Dean shoved his hands into his pockets, watching Crowley cast a sideways glance at him as he took a seat in his desk chair. Dean remained standing near the door, ready to make a break for it if he needed to. 

"What are you waiting for, Squirrel? Spit it out." 

"I'm getting married." 

"And why would I not like this? Marriages are fairly good." 

"I'm getting married to a man." 

"And that is the bomb drop," Crowley smiled, leaning forward. "Tell me, Winchester, do I seem like a homophobic man?" 

"To be honest, Crowley, I'm not sure." 

"Your personal life is not of import in relation to your work, Winchester. It seems that you've been with this man for a while, considering you two are eloping, so I'm not quite concerned. You've been preforming better lately, actually. I was worried that Ms. Talbot's blackmail would hinder your activity, and it did for a while before you stepped up your game."

Dean smiled in relief. "Thank God. I thought you would fire me or-"

"Now why would I fire my best employee? You got the position as CEO by working hard, Winchester, and I expect to see more of that. I don't think anyone else aside from myself would be able to pull off a position of power such as that." 

Dean nodded, unsure of what to say. He took a deep breath. "Thank you, Crowley." 

"You can leave now." 

Another nod from Dean. As he walked out the door, he heard Crowley call for him to stop. 

"What's the matter?" Dean asked. 

"I expect an invitation to this wedding." 

Dean laughed and closed the door behind him as he walked away, heading back to his own office.

***

When  Castiel  walked out, Dean was leaning against the car smoking a cigarette. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back as he exhaled the smoke, which made it even more of a surprise when lips pressed to his neck. He jumped and laughed softly, kissing  Castiel  happily. 

Three weeks ago, he'd been admitted to the psych ward of the hospital for a sort of 'suicide watch,' but now he was out and happier than ever. Dean could tell, too. He watched as  Castiel  started to feel better about himself and who he was. 

His smiles seemed more genuine. His eyes sparkled more often- with happiness, not tears. His touches were light and flighty, like a bird landing and then taking off again, and Dean loved it.  Castiel  kissed him whenever he wanted to, whether it was appropriate timing and the appropriate place or not. When he spoke, his voice was lighter and more normal pitched. 

Their lips pressed together one more time before  Castiel  tugged open the car door and tossed his bag of clothes and his school bag in the back seat.  Castiel  grinned up at him toothily. "Hey." 

"Hey, Angel." Dean took another drag of his cigarette, turning his head and exhaling the smoke.  Castiel  frowned at him and plucked the cigarette from Dean's fingers, flicking it to the ground and stepping on it. 

"You quit months ago, baby,"  Castiel  sighed. "I thought you were done." His hand lifted to run through Dean's hair. 

"I did," Dean muttered. "It gets boring without a fiancé around." He smiled when  Castiel  did. Dean's lips pressed to his forehead. "Let's head home, Angel." 

Both of them got into the car and left the hospital parking lot. 

When they got home,  Castiel  practically jumped on Dean. 

***

A week later, Dean and  Castiel  were sitting in the living room at home- their home, now that  Castiel  had moved all of his belongings from his apartment to Dean's house- and watching the cheesiest horror movie known to man. Dean laughed at the ridiculous blood splatters that appeared on the screen when a character was killed, while  Castiel  grinned simply because Dean was laughing and that sound was wonderful. 

Castiel  leaned back between Dean's legs, the knob of his spine against the top of the couch cushion, and puckered his lips. Dean had started taking that as a sign that  Castiel  wanted a kiss earlier in the week. Dean grinned and leaned down, pressing his lips to  Castiel's  lightly.  Castiel  raised his hand and let his fingers brush against Dean's neck. Dean had recently quit smoking again now that  Castiel  was back, so this kiss was free of the sticky leather and stale coffee taste that cigarettes usually left in  Castiel's  mouth when they kissed. Instead it was fresh and light. 

As soon as they pulled apart,  Castiel  wanted more. He grunted and puckered his lips again, smiling when Dean rolled his eyes and covered  Castiel's  lips with one hand. Instead, he kissed Dean's palm repeatedly, eyes still on those green ones above him. Dean chuckled and tapped  Castiel's  chin with his fingers slowly. 

Nice silent moments like these came often lately. Dean had been able to take a little more time off of work than he had expected. Over the years he'd built up quite the vault of vacation and sick days. Not to mention that most of his work was the kind he could do at home recently.  Castiel  had decided to take time off from the club and work at the closest therapy office to the campus and Dean's house. That job started in two weeks, just after school started. 

"We should go to the diner sometime soon,"  Castiel  sighed once Dean's hand was gone from his mouth. "It's been a long time." 

"I was thinking about that too," Dean replied. When  Castiel  looked up at him, his head was leaning back against the couch, his fingers tapping a soft rhythm on the cushion next to him. "I was thinking about the Chinese place too. It's been a while since we had anything from there." 

Castiel  smiled. "Ah, that old charm. I vote for Chinese tonight." 

"Eat out? Carry out?"

"Eat out. Let's expose ourselves to the real world again." 

Dean laughed again and nodded. "Sounds perfect." 

Two hours later, they were sitting in the Chinese restaurant, smiling at each other across the table, holding hands. They spoke quietly back and forth about everything, as they had in the first few weeks of their relationship. They spoke about Dean's job,  Castiel's  schoolwork, their pasts, their plans. Everything. 

Dean's fingers were shaking slightly in  Castiel's  hand, like he wanted to tap his fingers on something.  Castiel  frowned slightly, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Dean's eyes were a little  darty . His toe was tapping on the floor. His features were tense. 

"Dean, what's wrong?" 

Dean glanced back at him. "What? Nothing. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Don't tell me it's nothing. You're practically trembling, Green Eyes." 

"Don't ruin-" 

There was the tip off.  Castiel  smirked and tugged on Dean's hand. "You're going to do it tonight, aren't you?" 

Dean's ears turned red. 

"You are!"  Castiel  cheered. "Finally. I've been waiting all week!"

Dean frowned. "You ruined it! Now I'm not going to do it. No way,  Cas ." 

Castiel  pouted, lacing his fingers with Dean's. "Come on, Dean. Please?"

Dean shook his head and smiled slightly. "Sorry, Kiddo." 

***

Castiel  playfully bumped hips with Dean and laughed. Dean grabbed his waist and pulled him close again, as he had multiple times before. Hands on Dean's chest,  Castiel  lifted onto his tip-toed and kissed his nose. 

"So,"  Castiel  grinned, his head tilting as he dropped down flat-foot again, "when am I getting that ring?" 

 "When we're not babysitting my secretary's son," Dean teased quietly, "and when we're not doing the dishes." 

"Whatever,"  Castiel  pouted. It had now been over a month since their conversation about getting married. He pushed Dean away slightly, turning around to return to washing the dishes. 

"And don't bother looking for the ring like I know you do," Dean whispered, his lips against  Castiel's  ear. "It's somewhere you'll never even consider." 

Castiel  grumbled to himself, imitating Dean in a ridiculously deep voice. It was hard to fight the curl of his lips when Dean laughed. 

A loud wail came from the living room and  Castiel  kicked Dean's shin with his heel. "Go take care of Ben." 

Dean kissed him one more time before pulling away and leaving  Castiel  alone. He returned a few seconds later with a sobbing toddler in his arms.  Castiel  smiled over his shoulder and dried off his hands, tossing the towel down on the counter when he was done. Dean handed Ben off to him and  Castiel  grinned down at the little boy. 

"Come on, Ben, don't cry. What happened?"  Castiel  asked softly, bouncing him lightly. "Tell me, Soldier." 

Castiel  winked at Dean when he smiled at the nickname. 

"Boo-boo," Ben whined. 

Castiel  frowned. "Where's the boo-boo?" 

Ben lifted a chubby little hand and pointed to his elbow.  Castiel  smiled slightly at the miniscule scratch. 

"You want me to kiss it better?" 

Ben shook his head slowly. His tears were gone now, but they still filled his eyes. The marks were still on his chubby cheeks. He hiccupped and toyed with the small book in his hands. "I'm soldier. I do it a-a-" Ben stumbled over the word. It must have been fairly new to him. 

"Alone?"  Castiel  asked, setting Ben down on his feet and crouching in front of him. When Ben nodded,  Castiel  smiled. "You know, Soldier, you don't have to do everything alone. You'll have plenty of time for 'alone' later on." 

Ben frowned slightly. "But a-"  Castiel  supplied the word. "Alone is fun." 

Cas  sighed and shook his head slightly. "You'll understand later, Soldier." He ruffled Ben's hair. "Go play again, kid. Maybe you can get Uncle Dean to play with you so you aren't alone." He stressed the word "alone" and winked. 

Ben smiled shakily and  Castiel  grinned more. 

"Uncle Dean!" Ben shouted, running for Dean and latching onto his leg. "Play with me!" 

"What's the magic word, Soldier?" 

" Ple -e-ease?" Ben begged, pouting at Dean as he picked him up. Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes sarcastically, finally agreeing and lifting Ben up to make him feel like a superhero as he flew him into the living room again. 

Castiel  grinned after them, starting to dry off the dishes to put them away and give Dean a while longer with Ben. 

***

One year. He'd been with Dean for one year. 

Wow. 

One year of this,  Castiel  thought as he sat down across from Dean at the table of the diner. One year, and here they were, back at the very start. They were on the same sides of the same booth  st  the same diner. It was practically a recreation of their first date. 

Dean tugged at his own tie to loosen it, smiling at  Cas . "So, how are you feeling today, Kiddo?" 

"Quit the Kiddo stuff,"  Castiel  laughed. "I'm good. A lot better than the last time we were here." 

Dean smiled and stole a kiss from across the table.  Castiel  smiled and bit his lip playfully. "Sit down and order your damn beer so we can get on with this. It's our one year. I think we deserve a quick dinner and a night of fucking." 

Dean scoffed and looked up at the waitress coming toward them.  Castiel  took the moment to examine Dean, grinning at how relaxed and happy he seemed to be. 

Castiel  ordered a coffee. Dean ordered a beer. They both ordered burgers. When their food arrived, they ate while conversing, tossing fries at each other and trying to get them in the others mouth, more often than not hitting their noses with the flying potatoes.  Castiel  laughed when his forehead was hit, exclaiming "That wasn't even close, you ass!" 

"You're not even close, you ass," Dean replied, throwing another fry and scoring a goal by getting it onto  Castiel's  tongue.

"Shut up,"  Castiel  chuckled, chewing and picking up a fry of his own. 

"You shut up," Dean repeated, catching the fry easily. The way he did it made  Castiel  look like a clown. A smile crossed  Castiel's  lips as he dragged a fry through a glob of ketchup and reached across the table. "Fuck the strawberries, fries are better," Dean laughed, taking the fry with his teeth and practically devouring it. 

"Strawberries?"  Castiel  asked, raising an eyebrow. "Did Dean Winchester do something romantic for once?" 

"Hey. Don't go all  pissy  on me," Dean deadpanned, raising his hands. "They're at home." 

"Ah, home,"  Castiel  sighed fondly. "I love that place. It has strawberries and it has the bed and it has movies." 

Dean laughed again. "You're such a dork. Finish your dinner so we can head back to that place you love so much." 

Castiel  grinned and took another bite of his burger, eyes locked on Dean's. "So," he started, covering his mouth with one hand as he chewed, setting down his burger. "What's the plan for tonight?" 

"Oh, well, I was thinking maybe a little screwing," Dean grinned, ticking off the list on his fingers. "Then some fucking. Then some love making. Maybe a little of sex between that?" 

Castiel  rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Dean. What's your big huge plan? You hate buying vegetables and fruits. Why'd you buy strawberries?" 

"They're chocolate covered." 

Castiel  laughed. "You never care if they're chocolate covered. I remember you saying this exactly on our six months, "I don't eat rabbit food,  Cas . I'm a warrior.""  Castiel  quoted Dean in a bad imitation, voice deep and scratchy and breathy. He laughed with Dean. 

"I don't sound like that!" 

"You kind of do,"  Castiel  chuckled. "Answer the question." 

"Fine. I bought them because I know you like them and they're romantic as hell. They're very typical, but they're romantic. I wanted to do something nice for you." Dean's cheeks flushed slightly and  Castiel  grinned, kicking him lightly under the table as he popped a fry into his own mouth. 

"You do more than enough nice stuff for me, Dean. You didn't have to do this." Smiling,  Castiel  met Dean's eyes again. "I don't understand how no one snatched you up before I came along." 

"I didn't let anyone," Dean grinned, taking a swig of his beer. "I was waiting for a certain someone- a certain something- and you're the only one who met my qualifications." 

Castiel  laughed softly, looking down again. "I love you, Dean." 

"What was that?" Dean asked, leaning forward. "Your old man is getting hard of hearing." 

Castiel  rolled his eyes and shook his head, leaning in to whisper it against Dean's salt covered lips. "I said I love you, Dean." 

"Oh. That. I love you too, Angel." Dean smiled against his lips. "We should probably head out soon." 

"Maybe,"  Castiel  nodded slowly, taking a sip of coffee. "Back to your place?" He winked as he said it. 

"Sure as hell," Dean laughed, playing along. "Just don't run out on me." 

"No promises,"  Castiel  grinned, standing up and grabbing his leather jacket from the seat. He slid it on as Dean paid, grabbing Dean's and, without thinking, lifting it to his face and smelling the fabric. He dropped it as soon as he realized what he was doing, but he grinned all in the same. His smile accompanied him to the register, where he draped Dean's coat over his shoulders and took his hand. Dean grinned down at him and squeezed his hand lightly. 

Once they were outside,  Castiel  smiled and hooked his arm through Dean's. "Remember when I slipped on ice out here?" 

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I do. You've slipped more than once." 

Castiel  grinned, watching his step and holding onto Dean's arm. He slipped slightly, but Dean caught him with a smile and a strong grip.  Castiel  smiled and looked up at him through his eyelashes. Dean helped him to the car and winked, pinning  Castiel  back against the side of the car, straddling  Castiel's  leg slightly.  Castiel  smiled up at him and tilted his head back slightly. His breath hitched when Dean's lips came close enough to touch his own, but just barely did so.  Castiel  realized what he was doing and grinned, one hand lifting to Dean's shoulder. 

"I should have let you kiss me right here,"  Castiel  whispered. "We should have kissed right here for the first time, against this damn car, in the middle of this parking lot, in the middle of this city, in the middle of this god damned country, Dean." 

Dean took a deep breath and, as he was exhaling,  Castiel  leaned up and kissed him tentatively, lips soft and cautious. Strong hands lifted to  Castiel's  cheeks, holding him in place as the kiss deepened.  Castiel  moaned softly against his lips, fingers digging into his shoulder. 

After they pulled apart, they smiled at each other. Dean opened  Castiel's  door for him, then circled around to the other side after closing the door once  Castiel  was safely in the car. They went home, and when they walked in the door they shed their jackets and Dean pinned  Castiel  back against the wall with a deep, longing kiss.  Castiel  replied with just as much fever.

***

Dean followed  Castiel  upstairs, grinning and squeezing the hand in his. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Dean twirled  Castiel  and laughed, catching him and dipping him over his arm, kissing him lovingly.  Castiel's  fingers tangled in his hair, tugging him even closer as Dean lifted him back up. 

"Dean-"  Castiel  breathed, lightly pushing on Dean's shoulders as they stumbled into the bedroom. "I've got a little something for tonight." 

Dean's eyebrow lifted. "A little something?" 

"Close your eyes and keep them closed until I say it's okay, baby."  Castiel  whispered the words against Dean's lips, leaving him after a soft peck on the lips. Dean smiled, eyes closed, and listened as  Castiel  opened the closet. There was a distinct ruffle of clothes. Then there was the sound of a door closing, then a shout that told Dean he could open his eyes if he wanted. 

Dean sighed shakily, his heart racing. Quickly, he rushed to get the candles from the drawer. He set them up on the dresser, on the bedside tables, even a few on the ground, and lit them as he went along.  He flicked off the lights. The glow from the candles cast the room in a flickering orange light. Perfect. 

When  Castiel  entered the room again, looking... Astounding. Dean lost his whole train of thought, his mouth going dry and his heart pounding even harder. Lingerie was the one thing he'd never expected to see  Castiel  in, but now that he saw it, he wanted it more often. The silky blue translucent fabric draped over  Castiel's  skin, making it look like velvet. The boxer briefs he was wearing were lace and they might as well have not been there for all they showed. And, oh, God, the knee high stockings... 

He snapped from his shocked appreciation when  Castiel  spoke. "Dean? What-" 

Dean smiled slowly and gradually dropped down to one knee, hand sliding into his pocket to pull out the little red velvet box. It was horribly typical, but romantic. That was the theme of the night. He watched as  Castiel's  hand lifted to his mouth and tears filled his eyes. 

" Castiel  James 'Fucking Hot As Hell' Collins," Dean whispered, his eyes on  Castiel's , "will you marry me?" 

Castiel  nodded and grinned. Dean jumped up and opened the box, grinning even more (seemingly impossible) at  Castiel's  reaction to the simple silver band. Dean lightly pulled his hands down from his mouth, taking the left one and sliding the ring onto  Castiel's  finger. It looked a little loose, but that was fine. Dean had just eyed the size.  Castiel  grabbed Dean's tie and tugged him forward into the deepest kiss Dean had ever received. Dean moaned into it and hooked his fingers in  Castiel's  waistband, his hands moving around his hips to latch onto his practically bare ass.  Castiel  jumped and wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, fingers tangled in Dean's hair again. 

Neither of them had come up from the kiss. 

Dean carried  Castiel  to the bed, dropping him down with a grunt. Dean landed over  Castiel , his legs being the only thing keeping him from crushing  Castiel's  body. The cold metal of the ring brushed against Dean's skin when  Castiel's  hand moved from Dean's hair to his neck. Now that was something he could get used to. A shiver took hold of his body. His lips dragged against  Castiel's  neck as  Cas  unbuttoned his shirt and unhooked his tie. 

A low moan came from  Castiel . "I love you." 

"I love you too," Dean whispered, sucking a hickey onto  Castiel's  collarbone. "More than I've ever loved anyone." 

Castiel  moaned again, tugging at Dean's shirt to tear it off. Next to come off was Dean's pants. Then it was  Castiel's  lingerie, but the panties stayed. Dean enjoyed ghosting his breath over  Castiel's  length through the thin fabric. Most of the time was spent doing just that simply because Dean loved the sound of his name being whispered every time he did.  Castiel's  hands were tangled in the sheets. His back arched and lifted from the bed when Dean lowered his lips to his hipbone and bit the waistband of the underwear, tugging them down a little. 

When Dean finally got the underwear off,  Castiel  flipped them. He went down on Dean, sucking him right to the edge of the cliff before kissing back up his torso and kissing Dean's lips. Tasting himself on  Castiel's  lips was one of Dean's favorite things.  Castiel  lowered onto him and gasped, his lips dragging against Dean's as he started to move. Dean's hand slid down  Castiel's  back, fingers brushing against his spine. His fingernails dug into the skin of  Castiel's  ass, the other hand in  Castiel's  hair. Tugging softly, Dean moaned and pushed his hips up. A shudder racked through  Castiel's  body.

Castiel  gasped his name. 

Dean smiled and fucked himself into  Castiel , his fingernails dragging against  Castiel's  skin. Their eyes locked and  Castiel  smiled, dropping his lips onto Dean's when Dean pushed up again at the same angle, dragging a low groan from the man on top of him. They shifted, Dean over  Castiel  now, slowing down their pace to make it more loving and gentle instead of hard and rough. 

They came at almost the same time, gasping for breath and grasping onto each other. 

Dean pulled out of  Castiel  slowly, falling to the side and smiling to the side at  Castiel .  Castiel  smiled back, staring at the ceiling. Dean laced their fingers together, enjoying the feeling of the ring on  Castiel's  finger. 

***

Castiel  smiled and rolled over, burying his face in Dean's neck.

Only a few months ago he had been a prostitute working at The Dirty Angels. He was upset with his personality and in love with his body. 

Then he met Dean and his whole fucking life flipped upside down. 

Now he was engaged for sure, in love, and in bed with his fiancé, curled up against his side with the morning sun beating down on them through the window. 

He'd never loved sunshine as much as he did now. 

He inhaled deeply. 

Lime and peppermint... That's what Green Eyes smelled like to  Castiel .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it. We actually did it.   
> It's over.   
> There may be a little epilogue coming, but I'm not sure yet. I've got it started, but I'm not sure of how to finish it quite yet.   
> It's been a long ride with Lace and Leather, however, and it sure has been eventful and exciting. I never expected this to get as many hits as it did!   
> Thank you all for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, and more! I appreciate all of it! Most of all, however, thank you for reading and sticking along with me as I wrote this!   
> It's been a good drive. :-) I'll see you all next fic/post!  
> SIDE NOTE: I'm taking a quick break from writing fan fiction to focus on the original story I'm writing. I'll still be posting quick one shots on occasion, though, so stay tuned! :-) I've got one done already for it, and I'll definitely be adding to my Charvelle one shot collection.


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